Tag: marvel

Superhero Speculation

The comic mentioned in the podcast

[Music].

The name everybody knows, that’s Superman.

And it’s a question I’ve had since I was a kid, and it’s essentially how the

Superman fly.

In the early, early comics, which I haven’t read a lot of them, but I know

the very first few, just because I’ve read them on the Internet.

Superman doesn’t start flying. He starts by jumping, and that’s where you

get the leaps tall buildings phrase.

Just fine. So that’s something he’s learned how to do over time, is fly.

So it’s something he’s learned to control. It’s something he’s developed. It

‘s a skill, let’s say.

We also know that his physiology is very similar to humans. In that, he’s

got two legs, two arms, and his external body seems similar.

I did see a comic on the Internet where he was able to have sex with Lois

Lane, and his penis had pincers, and she was shocked.

It was a good comic. I’ll link to that if I can find it.

But basically, we could take that his internal systems are similar.

Of course, much more difficult to damage. He’s much stronger. But it’s never

been said that he has two hearts or four stomachs or anything particularly

unusual about him.

He’s just a humanoid. He is an alien, but basically he’s similar to us.

What I’ve always found interesting is that

he has to have some form of propulsion.

The only reason I know that is because he can change speeds. He can fly, and

then something exciting or dangerous happens, and he starts flying faster.

So there’s a push there, and it’s not coming from his arms. He puts his arms

out, and it seems more for stabilization purposes.

And his not like his legs, his legs seem to just trail behind him. He has

also been seen to hover.

And that to me was the clue as to what was going on, because then he’s

clearly not using his arms. He’s not using his legs because his legs have

actually seen images of him sort of in an almost a sitting position.

But his legs are not controlling, or his legs don’t seem to be controlling

his stable position in the sky.

So that means there is something pushing downwards to counteract gravity.

The image that came to mind was sort of those jump jets where the engines

pushed straight down, and then the wings turned and then they fly off.

We do know that one of his skills is what is referred to as super breath, so

he can blow out air really, really strong for a long time at a very, very

low temperature and freeze things.

And that would indicate that he has incredible control over the amount of

oxygen that goes into his body, which leads me to the conclusion that the

way Superman flies is by blowing air out his sphincter.

And that would also account for control speed. He could clench and it would

slow down and he could push harder and go faster.

When he’s doing his super breath, this is actually sort of a side issue. He.

does it for a very long time.

And we know that his lungs don’t have infinite capacity simply because they

‘re contained within his body, which means if he’s blowing for an extended

period, he has to be taking that air from another source, which makes me

think that he’s pulling air in through

his butt and blowing it out his mouth .

And the reverse could be true. He’s

taking air in through his mouth and nose.

and blowing it out his anus. And that is how Superman could fly.

Now, no one in the comics is ever complained about a smell because that

would lead to too many questions. I think

there are two possible reasons for this.

One, there’s the imminent threat of violence. I mean, you’re not going to

walk up to what is essentially a god on earth and telling him that when he

flies around, it really stinks.

But more logically, because it’s not really a fart, it’s not like student is

stomach, it’s just air blowing through

it, wouldn’t really have any smell at all.

Or because of his alien physiology, it smells great. It could smell like

mint. Superman flies by and there’s a nice minty aroma afterwards, which

would be great.

In one conversation, I even suggested that perhaps he farts ozone and is

therefore repairing the ozone layer as he flies around.

People have come up with counter arguments, but they always start bringing

in some pretty fantastic elements, whereas

this is a very basic solution to the problem.

And it takes into account his physiology

being similar to a human’s and does.

explain how he can modulate his speeds.

If you have a counter theory, please

feel free to post it and I’ll ignore that.

Wolverine. So he’s a mutant and that’s where he gets his healing abilities.

And we also know that in his forearms, there are sort of extra bones that

can come out and act like claws.

Later on as part of a military experiment, they decided to cover his whole.

skeleton in adamantium, which is cool because now he has like silver blades

that come out the front of his hand.

He was able to survive this process primarily because of his amazing healing

ability. It leads me to one question, which is why are his teeth not silver?

Because if they covered his whole skeleton in adamantium, why would you stop

at covering his teeth?

So we’re talking about his spine, his skull, his arms, his legs, all those.

bones. And it would seem like it would be more difficult to cover parts of

his skull rather than the whole skull, which would include his teeth.

So it seems to me that Wolverine should have

silver teeth. And that’s pretty much it.

The Hulk’s rapid expansion and contraction when he changes from Bruce Banner

to the Hulk. And the first question is when he goes from what seems to be an

average sized man to essentially a colossus of sorts, where does all that

material come from?

Now I actually came up with an interesting answer for this because it

actually what I really want to talk about is the second part.

But I have two ideas. One, it’s a form of photosynthesis, which is why he’s

green, which ties that in together really nicely because it gives him a

reason for being green as opposed to

the fact that that was just a cheap ink .

Or he just absorbs the water and material in the air around him. So he’s

just absorbing oxygen and hydrogen and water and anything that’s in the air

to convert that rapidly into new material,

which is what his body is composed of.

Most of our body is composed of water anyways. So just taking water from the

air and expanding your muscles and stuff would actually make a certain

amount of sense.

That’s great. So I could actually accept either of those answers. I’m sure

there’s some other ones to be great, but material just doesn’t happen. It.

just doesn’t exist out of nothing.

That leads to a slightly more disturbing secondary question of where does

all that material go after he shrinks down again.

The process of him going from being the Hulk to Bruce Banner again takes

only a matter of seconds. So that extra material has to be flushed out of

his system really quickly.

And that is sort of my first clue as to what should happen. Because to me in

my head, because it’s probably water or something like water, amino acids

and stuff, it’s liquid.

And we don’t see him vomit, although I think that would actually be really

appropriate.

To me, it seems that when the Hulk shrinks down into Bruce Banner, he should

almost instantaneously take a massive pee. Or probably more realistically,

he should take a massive liquid poop.

Now no one wants to see that. No one wants to draw that into a cartoon. And

that’s fine. But my thinking is that the

matter has to be absorbed into his body.

He becomes huge when he shrinks down.

That matter has to be disposed of. And.

that’s again, it’s something really gross that one of the things that they

don’t want to add into a column for kids.

Now one of my co-workers actually started discussing quantum states and the

distance between atoms and how that we are made up of mostly nothing.

Which is a fair claim. I didn’t like it

because it wasn’t as funny as taking.

a poop. But I brought that as a question

to a friend of mine who studied physics.

And he brought up the issue of if that’s how he expands and contracts, there

are two issues. One is the massive instability it would create.

And that would basically mean that he could be when expanding. He could just

keep expanding and explode. It would be like a nuclear bomb.

That would be an interesting story because it could be if he gets too angry.

So he gets angry and that sets off this process. If he gets too angry, it

just keeps going and he gets bigger and bigger and bigger. I actually don’t

know if that’s what happens.

So does the level of anger change how much of a hulk he becomes? It doesn’t

seem that way. It seems he becomes just state A gets angry and then state B.

The more terrifying aspect of this is when he shrinks down, he should

generate a massive amount of heat and just burn the whole area around him

because all that all that energy has to go somewhere because as he contracts

that the problem occurs that that energy has to go somewhere.

So it’s the same problem as I have earlier. Only I was using sort of

physical matter. If you do it with just

energy, that energy still has to go somewhere.

So yeah, every time he shrinks down, just a massive burn whole around him

and anyone close to him dies. Kind of interesting, to be honest.

Or, and this was the most interesting part to me was that if he collapsed

and just kept collapsing, he could actually become a singularity and develop

into a black hole.

So, this stability becomes a big issue when you start messing with quantum

space. And again, my coworker said that he’s a unique individual but humans

by nature change over time.

And that’s what my physicist friend said, which means yes, he was stable

when it happened at first, but over time his state would change, therefore

making him more unstable.

Which, to be honest, he’s a great storyline. So if Marvel wants to pick that

up, you know, just all I want is a finder’s fee. I don’t really, I don’t

expect a huge payday for this.

But again, if you have any theories as to what happens when the Hulk

particularly shrinks, it’s a bit I’m more interested in. I’d like to see it

in the comments.

[Music].

Fantastic Poops

  • Music CMcB is an examination and so what I like to do is to sort of find a topic and issue and get deeper into it and what we’re going to get deeper into today is superhero butt holes. You might not have thought that’s where that sentence was going but that’s why.🎙 00:00:00.000–00:00:30.600
  • You see me? be as always a magical rainbow of joy, because you’ll never know what’s coming at the end of any sentence, poop. See? And this was weird because we, I started talking to some friends about the Fantastic Four,🎙 00:00:30.600–00:00:47.631
  • which is a comic I never read, and I actually know very little about the Fantastic Four, except for the characters therein, who they are. I used to read Spider-Man, the comics, and the Fantastic Four lived in the same city.🎙 00:00:47.631–00:01:02.751
  • and there was only one I remember and it’s because Spider-Man encountered a space fire oriented hero, anti-hero, and he couldn’t beat him. And so it was a three comic arc where Spider-Man was running away🎙 00:01:02.738–00:01:20.098
  • from this, I think it was Fire Star, but the idea was that he needed to not engage with him so that Fire Star wouldn’t hurt innocent civilians and he tried to get them to this area. He lured him into a building and then collapsed the building, but it didn’t🎙 00:01:21.218–00:01:38.103
  • kill him and he knew he’d just like power level wise he couldn’t beat him. And then in a final act of desperation, Spider-Man just like literally just starts physically punching him beating the shit out of him. Firestar never having actually been punched in the face before🎙 00:01:38.103–00:01:54.083
  • couldn’t take it. And Spider-Man puts him down and then the fantastic four show up. So I think it’s some earlier point he’d called them for help. That’s that’s all I know about the fantastic four is their kind of friends with Spider-Man.🎙 00:01:54.083–00:02:04.643
  • man. I mean, that’s that’s literally it. So there’s the thing. Now, the thing is covered in rocks. Now, I don’t know much about that. I think he has like enhanced strength. I don’t know if it’s because of the rocks. That’s that’s actually a question, but he’s very tough exterior because🎙 00:02:04.641–00:02:25.041
  • his exterior is now covered in orange rocks. I don’t know what those orange rocks are made of. He’s not happy about his life. I know that that he doesn’t want to be covered in rocks. And it’s it’s made his life more difficult. And I think.🎙 00:02:25.041–00:02:38.001
  • one of the ways he’s made his life more difficult. And this is what set off this conversation is he has to poop. He still is a human inside. He has to eat and he has to poop. But if I have a dog that I clean up his poop🎙 00:02:37.676–00:02:51.356
  • and you pick up the poop off the rock, it’s usually concrete or cement. We’re on the road, let’s say. It’s very easy to pick up. You don’t wipe. Now there are two possibilities here. One is that.🎙 00:02:51.356–00:03:08.316
  • his butt is covered in pebbles or rocks or something. And that means it’s relatively smooth and the poop would come out without much trouble. So you wouldn’t have to wipe that much. But more logically speaking,🎙 00:03:08.699–00:03:25.459
  • because if you have to squeeze poop out as we all do, he would have to clean up afterwards. Now, this would imply to me that the thing does not wipe. He must bidet. Now, if you’ve ever bideted, it’s not particularly powerful.🎙 00:03:25.459–00:03:42.059
  • It’s designed to be comfortable for a human butthole, but again, this is a human who’s covered in orange rocks, or in this case, maybe smooth pebbles. So I’m wondering if a bidet would be strong enough.🎙 00:03:41.173–00:03:56.013
  • We know the absolute minimum, the thing must bidet. But realistically speaking, to really get sort of all the crevices and whatnot, he probably has to power wash, which would mean either he has a uniquely created bathroom which Mr.🎙 00:03:56.013–00:04:12.613
  • Fantastic could say. He’d set up, he’d been being a genius inventor and scientist. He could create a bidet that was powerful enough to clean up the things but, or he has a jet set up in our special room that’s sort of just like a shower room where he can like🎙 00:04:12.613–00:04:31.736
  • kind of position himself and just set it off. Or he has a very friendly associate who is willing to do this for him and actually just power sprays his butt hole. There is another alternative. There is another possibility is that the things digestive system has been changed.🎙 00:04:31.736–00:05:09.876
  • So again, not knowing enough about the characters. I don’t know what he eats. So maybe he eats rocks and poop dust or pebbles Which would be very easy to clean up then. I don’t know Maybe he eats rock and then with the pressure of🎙 00:04:50.008–00:05:06.848
  • The things powerful digestive system that is now rock oriented Poops diamonds And that is actually a very real possibility So this is something this is something that again and when you watch superhero movies🎙 00:05:07.328–00:05:19.788
  • stuff. You follow your favorite Marvel heroes. Do they poop? How do they poop? So Spider Man is just a kid. He’s gained super powers. He poops completely normally, I assume. Daredevil, just a guy, has like echolocation of sorts. Poops normally. Now the Fantastic🎙 00:05:20.084–00:05:42.644
  • Four also has a character called the Flame. I don’t actually know if that’s his name. I know he has fire based powers. This was interesting because really if you think about it, you are… flame and you poop.🎙 00:05:42.644–00:05:58.138
  • You don’t have to wipe. So he’s in human form. He goes to the toilet and then he just goes, flame on. I know that’s the only thing I know. He says flame on. Flame on and then he would burn any poop particulate away🎙 00:05:58.138–00:06:12.278
  • because it’s outside his body. It doesn’t explain what happens internally which leads me to an interesting secondary question because let’s say the flame gets coronavirus or a flu or something. A fever is designed to kill the…🎙 00:06:12.278–00:06:56.798
  • virus in your body. If he flames on, does that immediately kill all the virus within his body? Is he’s not immune? He can catch it, but he can catch it every single day. Flame on. He’s burned it. He’s killed all the virus in his body because we don’t know anything about his internal temperature🎙 00:06:31.013–00:06:51.933
  • because logically speaking, if his internal temperature gets that high, it should actually like burn his heart. So his heart and all his internal organs must be somehow immune. to this incredibly high temperature.🎙 00:06:51.933–00:07:03.836
  • So it would say to me that he cannot get a fever because his body’s immune to high temperatures, but he does have the ability to flame on, turn his body into a human torch. Oh, it’s the human torch, not flame.🎙 00:07:03.836–00:07:22.396
  • I would like to point out that I did not do a significant amount of research before I did this. You think if I had done any sort of research, I would know the names of the character. factors, which I do not. I did look up one, and it was the laziest name I’ve ever come🎙 00:07:24.156–00:07:39.932
  • across in all of history. But the human torch must be immune internally to high temperatures, which means he can’t get a fever to fight the virus, but he could flame on and then burn it out. I know that there’s an interesting thing if you get syphilis. What you can do🎙 00:07:39.932–00:08:01.332
  • is get malaria, and the fever from the malaria is so hot. it actually kills the syphilis. And then hopefully you survive the malaria. You can go off and get syphilis again. I don’t know why it’s a weird loop. When I learned about🎙 00:08:01.332–00:08:15.970
  • that fact, it was a weird loop that stuck in my head that if you get syphilis, go get malaria and then you can go get syphilis again. You just loop that forever. And no problem. So do all firepower people, people with firepower have this ability? Or there is the second🎙 00:08:15.970–00:08:34.710
  • dairy alternative. that once the virus, if it’s strong enough to get into the human torch’s body, that because he cannot generate a fever physically, that he’s actually really, really susceptible to diseases,🎙 00:08:34.710–00:08:51.728
  • which I would be very surprised by. So that’s something to take into account when you think of the human torch. Then we move on to Mr. Fantastic. No, Mr. Fantastic. Stretchy powers. Let’s look okay in comics.🎙 00:08:51.728–00:09:08.689
  • I’ve actually never been impressed by stretchy as a power. So we have Mr. Fantastic and then the wife from The Incredibles. A Last a Girl, I believe is the name. Again no research done at all before him.🎙 00:09:08.689–00:09:22.689
  • But our poop themed questions. The last of persons, the last of people, Mr. Fantastic has the ability to stretch his body in all kinds of almost magical way. So stretches arms really far stretch really wide and block bullets🎙 00:09:22.689–00:09:42.694
  • Become incredibly flexible. I assume we also become rigid Which almost makes me not want to talk about when mistering fantastic poops He’s able to there’s two choices again. I came up with Able to flex the internal organs and body in such a way that it could come out in an incredibly🎙 00:09:43.414–00:10:07.974
  • fast single powerful move that maybe there’s no wiping needed necessary. No wipes needed. Or, and this was to me the grosser one, could descend to such a degree that the fecal matter would just drop out and no🎙 00:10:07.974–00:10:29.574
  • wiping would be necessary. Once I started thinking about this, this is the problem is once you have the thought, I started thinking about the things poop, wiping, and how problematic that would be. It then led me to extrapolate on every character in that team and then of course expand into🎙 00:10:29.574–00:10:48.202
  • the greater superhero pantheon. I hate stretchy abilities. I actually, as soon as you start thinking about what they can and cannot do, it’s really gross. Everything they do is kind of gross. And I know they’re in planning a new Fantastic Four movie, but stretchy powers just don’t🎙 00:10:48.202–00:11:07.242
  • look cool. And that’s a problem with Mr. Fantastic is even if Mr. Fantastic is. is a cool character, stretchy powers don’t look good. Now we get to the final member of the Fantastic Four, the fourth member, Invisible Woman, which I actually looked up to check, because I🎙 00:11:07.242–00:11:24.457
  • was like invisibility girl or something. It’s Invisible Woman, which is the laziest name. So you have the thing, the human torch, Mr. Fantastic, and Invisible Woman, which is like an afterthought. So I feel really bad calling her Invisible Woman. We need a better name. Even like…🎙 00:11:24.457–00:11:43.897
  • invisibility girl. No, that’s still pretty lazy. I think when you put woman and girl in it, it’s a bit. Yeah, the thing, human torch, Mr. Fantastic. You could have a Mrs. something. That would be better. I feel like the writers dropped it on this one.🎙 00:11:44.188–00:12:04.988
  • So perfectly normal human being can turn invisible. When they poop is the poop invisible. It’s really the question, the only question. We think all the other functions must be normal. You got a YAP.🎙 00:12:06.028–00:12:33.708
  • you got a bidet, you want to do whatever you want. So we actually don’t have to talk about that, which is weirdly good, but I had an extended conversation with my friend, Mr. Warmhands, about would the poop remain invisible🎙 00:12:19.456–00:12:35.496
  • or would as the poop left the body become visible as it left the body if an invisible woman decided to be invisible while she was pooping? Now I realized really quickly. Invisible woman doesn’t have to take off all her clothes to become invisible.🎙 00:12:36.616–00:12:55.558
  • She can wear those clothes, which means that the invisibility isn’t limited to the skin of the person with the power. It’s not the only person to have invisibility powers. But it does mean that it’s a surface level thing that you almost generate a field around🎙 00:12:55.558–00:13:15.198
  • you that creates invisibility. So it’s like I’m wearing my clothes. the bubble goes around my clothes. So I think of it as a bubble that goes around you, that creates invisibility, which would mean🎙 00:13:15.198–00:13:29.219
  • that the poop is invisible until it leaves the bubble. Now that could mean, again, so let’s say, if you just look at the, well, again, you know, in a video, this is a podcast. I can’t talk about it like on video.🎙 00:13:30.119–00:13:41.399
  • But right now I’m wearing a t-shirt and a jacket, and a very light jacket, but it has a hood. Now I don’t want the jacket to be invisible and the hood visible. So, the bubble must encompass everything around me that is in contact with my body completely.🎙 00:13:41.399–00:13:59.281
  • I’m wearing glasses. I don’t want when I go invisible just my glasses are floating in the air. So, anything that’s in contact with my body, which would actually just be the sort of horns in the nose bit, but these edge bits still need to be invisible.🎙 00:13:59.281–00:14:13.001
  • So, the bubble has to be almost aware enough to cover the entirety of my glasses, the entirety of my t-shirt and jacket. I don’t want just a jacket because if it has to be touching my body, t- Technically, my jacket right now, if I’m wearing a long-sleeve shirt, isn’t touching my body,🎙 00:14:13.001–00:14:28.741
  • you would just have a jacket floating in the air. So the bubble, I don’t know if I would be conscious of it as the user or if it’s just an intelligent bubble that covers anything that is on my body, which would mean the poop🎙 00:14:28.741–00:14:42.361
  • remains invisible until it disconnects from the body and in this case falls away. So then it would become suddenly visible when it’s in the air. and no longer connected. So that would be like, I’m invisible🎙 00:14:42.361–00:14:58.098
  • until I take off my jacket and I throw my jacket away. As soon as I let go of my jacket, the jacket would become visible, I think is what we’re talking about in this situation. Now I started extending the pantheon a little bit🎙 00:14:58.098–00:15:10.458
  • and talking about it, thinking about other people. And Superman is the ideal superhero. I find him very boring because of that. Superman technically is powered by the sun. It’s almost like a form of photosynthesis.🎙 00:15:10.458–00:15:26.298
  • Photosynthesis is very… efficient, there is no sort of waste matter connected to photosynthesis. But I have actually never seen Superman eat, like canonically. So does Superman eat? So does Superman have any waste products?🎙 00:15:26.298–00:15:44.267
  • Is actually the first question. There is the possibility that Superman eats, but his body is so efficient, because again, that’s supposed to be sort of a God super level person, that there is no waste matter🎙 00:15:44.267–00:15:59.427
  • every bit gets used. But because the primary source of energy is the sun, it would actually lead us to the question, does Superman have a butthole? Because it’s completely unnecessary. And we also know that when something is unnecessary, generally evolutionary speaking, it sorta🎙 00:15:59.427–00:16:19.314
  • disappears. So Superman, by extension, I believe does not have a butthole. Now, I did watch, I have a comic I read once, and it was Superman. It was sorta to play on the idea that Superman is an alien.🎙 00:16:19.314–00:16:57.754
  • and it was the first time Superman and Lois Lane were going to have a sexual intercourse. And he takes off his shirt, he has the perfect chest and body and Lois Lane’s like, ooh, she takes off some of her clothes and then he takes off his pants and then she reels back in shock🎙 00:16:34.530–00:16:48.770
  • and says, why does it have pincers? And he says in response to grab you because of course Superman is an alien and therefore his genitalia, his physiology is all very different. But we do know that Superman’s species reproduces.🎙 00:16:48.770–00:17:09.463
  • We didn’t don’t know exactly how. We’ve never seen it like a sex scene from Krypton. But because everything else is human-esque, there is an implication that Superman has a penis and could reproduce that way.🎙 00:17:09.463–00:17:21.943
  • So let’s just give him that. But if he’s powered by the sun, there’s actually no reason for him to have a butthole because he doesn’t expel any feces because there’s no feces to expel. I did like the idea, though.🎙 00:17:21.943–00:18:07.503
  • He’s so efficient, he doesn’t poop. So he eats a pizza. Every bit of the pizza is used perfectly within the body system, but then that also would imply that there is no poop. That actually offsets old theory I did🎙 00:17:38.766–00:17:58.406
  • in the old podcast, Velocipodcast, is how does Superman fly? And one of my theories that it was that you’d need something pushing away from the body, a jet stream. which I think would be an extended super fart.🎙 00:17:58.406–00:18:12.549
  • Now, I could just be a single system where Superman opens his mouth or brings Aaron through his nose, goes straight through his body and pushes it out. So it’s not like a stinky fart because it’s not sort of fermenting in the body at all.🎙 00:18:13.749–00:18:27.309
  • But that’s actually how Superman would fly. He pushes himself through the air on a jet stream that comes out his butt. That’s why he flies in that way. Like you always see him. He does float like he hovers like a.🎙 00:18:27.309–00:18:41.709
  • Osprey, but that just means his butt is aimed downward. And he’s always got his legs in a sort of odd position, and that’s to make sure that he can be like, but of course Superman being Superman doesn’t make fart sounds.🎙 00:18:41.622–00:18:55.742
  • It’s just a perfect jet stream shooting down. And then you notice when Superman takes off, there’s always like a away from his feet. Something’s creating that force. No, it’s not a jump. Jumps don’t do that.🎙 00:18:55.742–00:19:11.142
  • There’s just be some sort of jet and that jet, there’s only one thing in that area, and that’s his butt hole. That means the fart actually makes a lot of sense. But then it sort of contravenes what I just talked about where he would have no butthole.🎙 00:19:11.142–00:19:23.891
  • But he could have a butthole just for flying because that is again evolutionary, very useful thing for someone to have. If you would like me to talk about the buttholes of any of your favorite superheroes, feel free to send me a message. You can send an email to chumpoficechest at gmail.com🎙 00:19:23.891–00:19:45.331
  • or you can send a message. I do prefer this system because I get to hear your lovely voice. type.com slash Trump and beef chest. Leave a message. Do you believe your favorite superheroes have buttholes? Would you like those buttholes examined because let’s face it at C. McBe🎙 00:19:45.331–00:20:04.332
  • Podcasts, I am more than happy to take a deep look into your favorite superheroes butts.

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RRR

The #bollywood movie RRR helped me define what I am looking for in films, and a lot of stuff out there is really lacking by comparison.

  • I had planned on talking about this maybe two months ago, but then the whole COVID thing happened and then I went to Canada and I ended up taking a month off. I have spent, I don’t evangelize many things.🎙 00:00:00.000–00:00:27.560
  • I, okay, let’s be honest, I’ve had an afternoon come. cocktail. So my normally fairly well planned out and yet still somehow messy podcast is going to be messy and planned out, but I’m going to ignore that because of my afternoon🎙 00:00:27.560–00:00:43.523
  • cocktail. Why did I do that? I don’t know. New Jersey, Japan this morning was a bit rushed. I don’t know why I had a steak and a rum and coke. That was my lunch. Oh, and some kimchi because I’m a very international kind of person. But🎙 00:00:43.523–00:01:01.483
  • None of that matters because I’m here to talk about a Bollywood movie. And again, I’ve been evangelizing this film for months now. Basically, if you are a close friend of mine, I have insisted that you watch it.🎙 00:01:01.899–00:01:19.899
  • And probably if you’re a close friend of mine, you’re like, Peter, I’ve heard you talk about movies in the past. You watch a lot of dog shit primarily to analyze why it is dog shit. Like I’ll watch 70s Kung Fu movies.🎙 00:01:19.899–00:01:33.939
  • and look at like what they can and cannot do. I will look at cheap films and think about like did they achieve what they wanted to achieve? Did they do the thing they wanted to set out to do? I like to watch movies, even bad ones. I don’t necessarily watch the bad ones because I find🎙 00:01:34.005–00:01:50.485
  • them amusing. I want to watch the bad ones because I’m like this is a failure. What made it a failure? There is a Netflix movie with Ryan Reynolds. I think it’s Underground 6. There’s Underground number.🎙 00:01:50.485–00:02:22.805
  • It is to me the single worst film ever made and it’s because they had the money They had the talent they had the ability they had the time they had everything they needed to make a good movie and yet somehow fucked up every step the🎙 00:02:07.382–00:02:24.462
  • Michael Bay Camera work it does look good but It does not help this movie the throwaway lines and characters and lack of depth Ruins the film because you don’t feel connected to anyone in the film by the end of it. I think if I was going to run a movie,🎙 00:02:25.222–00:02:45.297
  • like a media film study class, one of the first movies we would watch is Underground 6, so that we could analyze all the things that went wrong with Underground 6. So that if you were to make your movie, you would not make those same mistakes. So for a lot of the bad movies I watch,🎙 00:02:46.017–00:03:04.657
  • it’s analytical. And I enjoy the analysis. It’s not necessarily that I enjoy the film. I enjoy the analysis. that I get to do while watching the film. So I watch a lot of movies that no one else would watch.🎙 00:03:04.657–00:03:15.505
  • This takes me out into strange paths. I recently watched a movie that happens at Taipei, so a Chinese film. It’s a zombie movie called The Sadness. And it was cheap, but gross. And the thing is, it was, the gross doesn’t bother me.🎙 00:03:15.505–00:03:33.185
  • Often I’ll quite enjoy gross, like Ricky O, The Story of Ricky, is one of my favorite films because the grossness is humorous in this. It was just gross and it was almost like gore porn and it did nothing for me.🎙 00:03:33.185–00:03:48.642
  • There’s a horror movie called The Hostile. Plot wise, it’s a very good movie. The gore porn held there within actually diminishes the film itself. It makes it less of an enjoyable film. There is a limit.🎙 00:03:48.642–00:04:01.682
  • I actually think implied gore, implied violence, implied things are more effective because your imagination fills it in and makes it more powerful. That said, we’re here to talk about one of the greatest films that was ever made.🎙 00:04:01.682–00:04:34.142
  • It is a film from Bollywood and I don’t watch a lot of Bollywood films because I don’t enjoy the dancing song sort of bits But they have these over Overly dramatic action scenes that are super fake and they’re not fun. They’re funny as clips on the internet almost like his gifts🎙 00:04:15.264–00:04:31.684
  • But they’re not funny as films. So I don’t tend to watch that many RRR rise roar revolt So I’m gonna refer to it as triple R for the rest of the podcast because that’s what I’ve been calling it It’s just easy to hear🎙 00:04:32.604–00:05:03.904
  • to say than RRR because the R sound is too hard to say three times in a row and the title itself is too long. Triple R is one of the greatest movie going experiences I have had in years. It is pure enjoyment and adulation and I’m not sarcastic. So what I was going🎙 00:04:46.121–00:05:08.121
  • to say before my alcohol riddle brain kicked in was like I’ve made every close friend I know watched this and they’ve all been hesitant at the beginning because they think Oh Peter is trying to force a bad shitty🎙 00:05:08.121–00:05:47.161
  • weird, Bollywood film on me, I don’t want to watch it. And then I have to explain to them, no, I sincerely enjoy this film and I sincerely think you will too. Every single person who’s watched it, who’s come back afterwards, has said to me,🎙 00:05:20.586–00:05:33.386
  • this is one of the greatest movies they’ve ever seen. This is one of the most enjoyable films they’ve seen in years. This is a fun movie experience. And so the analytical part of my brain would not let it go. I’ve seen the movie in total🎙 00:05:33.386–00:05:46.866
  • three times now. I’ve watched parts multiple times. I’ve had very set complaints about media in recent years. And one of those complaints is that every character, this actually started sort of the mid,🎙 00:05:46.866–00:06:00.909
  • sort of early 2000s, mid 2000s in video games. And it was primarily that men didn’t seem to be capable of writing women characters as strong women. Because what they did was they took every female character🎙 00:06:00.909–00:06:14.909
  • and they made them sarcastic and kind of mean and bitchy. And these were supposed to be the tough, strong women. And this is how they showed it was by making them be really awful every time someone spoke🎙 00:06:14.909–00:06:26.372
  • to them. I know strong women and they don’t talk like that. They just talk like normal people. In fact, strong characters tend to be poorly written overall. The strongest, most powerful, confident men and women I’ve met are super chill because🎙 00:06:26.372–00:06:46.092
  • they can be because things don’t threaten them because, you know, stuff comes at them and they’re like, I can handle this because I’m a strong, capable human. being male or female. The strongest dudes I know have this quiet confidence and it just🎙 00:06:46.092–00:07:03.475
  • exudes from them and it makes you not want to mess with them. The boisterous ones are the ones I was like, ah, you just get him all riled up and he won’t be able to do things properly. You get him all riled up and he won’t be able to be effective. So I have a🎙 00:07:03.475–00:07:19.195
  • very direct idea of what a strong man is. So the writing of these characters. is problematic because I think the writers are not the character. I actually did an old Velocipod cast maybe three, four years ago and it was how that writers struggle to write🎙 00:07:19.195–00:07:35.498
  • geniuses because the writer themselves is not a genius. So they’ll create a situation, create a solution and then have the genius figure it out or they’ll imply genius without actually demonstrating any sort of genius attributes because they can’t come up with themselves🎙 00:07:35.498–00:07:48.538
  • because they’re not a genius. So that’s problematic. I think that also falls into the saying that they are probably not strong. confident men or women. Therefore, they struggle to write strong, confident men or women effectively.🎙 00:07:48.538–00:08:03.376
  • So they just make them sarcastic. They always have something to say back. The strongest, most confident men I know, you say something to them and they would just look at you and go, that response is so belittling. It’s just like almost like your attack on them isn’t worth their🎙 00:08:03.376–00:08:18.896
  • time. And so I’ve struggled with in recent media, everyone is shitty and no one supports each other. So you have like a military. unit and everyone in the unit is Addy Chasar’s throats, but that’s going to be an ineffective🎙 00:08:18.896–00:08:34.116
  • military unit. They’re not going to come together and solve a problem. A truly effective unit of any sort is going to be a group of people that likes and supports each other. Yes, there can be some ribbing, but the ribbing would primarily come from one or two characters,🎙 00:08:34.116–00:08:49.036
  • not all of them. And I think that is maybe where the first mistake is made. Making every character sarcastic and shitty means that there is no such thing as not sarcastic and shitty. means there is no love behind the teasing or jibing or anything like that.🎙 00:08:49.036–00:09:04.552
  • So there’s a sincere lack of positivity in modern characterization of lead characters because they wanted to be strong. Therefore they write them as kind of shitty assholes. This is sort of the Rick and Morty Rick paradox where Rick is the bad guy.🎙 00:09:04.552–00:09:23.032
  • He’s broken. But because he always has as a quip, he always has something he can say back to people. He always has a sarcastic remark. People admire that and they want to aspire towards that where he is.🎙 00:09:23.032–00:09:59.352
  • for all intents and purposes, the bad guy of that show. He’s broken. He’s trying to get his shit together and he can’t actually do it. Whereas if you have a character come in and they’re soft and quiet and yet still strong and weirdly I’m thinking, Birdman, that’s the good guy. That’s🎙 00:09:33.195–00:09:50.715
  • the strong character and we need to emulate that. We need to see more of that. We don’t see that in Western media. So Bollywood being a different culture has a whole different take on this. And that’s why it was so refreshing for me as a Western viewer.🎙 00:09:50.715–00:10:04.555
  • The two main characters, now the thing is the first problem is they actually have to end up like having three or four names throughout the film because there’s their real name, there’s their cover name, then there’s kind of their like nickname.🎙 00:10:04.181–00:10:18.181
  • So I’m going to call one of them beam because I think that’s his real name and the other one the Raj, which I actually think is short form of Raj something else. I watched it in Tamil. It was it was Hindi over dubbed in Tamil with.🎙 00:10:18.181–00:10:34.181
  • subtitles. So there was a lot of maybe subtleties or confusion and like names and stuff like that. Because they start out, they’re both kind of undercover. So they’re using fake names and then they switch names part way through. And then they introduce what they’re🎙 00:10:34.681–00:10:45.761
  • full names. And then I kind of got lost with the name. So I have the names, it’s beam and Raj. These two men love each other like no two men have ever loved each other in the past. Now it’s a bromance. It’s it’s a purely platonic love. And this is something that’s🎙 00:10:45.761–00:11:02.561
  • also problematic because platonic love, sincere love between two is something that’s very difficult to depict on the screen. Because there’s a weird thing now where all love has a sexual undertone.🎙 00:11:02.561–00:11:19.376
  • And we’ve lost the idea of platonic love as a real thing that happens. And it’s probably because of toxic masculinity. It’s probably because men have trouble showing it. But these two men, there is a friendship montage.🎙 00:11:21.056–00:11:36.416
  • So they meet each other, they hang out for a bit. And the friendship montage is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, but it’s because it’s pure, magical, unadulterated joy. There’s part of it is, Beam gets radged up on his shoulders🎙 00:11:36.416–00:11:50.265
  • and starts doing squats. They start doing chin ups. They’re just exercising together. They’re running out in fields. They go to return a goat to a shepherd, but then the shepherd starts chasing them away🎙 00:11:50.265–00:12:00.425
  • for attacking the goat and they run away, laughing and having a good time. One is very modern. It’s a dichotomy. He’s actually from a tribe out in the forest, but he’s the one he f- fixes motorcycles and rides motorcycles where Raj is the modern man and he’s undercover🎙 00:12:00.425–00:12:18.568
  • as a police officer and yet he’s the one who rides a horse. So they kind of put all this stuff together but it’s the yin-yang aspect where they like the opposite things in every moment but at the same time they compliment each other.🎙 00:12:18.568–00:12:33.608
  • Which is, I would say it’s very difficult to do but RRR did it so well and so quickly. They establish that these guys love each other and then one scene for some reason really stands out where beam walks up to Raj and goes like what are you doing?🎙 00:12:33.608–00:12:47.168
  • I’m writing a letter to… my girlfriend. He’s like, Oh, you have a girlfriend. She must be wonderful. And he’s super supportive. He never says a shitty thing. And I think it’s been years and years and years that I’ve seen a film🎙 00:12:47.168–00:13:00.542
  • where a character walks up to a character and talks about a love relationship or any kind of relationship and doesn’t say something shitty. And so just this like, Oh my God, you’re amazing. Your girlfriend also must be amazing. She’s lucky to have you. You’re lucky to have her. I hope this🎙 00:13:00.542–00:13:16.062
  • is the best relationship that ever happens. And then Raj is helping beam. Like with how to hit on another girl, how to how I like set up a situation where he could actually spend time with and talk to another girl and it’s beautiful.🎙 00:13:16.062–00:13:29.269
  • Because it’s completely self sacrificial. I will spend my time. I will spend my energy. I will help you achieve your goal. And this leads us to the very first dance off in the film. So there’s a couple of songs and all the songs are good. They slap.🎙 00:13:29.269–00:13:45.269
  • There’s a thematic thing that repeats that I’m going to talk about in a minute. But they do a dance off and it’s beam and Raj versus all the white people. And the white people do not get a good take it.🎙 00:13:45.269–00:14:13.269
  • this but it’s awesome. It is so disparaging of the British and their occupation of India but it is so fictional that it’s awesome. Like I would put on a British accent just so I could go in there and get beat up or shot by Raj or beam or whatever. It doesn’t matter. I would have loved🎙 00:13:55.059–00:14:12.739
  • to be the bad guy in this movie just so I could be in and amongst this story but they do this dance-off and the dance-off the woman that beam is in love with is watching and then it gets down to all the white guys have fallen to the side.🎙 00:14:12.739–00:14:40.979
  • They just can’t keep up. Beaman Raj are doing the final two person dance off. And what does Raj do? He sees that the girl that Beam likes is watching, she’s watching Beaman wants him to win. So he fakes losing, even though maybe he could have win, he probably could have because he’s🎙 00:14:27.357–00:14:43.017
  • kind of more, he’s more of the physically capable character in many ways. He’s presented that way. To the point where, and then he falls and then that means, Beam gets to win. So he sacrifices his loss.🎙 00:14:43.017–00:14:57.397
  • He takes a loss so that his friend can win just so his friend can look good in front of his girl It’s just awesome, and it’s just such a beautiful thing and that becomes the crux of the story because🎙 00:14:57.391–00:15:10.031
  • their goals For the most part of the film are antithetical Raj is trying to catch beam. He doesn’t know it’s beam yet beam is trying to kidnap or re-kidnap So a little girl is kidnapped at the beginning film beam is trying to get her back🎙 00:15:10.031–00:15:25.191
  • So it’s like an undoing of a kidnapping and then Raj’s task to stop him Raj has an ulterior motion that, but he has to complete this task to achieve his ulterior motive. And this becomes the conflict between the two characters because they both need to achieve🎙 00:15:25.191–00:15:42.752
  • their goals, their greater goals, goals bigger than themselves. But how can they achieve their goals? Are their goals worth achieving if they have to portray the only, like their best friend, the only person in this world they truly love in a pure and kind way?🎙 00:15:42.752–00:15:57.872
  • I mean, you can say that the love relationships between the men and the women are pure at their entire spirit. I don’t believe it. I think it’s uh, these the the the man love here is the purest You could ever see on film🎙 00:15:57.872–00:16:09.231
  • So that’s the bromance and it’s all very positive and then you get to the there’s there’s the music which I mentioned before so i’m going to talk about it now the music is exquisite It’s but it’s also thematically connected because the first half of the film it’s a three hour film by the way🎙 00:16:09.391–00:16:27.711
  • So if you’re gonna sit down you really want to plan this out The first half of the film they’re seeing this song about what happens when these two guys meet opposites, they have opposite goals. The line that stuck out to me the most is🎙 00:16:27.791–00:16:40.321
  • what happens when a volcano meets a storm. Surely this can only end a betrayal. Surely this can only end in violence. And it’s setting up the second part of the film where do they betray each other? Do they end up fighting each🎙 00:16:40.321–00:16:54.301
  • other? And it’s amazing because the movie is planned out so well that the song is leading you to the like inevitable conflict. It’s predicting it and that makes the inevitable conflict even that more powerful because you know it’s🎙 00:16:54.301–00:17:09.181
  • coming because the song has been telling you it’s been coming. the whole time. The themes throughout. So beam is represented by water and Raj is represented by fire. So again, there are opposites but complementary. There’s a🎙 00:17:09.181–00:17:23.543
  • scene where I showed it to my friend and he goes, why are these guys walking underwater to shake hands? So they’re underwater, they’re shaking hands, but a tanker from a train that is caught on fire has sunk down in the background. So🎙 00:17:23.543–00:17:36.543
  • it’s actually the moment when fire and water come together, the fire is in the water. It’s coming up from the gas. flames in the background, but they’re underwater and they come together in Shaeh Kansan. This is showing the connection between the characters is🎙 00:17:36.543–00:17:48.791
  • inevitable and it is the greatest thing. And that thematic consistency is throughout the film. So anytime you get a really you know strong shot of Raj there’s probably fire in the background or his that the screen is encircled in🎙 00:17:48.791–00:18:03.071
  • fire and then when they have battles and stuff there’s water around beam or he’s very wet and sweaty and then there’s one where he smashes a fountain in the fountain that’s fountain spraying behind him. This is also when you get to one of🎙 00:18:03.071–00:18:14.591
  • the bigger action scenes of the film. Now, one thing I have complained about primarily like superhero movies is the inconsistency of powers. So powers in, let’s say the Marvel universe, it’s very hard to tell what a character can🎙 00:18:14.591–00:18:31.708
  • and can’t do. So Thor and the Hulk are the ones that come to mind first because in one moment, they will be able to do something in the next scene, like five minutes later, they’re not able to do something that’s actually much easier than the thing they did previously.🎙 00:18:31.708–00:18:45.948
  • And then at the end of the movie, when it’s necessary, they can do something. something. And that actually really bothers me because well, I should have a sense of danger because I know that Thor or I know that Hulk isn’t strong enough to do this thing.🎙 00:18:45.948–00:18:57.360
  • Boobies are actually making it so that they have whatever power they need at the time for dramatic purposes. But actually that needs to be established at the beginning what they can and cannot do. And either they overcome it and succeed or they, you know, do something to achieve🎙 00:18:58.560–00:19:13.920
  • the goal, which is beyond their powers. It was the Star Wars Obi-Wan TV show where most of the show he has very basic. He hasn’t been using the force. He has very basic, very limited force capabilities.🎙 00:19:13.920–00:19:30.012
  • But then in the very last one where he fights Darth Vader, he suddenly lifts up a bunch of rocks. And I’m like, that really took me out in the moment because I’m like, I don’t think he should be able to do that🎙 00:19:30.012–00:19:38.812
  • just because he hasn’t been able to do anything even close to that. That is like a double 10 times stronger than he was 15 minutes ago or every other episode of the show. R-R does the exact same thing.🎙 00:19:38.812–00:19:51.492
  • Triple R does the exact. same thing and that their power is whatever they need to be in the moment. But why is it in this movie it’s okay? And I realized that this movie is the cumulation of all Kung Fu films mixed with Bollywood.🎙 00:19:51.492–00:20:07.716
  • Because it’s so open and honest about what it is, because it’s so clearly gold towards one thing, they have to be able to do whatever they need to be able to do in the moment because all we really care about is that they look cool or look interesting or it looks funny or it looks fun.🎙 00:20:07.716–00:20:23.416
  • They’ve proven these guys are strong. but they haven’t made them super superhuman strong and yet they have kind of established it. Beam at the beginning catches a tiger in um like a trap and he’s holding two ropes together to🎙 00:20:23.416–00:20:35.922
  • catch the tiger. He’s physically stronger than the tiger which is an impossibility. The tiger is probably like six, seven, ten times stronger than a human being. This would have been very easy for the tiger to get out of. There’s a scene probably one of my favorite scenes where Beam catches a🎙 00:20:35.922–00:20:49.042
  • motorcycle, picks it up and then hits two guys with it and you would honestly go why is he able to suddenly pick up a motorcycle and it’s a And it’d be literally the answer to me would be because he needs to do that in that moment🎙 00:20:49.042–00:21:00.355
  • to be able to do that scene. So there’s a sincerity to the silliness they’re willing to engage with. And because that’s consistent throughout the movie, they’re super powered and then normal people and then super powered and then normal people, they just are capable of doing🎙 00:21:00.355–00:21:17.155
  • whatever they have to do no matter what. But it’s to the singular goal of entertainment, whereas in a movie like any of the Marvel film or any of the… Star Wars movies where they’re trying to set up a narrative as being a serious thing,🎙 00:21:17.155–00:21:31.116
  • it now doesn’t make sense because it’s not serious if suddenly my power multiplies by ten when I just happened to need it and it’s convenient for the plot. But I think maybe more than anything else, honestly anything else was this may be cultural🎙 00:21:31.116–00:21:46.356
  • is that by the end of the film, throughout the film, I could never guess what was going to happen next. And maybe that to me was the best part. I was consistently surprised by whatever was going to happen.🎙 00:21:46.356–00:21:59.716
  • So it could have been serious, it could have been silly. It could have been dramatic. It could have been entertainment. Just just pure entertainment. I couldn’t guess what was coming next because they mixed everything in so well.🎙 00:21:59.716–00:22:09.350
  • So I didn’t I honestly by the end of the film could not tell if they were actually going to end up in conflict I kind of knew they were gonna end up being friends and resolve that issue because that’s the best way to end a film🎙 00:22:10.030–00:22:21.190
  • It’s a happy film. So it’s going to end on a positive note So the only way to end on a positive note is everything works out in the end and all the British die because the end of any good Story all the British die, but I think maybe the last part I need to mention🎙 00:22:21.190–00:22:34.510
  • is that this is perhaps the first film in my entire life. So I’m 50. I’ve watched movies, tons and tons of movies. This is maybe the first time I’ve actually ever watched a film and thought, why did these men still have their shirts on?🎙 00:22:34.492–00:22:47.992
  • They’re doing fights, they’re doing action scenes, take their shirts off. I’m all for gratuitous sexuality, for, you know, have tight pants and women wearing bikinis and stuff. But these guys were so awesome. I just wanted more of them.🎙 00:22:47.992–00:23:04.572
  • and the clothes were just getting in the way. So there’s a couple scenes, but it seems very early on, they do some high candy and it’s great. Like even as again, a heterosexual male, I had feelings and I was like,🎙 00:23:04.595–00:23:15.835
  • God damn, Raj should never have a shirt on and beams looking pretty good too. And they do another nice thing. Raj is completely, you know, smooth and beam has a lot of hair on his chest. So they even got like one for each sort of taste.🎙 00:23:15.835–00:23:27.075
  • No matter what you like, it’s in there for you. So I am sincerely recommending to anyone who listens to Seamik Bee. If you have three hours and Netflix because it’s on Netflix. I know that but if you have to type pirate it,🎙 00:23:27.075–00:23:39.189
  • it’s hard. It’s hard to find a copy without with English subtitles. But if there’s any way, spend some time and try to get a copy of Triple R and just sit down for three hours and watch it. I guarantee you’re gonna have one of the🎙 00:23:39.189–00:23:53.389
  • best experiences. Cinematically, you’ve had in years and years and years because of the purity of the emotion held therein, which a lot of movies, because I think maybe they’re done to committee or there’s too many people involved. They lose🎙 00:23:53.389–00:24:06.829
  • some of that purity of emotion. that we’re seeing again like Avengers films and Star Wars films. Those are supposed to be emotional stories but quite often things happen you’re like, well, I mean they got 50 characters on screen, who cares?🎙 00:24:06.829–00:24:19.488
  • You should absolutely try to get this film sit down and watch it. I’ve recommended to everyone, I recommend it to you. And I think if you stand and watch it, you’ll realize that I’ve just done you one of the biggest favors you’ll have had of this year.🎙 00:24:19.488–00:24:32.288