Speed Dating with MrWarmHands

  • Look at that. Hey, like and subscribe. Drive time radio. I would love to do some drive time radio. Wob, wob, wob, wob, wob, wah. That’s right, Peter, Peter and the, the, the, the warm and the chunk.🎙 00:00:00.000–00:00:14.780
  • All way to work. The warm, the warm chunk is down your ear. I was just about to say, feel the warm chunks on your prime time drive. There’s to be somewhere disgusting there, like on your person. Feel the warm chunks wash all over you.🎙 00:00:14.780–00:00:32.420
  • Yeah, Do they have? Drive time radio in England. They must yeah, yeah So is it the same is it the same like cheesy bullshit they make fun of it? It’s less Now than it was why I actually haven’t listened to it. So it might be exactly the same, but it was not ridiculous🎙 00:00:32.420–00:00:48.246
  • Ridiculous North America, but it was getting less when I left This is essentially a new segment on the podcast and it is going to be you and I having conversations and we thought it would be a good idea to🎙 00:00:48.246–00:01:17.961
  • introduce ourselves. So we found some you look, you suggested speed dating questions and then I they were all dog shit. So I went and found some other ones. You went and found some other ones. That’s a matter of opinion.🎙 00:01:17.961–00:01:31.601
  • Yeah my opinion. Sometimes opinions are wrong. Well sometimes they’re right. But I found a list and the first it has subsections the first subsection is creative. funny questions to ask. Now, here’s the most creative funny question because it’s number one on the list.🎙 00:01:31.601–00:01:52.994
  • What’s the weirdest movie you’ve ever seen? Which does not seem particularly weird or creative. No. That is a general theme with all of these questions. No matter what adjective you put before, like, question, they’re all the same questions.🎙 00:01:52.994–00:02:06.994
  • And they’re all super vanilla. I have realized, maybe, that the world is so bland. That it’s like, I was trying to imagine someone like, ah shit, I gotta go to a party. I’ve never been to a party before because I’m a loser and lonely.🎙 00:02:06.994–00:02:23.994
  • And I’m going to my first… I gotta be really charming. Okay, I’m online now. This is gonna be great. Okay. What’s oh, what’s the weirdest movie you’ve ever seen? I never would have thought of asking that question. Oh my god. No one’s ever asked me that before and then just like blowing🎙 00:02:23.994–00:02:37.632
  • The mind. Okay, would you like number two? We’re not gonna answer these? No, no. What was the first question again? I forgot that’s how good it was. Yeah, what was it? What’s the weirdest movie you’ve ever seen?🎙 00:02:37.632–00:02:47.252
  • The weirdest movie I’ve ever seen and I’ll stand by this. I’m sure there’s weirder ones. Pie by Darren Aronoski. The first ones. Lion in the boat, the tiger in a boat? No, no, no. That’s life of pie. Oh, this is this is mathematical pie.🎙 00:02:47.252–00:03:05.252
  • I don’t think I’ve seen that. It’s all in black and white and it’s just bizarre. Like I can’t even… really describe it. A mathematician kind of thinks he hears the voice of God through numbers. Yeah, it’s… Nothing weird about that. Yeah, I think it’s his best movie. Like, I tried to🎙 00:03:05.252–00:03:26.392
  • people gush about the other one, the drugs one, with Heath Ledger. The drugs one. Yeah, because it’s all about drugs. Like, I know what it’s called. People do love their drug movies. But I didn’t… Well, this one’s not like… Like, um, what’s the Matthew McConney? Like,🎙 00:03:26.392–00:03:42.792
  • he’d be like, cool if you did that one. I don’t know. It’s all about dope and being like a high schooler. Oh, I actually think I know what you mean. days and confused. Yeah, people love that movie. I because it’s but it’s not like that this that🎙 00:03:42.792–00:03:59.097
  • money is all about masturbation. It’s no because so there’s people who do drugs make media about doing drugs. Like the people who smoke marijuana everything they do events write a book or something about marijuana. I’ve also found that there’s authors and they write there’s two more categories🎙 00:03:59.097–00:04:15.657
  • that works is authors who write books about authors and then movie creators so a director let’s say who makes a movie about making a movie and I’m like you’re just you’re just jerking yourself off at this point.🎙 00:04:15.657–00:04:29.253
  • Okay, a bit too meta for you. Well, it’s, but it’s not. It’s actually so direct line. Just self indulgence. Yeah, it’s like, if it was meta, it would be like unrelated to your life somehow, but this is like, oh, I’m going to say how hard it is🎙 00:04:29.253–00:04:44.973
  • to be an auteur because I consider myself an auteur. Okay. I’m going to talk about the trials and tribulations of being a movie director and how hard it is and no one understands it. No, no, no.🎙 00:04:44.973–00:05:16.213
  • And then he’s doing that as he’s pulling his pants down. Oh, God. No one understands me. I’m going to make a movie about how hard it. Yeah. No, that’s just, that’s, I hate that. So my first question to you, my, my potential future life partner,🎙 00:04:58.141–00:05:15.101
  • what’s your spirit animal? A raccoon. OK, elaborate. No, I think I’ve told you this. No, I’d like to. No, I’ve finished. Fuck off. That would be the best speed dating. Answer the question and then just go, no.🎙 00:05:16.501–00:05:34.911
  • I will not explain it. I’m not that’s it. Look, the timer went off. It’s time to switch questions. Hey, you didn’t say it. You had to, what is it? You have to fucking interpret it yourself. There’s no way I can explain this to you.🎙 00:05:34.911–00:05:44.951
  • I had the experience in university. I got wicked, wicked drunk. And I think we were drinking on the university golf course. And I do believe I tried to put my penis in a golf hole. I think you could just say bull for a second.🎙 00:05:44.951–00:05:59.151
  • I was like, no, no. I think I basically tried to have sex with a guy. of course. And then on the walk home and you know that like seven hour drinking session walk? Like you are going so slow. You can you struggle to to move and pulling your legs.🎙 00:05:59.151–00:06:21.157
  • Yeah, your your basis is so I so I’m still on the university campus and the one I went to was huge. Like it was like a 15 20 minute walk across campus and that’s not including like extra stuff. So in the middle I was just like I.🎙 00:06:21.157–00:06:32.677
  • I gotta sit down and I, there was, this is the potential of where you fall asleep. When I sat down and I was just like, doing that drunk breathing like, oh, oh. I think that you’re breathing right now.🎙 00:06:32.977–00:06:44.257
  • Yeah. Oh, it wasn’t. Okay. It wasn’t picking up. I was doing that drunk breathing like dead silence. Like, oh, she’s dead. But I do know people that drunk breathe like that. There’s two, there’s two kinds of drunk breathing.🎙 00:06:44.257–00:06:56.897
  • There’s, I’m so exhausted because my body’s still processing alcohol and it shouldn’t be. And I’m about to throw up. Because I was on the train because it’s deep. Oh, it’s yeah, because they do deep breaths when they’re trying to stave it off.🎙 00:06:56.897–00:07:10.988
  • But then when your body like sort of is ramping up to it, I was on the train and there was these cute drunk guys gone on the train and they had just they gone out buying shoes and then got drunk, which is a weird combination.🎙 00:07:10.988–00:07:20.828
  • And then one guy started doing the, and I’m like, oh, he’s going to puke. He’s going to puke. And then I was like, he’s going to puke somewhere on the train. We’re not making it to like the door open.🎙 00:07:20.828–00:07:30.068
  • He puked into the bag where his new shoes were. And these were sneaker heads. This is like clearly what they had done that day specifically was to go out and buy shoes. Imagine how much money those sneakers probably cause.🎙 00:07:30.068–00:07:43.627
  • Easily, yeah, cause you know, if you’re a sneaker fan, you’re buying 120 bucks is the minimum. Minimum. That’s like fucking nothing, yeah. Yeah. So anyways, I was doing that exhausted drunk breathing🎙 00:07:43.627–00:07:56.987
  • and just like trying to regain enough energy so that I could actually make it to my dorm or I think I lived in a dorm at that time. This is all after humping the golf course. Oh, that had to be peak drunk.🎙 00:07:56.987–00:08:08.507
  • Okay. Pre or post. You were out on the top of the… but the mountain of drunkenness. Yeah, no, no, I think the only way I would try to have sex with a golf course is when I was like, this is a great idea.🎙 00:08:08.507–00:08:18.996
  • And then like 10 minutes before or 10 minutes later, you realize it’s not a good idea. Yeah. So how far after the next week? This would have been been an hour or two hours later. An hour, okay. Because the walk’s gonna be 30 minutes.🎙 00:08:18.996–00:08:32.076
  • Okay, you were like just barreling down into the valley of fear. Yeah, my body is shutting down. And so I was sitting on this stair. and a raccoon came up and sat down next to me and started looking at me and I was drunk enough to realize that🎙 00:08:32.076–00:08:48.814
  • It’s a wild animal, but I shouldn’t touch it and then I started talking to it I was like this is again. This is drunk logic. I was like I’ll tell it my problems And like my my my wishes and desires in life and I talked for like in my head🎙 00:08:49.294–00:09:03.914
  • It was like ten minutes. I think it might have been like five to ten minutes And then and then two hours it could have been two hours, but it did sit there I don’t think that wild animals gonna sit there for two hours and then🎙 00:09:03.914–00:09:14.054
  • I mean it wasn’t really well, so this is this is actually the second part is so I so I tell him all my problems and he listens Yeah, now everyone’s like you do this thing to you. I was like no. No. I’m not saying he understood🎙 00:09:14.187–00:09:27.047
  • he listened and Then the raccoon got up and touched me on the shoulder and went away No, no, I was sitting on the I was sitting on the ground. I’m sitting on basically stairs going down somewhere They just gotta fun its hind legs got how unlike and put his little paws on my shoulder and kind of like🎙 00:09:27.707–00:09:47.227
  • and then left. Yeah, basically. And like, everyone’s like, that didn’t happen. So I was like, no, no, I’m not saying like, it understood or it meant something. I’m saying, this is what happened.🎙 00:09:47.994–00:09:57.914
  • Even in my drunk state of mind, I’m like, that’s not like him talking to me. And people really, really doubt that story, which I find weird. And then I went home and I, and. And you were like, I’m drunk, not a fucking lunatic.🎙 00:09:57.914–00:10:09.114
  • Yeah. Yeah. So that was, that was my spirit animal. Yeah, you realize right there and then that you were connected to me. I’m connected to raccoons. At some level with the raccoons. Yeah. I was gonna say with spirits, which is the whole other.🎙 00:10:09.114–00:10:25.061
  • I’m tempted to just do my list, but I should go through the list and find the good ones. But creative, funny questions to ask. What’s that question? No, I don’t know. I’m gonna I’m gonna read text missing.🎙 00:10:25.061–00:10:38.181
  • I’m gonna read it to reiterate the title so that people know how bad these questions are. Ritten, who wrote this? I’m now going to find out it’s actually yourself. Nataline Mejia sucks. Okay. Oh, sorry.🎙 00:10:39.381–00:10:53.301
  • Creative, funny questions to ask. Number two, what’s a pizza topping? most people hate, but you secretly love. And I would tack onto that. Why are you keeping this a secret? Yeah, why, what? Who are you?🎙 00:10:53.301–00:11:07.142
  • I don’t think that’s a question. There’s like a guilty pleasure kind of thing, which I don’t agree with as a concept. Yes. I don’t, yeah, I think, I think a guilty, who gives a fuck? Yep. If you like something like it.🎙 00:11:07.142–00:11:21.382
  • Yep, people go, you just go, you’re a shallow minded bull bag. We’re gonna have to come up with a list of things that we use on the podcast. I have run into people judging my food, and now I take great offense at it,🎙 00:11:21.382–00:11:39.934
  • and it’s Japanese people. Because eating in the staff room at work, I would go by lunch, and then I used to be addicted to caffeine really badly, so I used to have a Coke every day. And then I bought sushi and a Coke,🎙 00:11:39.934–00:11:54.854
  • and my Japanese coworker was like, you can’t eat those together. Continental sin. And I was just looking early going. Yes, I can. She’s like, well, no, no, but they don’t go together. And I’m like, well, if I put them both in my mouth, they do.🎙 00:11:54.854–00:12:08.919
  • Yeah. The argument was just like, this is what I want. This is what I want to eat. So fuck off. And she got super judgmental. I was like, I was like, what is it about Coke that doesn’t match? And she’s like, well, you should drink tea.🎙 00:12:08.919–00:12:20.559
  • I’m like, but you people drink beer. She’s like, oh, beer’s okay. I’m like, well, why is beer okay? And not this? She was like, well, this is- It’s carbonated. Yeah, but she was like, this is traditional.🎙 00:12:20.559–00:12:27.839
  • I’m like, beer’s only been in Japan. Like eight weeks, what are you talking about? Like, so I got, I now get really, really pissy about that. I know. a fan of that. What would you say is the weirdest food or the most unusual food🎙 00:12:27.839–00:12:44.553
  • you like? The most unusual food. Yeah, because the secret part is the part I actually disagree with. I don’t know. Do you take a hard stance on any food? No, not really. Yeah, me too. I’ll try anything once. I figure you should eat🎙 00:12:44.553–00:13:01.213
  • what you like. Yeah, just eat what you like and it’s not weird. Like, I mean, again, I think as a middle-aged, white, western man, I should look at the world and think pretty much anything that any other country eats is weird.🎙 00:13:01.213–00:13:28.233
  • Yeah. But I think it’s great, you know. I’m happy that the world develops all kinds of different things to eat. And I want to go around and experience it. Yeah. Yeah. Food is the best. Food’s amazing, man.🎙 00:13:17.734–00:13:35.294
  • Have you ever tried something that was just absolutely horrendous? Uh, yeah. I tried like a Chinese duck head. Uh, things with faces I struggle with. Well, it was like… kind of it’s weird because I think you’re supposed to eat the brain but the texture🎙 00:13:35.294–00:13:53.313
  • was gross and then I just like sucked on the beak a bit and was like I mean I’m glad I tried it but never again yeah yeah I because that’s I don’t like Natto which is a very common thing but it’s not even a taste or the smell for🎙 00:13:53.313–00:14:08.693
  • me it’s actually the texture yep same yeah I actually find I can deal with the taste is actually kind of nice like I like it it’s okay that texture just like the like it gets to like the back of my throat I’ve realized I don’t like🎙 00:14:08.693–00:14:22.093
  • anything slimy it just feels like a massive booger in your mouth, to me. So my image though, because when they mix it and then they like lift it up and put it down and it’s like the strings they’re expanding and contracting the strings.🎙 00:14:22.093–00:14:36.012
  • I always think of like an alien, their mouths ooze, clearly. I was like, an alien baby birding you. That’s how I think of what I think of that though, which is why I can’t eat it anymore. You can eat it, yep.🎙 00:14:36.012–00:14:50.072
  • Okay. All right, my next question. Yep. What’s expensive but worth it? It’s actually a lot of things. Shoes? Yeah. I mean, you should pay more for shoes because you walk way more than you think.🎙 00:14:50.072–00:15:11.074
  • Wow, you sound like my mum. Well, you should buy good shoes and a good bed because if you’re not in one, you’re in the other. Oh, actually that’s pretty good advice. Yeah. Shoes is pretty good advice.🎙 00:15:11.074–00:15:23.314
  • Especially if you’re anything where you walk or stand a lot. You need good shoes. Because it affects your back, it affects your, like, shoes are important. I know people who buy cheap shoes and they’re falling apart during the day🎙 00:15:23.314–00:15:34.659
  • and they’re like, dude, you look like an idiot. And then by default, I have to buy expensive shoes because of size on feet. Look here in Japan, I know. Yeah. So how do you get shoes? Because I order from England.🎙 00:15:34.659–00:15:48.219
  • Yeah, online. Sometimes they get lucky in stores and they have sneakers discounted because they’ve randomly got big size on soon. But it’s pretty rare. Because I buy solo ver, which is the original makers of Doc Martens.🎙 00:15:49.619–00:16:20.219
  • the Doc Martin company got bought out and then they started making their shoes. So these are more Doc Martin than modern Doc Martens, which is interesting. Say Doc Martin again. Doc Martin. And again?🎙 00:16:05.354–00:16:17.674
  • Doc Martin. And again. Doc Martin. No, say it twice. Doc Martin, Doc Martin. I love it. Why? Never stop. I don’t know. There’s like a weird like glottal stop between your Doc. Ah, that is the North American flap T because I don’t actually say T sounds.🎙 00:16:17.674–00:16:33.354
  • Yeah. I don’t know. I just, it’s sexy to be. It’s also my name. Doc Martin. Doc Martin, Doc Martin, Doc Martin. Doc Martin. Doc Martin, I should go to the Irish with it. You’re going to get her some Doc Martin.🎙 00:16:33.354–00:16:50.307
  • What? The card? The card? No, I don’t know what the fuck I’m just talking. Cling on now. I’ve also, I hold on. That’s what Cling on is. It’s a super strong Irish accent. I would go more expensive.🎙 00:16:50.307–00:17:07.907
  • So I bought a cheap microphone. Like, it depends what you’re doing. So things you use all the time, it’s better to buy a better quality. So I had a microphone when I started the podcast and I got a cheap one.🎙 00:17:07.907–00:17:19.221
  • And then it wasn’t really designed for the computer and this and that. And I was like, and it had problems. Whereas as soon as I bought the mic, I’m using now the hyper X solo cast. Should you want to sponsor the show?🎙 00:17:19.541–00:17:29.601
  • Zero problems since. So like that just saved me trying to like, Oh, I’ll try to take that sound out in post or I’ll try to do this. And I was just like, no, I just record it and I go now, which is amazing.🎙 00:17:32.021–00:17:42.001
  • So like if you’re on the computer as much as you and I. You should buy mid-tier computer parts. I actually think high-end is usually ripping you off. I mean, but you and I both become fans of Razer.🎙 00:17:42.001–00:17:56.797
  • Yeah, and I think Razer is mid to high, but I don’t buy the high-end stuff. I buy their mid stuff, and it’s great. Yeah, I’m really happy with what they provide. I actually think you should not go cheap on most things because the problem is it all wears out and explodes on you when you’re not ready.🎙 00:17:57.197–00:18:14.897
  • I’m looking around my room going like, no, everything’s… I don’t I don’t I don’t spend extra money, but I’ll spend money on trying to get a good one Like for example, I love listening to music right and I buy🎙 00:18:14.897–00:18:27.486
  • reasonably like expensive headphones for like for me like family man. Yeah, I don’t have massive amount of Expendable income, but I like to buy nice headphones. Hmm Yeah, it always just lasts like a year to 18 months and then all of like the🎙 00:18:28.206–00:18:46.406
  • The fabric covering on like the cushioning starts to come off. I And then they slowly just disintegrate Yeah, and it doesn’t seem to matter how much I spend I Would what kind do you getting like overhead? Yeah overhead? Yeah, it’s a cans because I I was buying headphones🎙 00:18:47.006–00:19:04.796
  • Yeah, a pair every year and I was slowly creeping up in price and I was like I’m still I’m spending like five thousand yen and still it’s only lasting a year and then I got the bows Bluetooth Headphones that are I spent like three years now. Maybe more and they’re not like disintegrating🎙 00:19:04.996–00:19:21.676
  • The pads Dave to them. So I, but I went online and just replaced them. Yeah. So it was just the pads. It’s not like the issues. I thought the battery was dying, but I think just the charging thing I was🎙 00:19:21.676–00:19:34.963
  • using wasn’t very good. So the batteries find like three years later, the batteries still find everything. Yeah, I love those. But they’re expensive. They’ve cheering them. They never know. Centigrade. No, I think it’s because they use better🎙 00:19:34.963–00:19:45.203
  • materials. I think because I’m buying like look like I spent like 12, 12,000 yen on my headphones this time, which is not cheap, but it’s all. So not high end. Yeah. And I think they’re just still cutting back on costs in the fabric.🎙 00:19:45.203–00:20:01.822
  • So maybe I’ll just buy some. I’m going to try buying slightly more expensive ones next time. Because these these the most ones I have, they’re like 25,000. Yeah, it was my birthday present for my wife.🎙 00:20:01.822–00:20:14.362
  • I think they’re more than that. I maybe she got him at Costco though. Oh, OK. Because yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen both or anything under three. Oh, she she didn’t pay that much. I guarantee. But the guarantee.🎙 00:20:14.722–00:20:27.148
  • No, no, no, no, no, because… Shh. No, no, no, no, because I was looking at them and like, ah, I think I might buy these. I think I might buy these. But I was thinking of buying them because they were at Costco and they were like 25,000🎙 00:20:27.148–00:20:40.068
  • yet. But again, now that’s three years, one or two more years and they’ve paid themselves off. I would have spent that much on replacing other ones anyways. Yeah, every year. So that’s what I want.🎙 00:20:40.068–00:20:52.708
  • I don’t want to keep replacing them. Yeah. So… I finished. I’m satisfied with your answer. I’ll be fine. Alright. Wow. Oh yeah. Cool. Alright. Cool. Yeah. Alright. Finished. I’m satisfied with your answer.🎙 00:20:52.708–00:21:09.468
  • Oh, good. Alright. Wow. Alright. Cool. Oh yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. More people to see, come on. Oh, okay. I’ve gone a shit. We really fucked up speed dating, man. Fun icebreaker questions is a separate list.🎙 00:21:09.468–00:21:12.135
  • Oh, yeah. So I thought this was- Oh, is that your question? No, no, I’m just trying to give you the content so that we can make fun of how about these questions? I’m not insulating at the end. Fun icebreaker questions is a separate list.🎙 00:21:12.135–00:21:22.375
  • I’m Canadian. Okay. The Canadian question is something you should start researching because you’re not gonna be able to communicate. If you want, I’ll start doing the fun. Icebreaker questions, eh?🎙 00:21:22.375–00:21:33.055
  • haha Okay? because that’s the problem is because they say a as an I said starting a list there and then the next would be be yeah so the the name of this list is fun icebreaker questions the first one is🎙 00:21:33.055–00:21:46.587
  • one of the least fun icebreaker questions I’ve ever seen so I want to do the first two okay because the first one’s not going anywhere I can pretty much guarantee are there any interesting things your name spells with the letters🎙 00:21:46.587–00:21:59.007
  • rearranged my head I take no I know my first response was no no to me or you. No, no, is there anything my name spells with the letters rearranged that’s interesting? You’re thinking about your name?🎙 00:21:59.007–00:22:18.641
  • Yeah. The answer’s no. Who are you asking yourself? I’m asking you now. Oh, okay. I guess ATM. That’s it. Other than that, yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely dog shit. Who wrote the real short shit names?🎙 00:22:18.641–00:22:34.121
  • Who wrote the short shit names? I can’t think of many people whose names were. Heather Harper, get your shit together. Occupational psychologist from the University of Manchester. clearly a wasted degree. If you think that is a fun icebreaker question, you are a boring, sad🎙 00:22:34.121–00:22:49.085
  • individual. I really hope you don’t see this in your feelings. The second question though, in the fun icebreaker questions, if you are a potato, what way would you like to be cooked? Actually, maybe influenced by living in this country, but I’d like to be dropped in a deep fat🎙 00:22:49.085–00:23:07.485
  • fryer hole. So, my… Okay, really? I don’t know, just because I live here and people say, like, fried potato and now I… I think that’s hilarious. Mm-hmm. It’s like, because who else is gonna say that?🎙 00:23:07.485–00:23:23.916
  • Yeah, just drop me in a deep breath, right, a hole. Don’t cut me nothing. Maybe my problem is I’m too literal. You asked me that question I immediately went, I would rather not be cooked, because it’s like murder.🎙 00:23:23.916–00:23:33.316
  • I would rather be left in the ground to live my life as a happy potato. I think both of us basically give answers that women would go, oh. Oh, for fuck sake. Oh, for fuck sake. Fuck sake. Yeah.🎙 00:23:34.356–00:23:48.356
  • Oh. This game is shitty, but it does. You’re fucking wise. Let’s just drop. me in whole what the fuck you on about oh leave you in the ground yeah you fucking troglodyte get away from okay so any way you prepare potato you have to skin it🎙 00:23:48.356–00:24:02.443
  • I do not want to be skinned and then you like slice it up I’m like no I don’t want to be dismembered and then you deep fry it well hopefully by that time I’m dead but see I think a potato if it had a consciousness yes would not exist🎙 00:24:02.443–00:24:15.363
  • within the particular confines of the potato I think it would be like whoa attached above so it would be experiencing it even post-death well I don’t think it would feel pain I think it just experiences things.🎙 00:24:15.363–00:24:31.615
  • So when the potato is cut up, is it then split consciousness? Or is it one consciousness now spread out amongst several? Because let’s say you cut the potato in half and I give you half the potato🎙 00:24:31.615–00:24:41.735
  • and you go back to Fukushima. Does the potato, is it aware of where the plant is? It’s now quantied. The entangled. But it’s separated, yes. It’s separated and quantied me entangled. So if I wanple my potato and punch it,🎙 00:24:41.735–00:24:55.415
  • then maybe your one will just start wobbling. And brought back violently too. Have you ever read about starfish? And you cut the starfish in half and then you separate? and you wiggle one arm, because they grow back, yeah?🎙 00:24:55.415–00:25:11.082
  • But you wiggle one arm. How do they? Like sponges. Yeah, I think if you cut, I think you have to be careful. I think you could kill them. Oh, wait, because they grow back. Yeah, yeah, they grow like, so if you can cut one in half,🎙 00:25:11.082–00:25:22.082
  • you’ll get two starfish, eventually. Oh, that’s cool. But if you wiggle one, you wiggle one leg, the other leg will move, supposedly. I don’t know if that’s true. That’s the thing I read. I mean, yeah, scientists on an off day.🎙 00:25:22.082–00:25:35.722
  • It’s internet information, so I’m always a bit weary. But what are you saying about sponges? Like sponges, you can blend up two or three of them in a cup and just leave it to sit at the contents afterwards.🎙 00:25:35.722–00:25:48.682
  • and they will separate into their the three original parts and reform really? Yep, yeah, sponges are metal as fuck. Yeah, they know. That’s actually pretty cool. Yeah, that’s terrifying. It’s also terrifying, like if they become sentient and decide to take over🎙 00:25:48.633–00:26:08.553
  • or someone harnesses that technology. Yeah. That power because yeah, you can blend them. And they will reform. That’s what. Yeah. Anyway, let’s move on before my mind. Your drips out my nose. I just realized we’re actually doing the Joe Rogan experience.🎙 00:26:09.353–00:26:42.553
  • Oh, are we? Yeah, we’ve got to talk about apes now. Oh, do we? So he has a couple of… It’s how apes are crazy and evolutionary, and then he talks about ayahuasca or some drug or microdosing, and then he talks about MMA.🎙 00:26:29.804–00:26:48.284
  • That’s the formula. But we’re really close to bordering that right now. I mean, not really. It was just a side topic. Yeah, we got to do it for two and a half hours. And then we’re doing the drill broken.🎙 00:26:48.284–00:27:00.604
  • I think your turn. Yes, I did. I did. I did. I did. Yeah. Your turn. Yeah. Okay. What title would you give your biography? I’ve just ruined this be dating because I can’t answer. Yeah. It’s a biography. I’m writing it.🎙 00:27:00.604–00:27:23.261
  • It’s not. It’s an autobiography or it’s a biography written by someone else. And I’m titling it. That’s already confusing. I’m a bit pedantic for these questions. I would not do well speed dating.🎙 00:27:23.261–00:27:54.261
  • Yeah, sit the parameters. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Come on. Let me know. I need to know. If it’s an autobiography, then I would naturally make fun of myself. If someone else wrote it, they might be more complimentary or derogatory.🎙 00:27:34.369–00:27:51.489
  • I would say something relatively serious and then make fun of it. So it would be chunk McBeef chest, a life in dire straits. Sort of. I’d make something. stupidly long title that was actually off-putting it so that it didn’t sell.🎙 00:27:51.489–00:28:10.393
  • I can’t, yeah, that’s really hard because I’d have to actually, I think you’d have to go through and get the stories and is there a common theme other than just I’m in it, like struggle or something and then you’d pull the title from that.🎙 00:28:13.593–00:28:27.753
  • I think I called my Matt Gibson from G to Ibsen. That’s actually pretty good. That’s snappy because you came up with Seamik. I was like chunk of each s let’s add 10 more words to make it so that people never can search for it🎙 00:28:29.513–00:28:46.933
  • And you’re like no, I was like no it has to be simple has to be simple I always do this wrong has to be simple and then you were like just don’t say the whole fucking word now I was way better. I Never would have thought of that I see me when I struggle. I always start adding🎙 00:28:47.273–00:29:02.653
  • And making fun. Yeah, but making fun of the other thing. I just did Yeah Alright, I like you go sure if you wrote an autobiography we do would you be complimentary to yourself do you think I I know my my my last sentence would be like at the end at the🎙 00:29:03.233–00:29:25.247
  • end of the day he was a piece of shit yeah my might be at least he tried yeah at least he tried is pretty good I don’t know I think I’d be generally complimentary I think I’d just be honest and then within that honesty I’d🎙 00:29:25.247–00:29:43.747
  • probably be a little brutal so yeah I don’t know. Ah, there you go. So now we’re making better questions. You got some? No, there was my phone telling me to work out. Okay. Because normally I do.🎙 00:29:43.747–00:30:01.466
  • Um, I had a question there and it’s gone now. But we’re making better questions, right? Well no, I immediately started thinking of better questions. Like, like, yeah, summarize your autobiography or the final line or something would be a🎙 00:30:01.466–00:30:14.646
  • slightly better. I see your embarrassing list has the funniest thing you’ve done while drunk. But I think you’ve already answered that. Oh, I’m sure I’ve done worse. Yeah. Trying to have sex with an entire golf course is pretty epic though.🎙 00:30:14.646–00:30:28.218
  • And then like speak to a raccoon like it’s my dad. You’re a dad not my dad. I’d be way more open with your dad than I would be with my dad. Yeah, yeah. So this is the second. So these are broken up into bits which I quite like.🎙 00:30:28.218–00:30:45.258
  • So this is we’re back to what’s her face. Nataline. This is her second set of questions, is embarrassingly funny questions to ask. But I mean… In fact, we are more fun. Then these aren’t bad if Heather sucks🎙 00:30:45.258–00:30:59.650
  • Maybe that’s on her list. Do you suck at us? Email me Do you have an embarrassing nickname? What’s the funniest thing you’ve done? Yeah, what’s the funniest thing you’ve done? Well, drunk is pretty good. What’s that? Well, we you could do yours now. What’s the funniest thing you’ve done? Well drunk or just I mean I can’t know🎙 00:31:02.290–00:31:19.090
  • I’m literally can’t say for legal reasons. How about embarrassing nickname do that? I’ve never had people give me a nickname Unfortunately, I have. Oh, really? What do you think? All right, so I guess this kind of ties into being drunk.🎙 00:31:19.090–00:31:35.939
  • It was all drunk with my friends while we were too young. And we kind of drank a lot and then fell asleep in my friend’s garage. It’s the best place to fall asleep. Yeah. And I start having a very vocal dream.🎙 00:31:35.939–00:31:55.699
  • Oh, wow. Yeah, well, I was telling Mr. Magoo, the detective mole, to get on with the case. Oh, wow. And if he needed anything to come back and see me. So you were like the chief? Yeah, I was like the chief for Mr. Magoo,🎙 00:31:56.819–00:32:11.139
  • the detective mole. My friends, this is before. Account. Cell phones or anything right yeah, so there’s no video evidence. I’m so glad I grew up in that fucking day I can I just say oh no no me too because fuck me I🎙 00:32:11.139–00:32:24.776
  • I don’t think I would have been anything anymore Yeah, I don’t think I would have been like is I either I would be like a tik-tok star because I’d done so much dumb shit Or yeah, I would be a social pariah🎙 00:32:26.316–00:32:36.236
  • There’s no in between though like you don’t get in between it’s either You’re awesome because you do this stuff or everyone’s I can hate you because you do this There’s no there’s no middle ground. So what was the nickname that came up it though?🎙 00:32:37.256–00:32:48.127
  • Yeah, mr. Magoo. Oh, just mr. Magoo. Yeah, so then my friends just called me Magoo forever And I I kind of hated it, but I so don’t mind it. I I had some weird ones of my friends. It was Julio Smolio🎙 00:32:48.447–00:33:02.407
  • Carlito spoon toe staco one eye Jesus and captain Huh? Captain’s all right. Yeah, is any because his dick was always wet. That’s all right. All right, yeah. Make sure you mark this as adult.🎙 00:33:03.247–00:33:31.400
  • I mean, it always has been. I mean, the last episode probably was me talking about with the astronaut, like the gun. That’s on here. That’s on here number 12. What’s the best, uh, no, no, no, no.🎙 00:33:31.400–00:33:45.000
  • What’s, what’s, where’s the meme on? Oh I mean, I did see that on the previous one. What’s the most obscure meme? Yeah, what’s your favorite kind of obscure meme? I struggle with what a meme is though.🎙 00:33:45.000–00:33:55.341
  • It’s a picture. I know, I know. It’s a picture. But then like everything’s a meme now, I think. Everything’s a meme now, yeah. So like what’s your favorite thing on the internet? Yeah, basically the internet is for memes.🎙 00:33:56.341–00:34:12.141
  • That song has now changed from porn to memes. Mm-hmm. The internet is for… Awkward funny questions to ask. The first one is very awkward. Oh yeah? Do you like standing up or something? I don’t know if I want to know.🎙 00:34:12.141–00:34:26.020
  • Really? Go on, answer. Me, I bidet, this shit out of myself. But you don’t wipe at all. Oh no, no, no, no, it’s still wet, so you got to wipe. And then you got to check you got it all. But I am usually just pat drying, basically.🎙 00:34:26.020–00:34:40.300
  • But it sits down. Yeah, because you’re not standing up getting bideted, right? No, no. The bidet in my house is so powerful. I actually have to go into the next room or it will shoot me into the next room as the people.🎙 00:34:41.220–00:34:51.940
  • I want to grip onto the walls. I’m gripping the door. And I’m just trying my hardest to stay in position so that I don’t get blown into the other room. Biday is like the best thing in the world. And so like you do have to like check that you got it all🎙 00:34:51.940–00:35:09.258
  • and dry yourself. You don’t want like a sopping wet butt before you pull your pants up. That’s gross. I don’t like it. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Honestly. I just, I neither want it to go inside me.🎙 00:35:09.258–00:35:25.718
  • Just whoa. I see you. Nothing at all. I don’t know. Like maybe we’ve opened up a whole lot of years. You can like really stretch your butt cheeks apart and get it up there. It comes out your nose.🎙 00:35:25.718–00:35:36.986
  • I have a really runny nose today. I don’t know. Me too. I have been dating too hard. Yeah, yeah, God. It just went all the way through. It got up into my sinuses, but I mean, I’m starting to breathe really well now🎙 00:35:36.986–00:35:49.746
  • since I’ve been bedaying. Like while we’ve been talking. Yeah, actually this chair. What is this? The blouse hood. It’s just pumping right in. Yeah, I actually just have like a rose. I know it’s yeah.🎙 00:35:49.746–00:36:04.401
  • It’s not even bidet anymore. Have you ever been enemod? No. OK. I kind of want to, though. I want to get a coffee. I had to, oh, that’s too much for me. I had the enemod, but I think I’ve told that story🎙 00:36:04.401–00:36:18.121
  • like a million times. Yes. Awkward funny. Yes, that is actually awkward to start with. Have you ever blamed a fart on someone else? Constantly. I have children. Yeah, it was literally the reason I had children. I didn’t have children. I get a dog🎙 00:36:18.121–00:36:34.468
  • I mean, I’ve only heard Dave fart once and I’ve I blame him for every fart in the house He’s got some of the worst there they are he he’s really quiet. He’s goes like but I fart and he starts barking🎙 00:36:34.468–00:36:47.268
  • and then He was like what the fuck is that and then the The other night I was editing a video and he was barking in the background of the video and he started barking at him barking It was like this weird inception🎙 00:36:48.548–00:37:02.228
  • Hmm, oh this list now, I’m gonna ask you some of them. Okay I can see him because my list is basically done. I think most of them are not crap Would you rather pee every time you laugh or shot every time you sneeze?🎙 00:37:02.228–00:37:16.036
  • I Would choose the shart only because I laugh a lot more than I sneeze. Yeah, I would go the same logic man But is the shark this again? I can’t do I can’t answer the question without setting the parameter🎙 00:37:17.076–00:37:30.956
  • So I understand it fully like when they say shart is it like you fart in a tiny bit of poop comes out Or you like literally shit yourself the entire time Yeah, yeah, I guess. Because if it’s like a massive, like, I sneeze and then I like blow my pants off because I’ve🎙 00:37:30.956–00:37:44.869
  • shat so much, that’s a problem. And then P, is it like a little P or a lot? Because if it’s just like a tiny, like… If it’s P though, you could wear an adult diaper and just get a cutie day. Or wear a tampon.🎙 00:37:44.869–00:37:59.109
  • No, tampon. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take the tampon and just stretch it over the top of your penis. You’d have to be like rock hard all day to keep it on though. See, I went the other way. Oh, stick it in there.🎙 00:37:59.109–00:38:12.509
  • Okay. I actually, I did condom covering. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think… I feel as if it’d be a better… Oh god. This is literally just a question of poly… That’s what I meant. No, no, no. We just…🎙 00:38:12.509–00:38:27.046
  • You need volume before you can answer that question. If I laugh and a drop of P comes out, I wouldn’t even notice. If I sneeze and I like poo is running down my leg, I would notice. Yeah. I might sneeze some more.🎙 00:38:27.046–00:38:45.046
  • Awkward text you once sent to the… wrong person. We were in an office chat and I was complaining about my co-worker and because we were complaining about my co-worker I’d clicked on her name. I was literally just sending her🎙 00:38:45.046–00:38:56.723
  • the shit I was unhappy about. And she’s sitting across from me just reading the chat. She knows this is not going to her. And I’m just like, are you sure you’re not getting these messages? She’s such a f***ing… And then about about 10 messages in I realized what I’d done. And then I was like,🎙 00:38:56.723–00:39:13.043
  • look, okay, I was like, I was like, okay, I can save it. I was like, okay, done venting. I really have a serious conversation about, you know… and just adjusting attitude. And everything was fine.🎙 00:39:13.043–00:39:23.963
  • Uh, yeah. She never had a problem ever again. Yeah, she quit that year. No, it wasn’t better for all of us. Yeah. Okay. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever smelled? Oh, cause you know you’ve smelled stuff🎙 00:39:23.963–00:39:40.443
  • and it makes you like choke vomit. I’m trying to think though. Cause I feel like regular answers, the stuff like other vomit poop. Yeah, cause I pick up. I pick up dog shit and so every now and then you get a really strong dog shit you oh🎙 00:39:40.443–00:39:57.036
  • You get one of those I don’t know. I’m kind of immune to it. Oh now. I’m just saying like Sometimes yeah, it’s pretty rare now, but it has happened like I remember when I was a kid And I had to like clean up the yard🎙 00:39:57.656–00:40:10.056
  • It was just like ten things of dog shit and it was like number eight was fine and then number nine You’re like oh, oh, oh, oh, like I don’t know what happened that day, but I Yeah, and like vomit. I’m okay with🎙 00:40:10.056–00:40:22.036
  • I’m alright with my family’s vomit. I think knowing where it came from. This is also you’ve had kids know Your relationship to poop and vomit changes when you have a baby. It so does. Because I basically poop doesn’t bug me anymore at all.🎙 00:40:22.036–00:40:37.549
  • I’ve had it all over my hands. Yeah, under my fingernails. I remember the first time I got under my fingernails. I was like, oh, I did the third time. He just like, oh, yeah, I got to clean that.🎙 00:40:37.549–00:40:47.549
  • Some mushrooms smell really bad. You know I love mushrooms. Yes. Now everyone else does too. Some of them smell. Whoo! Deepish funny questions. We’ve actually done 40 minutes. We’ll do a little more.🎙 00:40:47.549–00:41:03.549
  • Oh, holy shit, really? Yeah, it goes pretty fast. How long would you survive? Seriously though? How long do you think you would survive in his zombie apocalypse? I think I would survive reasonably well because I know how to survive in the wild.🎙 00:41:03.549–00:41:20.990
  • Oh okay. I was a very good boy scout. Very good. My dad was in the forces. He always took his out in the wilderness. He taught me how to catch his skin rabbits, how to fish and cook. This is Joe Rogan.🎙 00:41:21.710–00:41:48.190
  • Yeah, okay. He’s a big bow hunter. Oh, okay. I listened to Joe Rogan before he went completely off the rails. For like two years he was really good. And then I still only listened to the people I was interested in, but because they are🎙 00:41:41.289–00:41:58.109
  • like two, three hours long. Then he just got like his podcast and Conan O’Brien got into they stopped being interviewers and now it’s just a platform for them to speak. Just, okay. He talks more than the guests sometimes where it used to be he was like, I understand I🎙 00:41:58.109–00:42:14.029
  • don’t know as much as you do. So I’m going to ask you questions. And then by interviewing lots of people he thinks he’s related knowledge. Yes. But he was an anti-vaxxer and shit. So. Which makes me think he’s a fucking one.🎙 00:42:14.029–00:42:27.106
  • I sell something I talk about a lot actually though because like my family never want to go camping the way I want to go camping. Yeah they don’t understand. Like I mean I want us to have fun camping but I kind of want to teach them how to do🎙 00:42:27.106–00:42:41.946
  • stuff. How to do stuff. Yeah. Yeah. How to be like I don’t have this thing and then how to make it or do it or get it. So I think I do alright. How about you? I think over confidence would be my downfall.🎙 00:42:41.946–00:43:00.346
  • If It’s okay. I can’t see and that’s always going to be the problem if I lose my glasses my glasses break or my eyes deteriorate Oh shit. I’m fucked. Yeah Because I actually had a friend said like in a post-apocalyptic world🎙 00:43:00.346–00:43:16.152
  • Peter would do really well if you could get his hands on things Because I know I can kill stuff with my hands really really well But I have to but then if you think about the process of getting something in your hands. I can’t do it🎙 00:43:17.032–00:43:28.672
  • No, and it’s risky. Yeah, and there’s zombies around so zombies. I Actually think I think I would think I’m gonna do good and then get fucked pretty early on. I think I’d be one of the zombies pretty fast because I probably try to fight🎙 00:43:28.672–00:43:42.661
  • them in some premise. Yeah, maybe even like to be noble. Yeah, but seriously, I probably would. And then zombies get up and then there’s yeah. And then another one bites me from behind because I’ve never fought like eight guys at the same time. So I think my overconfidence🎙 00:43:42.661–00:43:57.501
  • would be my downfall. And so actually, I think I would do really well. And then I would die in the second or third day with confidence. I would die with confidence. you could come and stay with me.🎙 00:43:57.501–00:44:10.938
  • Oh, yay. So you can trap stuff and then I’ll kill it with my hands. Nice. Ah, we keep them around. Number six, let’s do number six and then we’ll finish. Okay. Yeah. Oh, shit. This is the same.🎙 00:44:10.938–00:44:27.738
  • I, okay. So the question is what funny saying would be written on your tombstone to describe your life, the life you lived. I again, I’m going to ruin the question. So you go first. On my tombstone.🎙 00:44:27.738–00:44:59.418
  • I think I think uh, no, I want to have some kind of pun and now I can’t think of anything That one that went anything boring like like here lies Loving father and husband better fuck that shit maybe just something like like🎙 00:44:41.451–00:44:58.731
  • Like inhale. It’s always a heavy battle party I Don’t want a tombstone. I kind of want to be for don’t want a tombstone either Yeah, I don’t want to be buried and have like a specific place that people feel like they have to come to🎙 00:44:59.451–00:45:14.411
  • Creamate and throw it away. Yeah, like, but if I read me with a new tree, oh, that’s nice. Yeah, something if I had a tombstone. I Would want to have some side a gimmick on it like says something relatively serious, but it has a flap you can lift up🎙 00:45:14.411–00:45:29.638
  • Or like an LED screen. So but no, no, but something something’s like I actually weirdly would want to make it interactive Like oh wait, there’s something you can do and then it’s like ends up or make a gamer🎙 00:45:30.578–00:45:39.898
  • Like I don’t know I would want to make it so that it looks really boring But if you take the time to look at it, there’s something really cool there. So like one of those sliding puzzle things. Oh yeah, like that or a door and then🎙 00:45:39.898–00:45:52.673
  • door like a door you open the door. Yeah, something. I think that that’s that actually sums me up. Like I would I would want looking on the outside but but if you go in there, got some shit, it’s great.🎙 00:45:53.313–00:46:08.673
  • Right. Okay, yes, we will stop there. So I’m in the stream. Yeah, now you know all about us. You know exactly what kind of people we are. And then from this point forward, we’ll do topics. We made some topics.🎙 00:46:08.673–00:46:40.433
  • Yeah. We would appreciate more. Yeah. If anyone’s listening, anyone, anyone, please help me. Send some time. Send topics. Yeah. That’s like, send nudes. But send topic. Send nudes. No, let’s not take that off the table.🎙 00:46:24.141–00:46:44.381
  • Send nudes. Men or women, I’m just, I just want to be, I just want to say I got nudes. Yeah. I don’t even want to look at them. That’s what I say I got. If you’re a raccoon, listening. Send nudes. You have to fuck an animal. Go.🎙 00:46:44.381–00:47:01.735
  • Three, two, you can’t, you’re taking too long already. No, open. Oh. Same answer. Yeah. So mate. Okay. That’s a perfect place to stop. Alright, God. You

Fantastic Poops

  • Music CMcB is an examination and so what I like to do is to sort of find a topic and issue and get deeper into it and what we’re going to get deeper into today is superhero butt holes. You might not have thought that’s where that sentence was going but that’s why.🎙 00:00:00.000–00:00:30.600
  • You see me? be as always a magical rainbow of joy, because you’ll never know what’s coming at the end of any sentence, poop. See? And this was weird because we, I started talking to some friends about the Fantastic Four,🎙 00:00:30.600–00:00:47.631
  • which is a comic I never read, and I actually know very little about the Fantastic Four, except for the characters therein, who they are. I used to read Spider-Man, the comics, and the Fantastic Four lived in the same city.🎙 00:00:47.631–00:01:02.751
  • and there was only one I remember and it’s because Spider-Man encountered a space fire oriented hero, anti-hero, and he couldn’t beat him. And so it was a three comic arc where Spider-Man was running away🎙 00:01:02.738–00:01:20.098
  • from this, I think it was Fire Star, but the idea was that he needed to not engage with him so that Fire Star wouldn’t hurt innocent civilians and he tried to get them to this area. He lured him into a building and then collapsed the building, but it didn’t🎙 00:01:21.218–00:01:38.103
  • kill him and he knew he’d just like power level wise he couldn’t beat him. And then in a final act of desperation, Spider-Man just like literally just starts physically punching him beating the shit out of him. Firestar never having actually been punched in the face before🎙 00:01:38.103–00:01:54.083
  • couldn’t take it. And Spider-Man puts him down and then the fantastic four show up. So I think it’s some earlier point he’d called them for help. That’s that’s all I know about the fantastic four is their kind of friends with Spider-Man.🎙 00:01:54.083–00:02:04.643
  • man. I mean, that’s that’s literally it. So there’s the thing. Now, the thing is covered in rocks. Now, I don’t know much about that. I think he has like enhanced strength. I don’t know if it’s because of the rocks. That’s that’s actually a question, but he’s very tough exterior because🎙 00:02:04.641–00:02:25.041
  • his exterior is now covered in orange rocks. I don’t know what those orange rocks are made of. He’s not happy about his life. I know that that he doesn’t want to be covered in rocks. And it’s it’s made his life more difficult. And I think.🎙 00:02:25.041–00:02:38.001
  • one of the ways he’s made his life more difficult. And this is what set off this conversation is he has to poop. He still is a human inside. He has to eat and he has to poop. But if I have a dog that I clean up his poop🎙 00:02:37.676–00:02:51.356
  • and you pick up the poop off the rock, it’s usually concrete or cement. We’re on the road, let’s say. It’s very easy to pick up. You don’t wipe. Now there are two possibilities here. One is that.🎙 00:02:51.356–00:03:08.316
  • his butt is covered in pebbles or rocks or something. And that means it’s relatively smooth and the poop would come out without much trouble. So you wouldn’t have to wipe that much. But more logically speaking,🎙 00:03:08.699–00:03:25.459
  • because if you have to squeeze poop out as we all do, he would have to clean up afterwards. Now, this would imply to me that the thing does not wipe. He must bidet. Now, if you’ve ever bideted, it’s not particularly powerful.🎙 00:03:25.459–00:03:42.059
  • It’s designed to be comfortable for a human butthole, but again, this is a human who’s covered in orange rocks, or in this case, maybe smooth pebbles. So I’m wondering if a bidet would be strong enough.🎙 00:03:41.173–00:03:56.013
  • We know the absolute minimum, the thing must bidet. But realistically speaking, to really get sort of all the crevices and whatnot, he probably has to power wash, which would mean either he has a uniquely created bathroom which Mr.🎙 00:03:56.013–00:04:12.613
  • Fantastic could say. He’d set up, he’d been being a genius inventor and scientist. He could create a bidet that was powerful enough to clean up the things but, or he has a jet set up in our special room that’s sort of just like a shower room where he can like🎙 00:04:12.613–00:04:31.736
  • kind of position himself and just set it off. Or he has a very friendly associate who is willing to do this for him and actually just power sprays his butt hole. There is another alternative. There is another possibility is that the things digestive system has been changed.🎙 00:04:31.736–00:05:09.876
  • So again, not knowing enough about the characters. I don’t know what he eats. So maybe he eats rocks and poop dust or pebbles Which would be very easy to clean up then. I don’t know Maybe he eats rock and then with the pressure of🎙 00:04:50.008–00:05:06.848
  • The things powerful digestive system that is now rock oriented Poops diamonds And that is actually a very real possibility So this is something this is something that again and when you watch superhero movies🎙 00:05:07.328–00:05:19.788
  • stuff. You follow your favorite Marvel heroes. Do they poop? How do they poop? So Spider Man is just a kid. He’s gained super powers. He poops completely normally, I assume. Daredevil, just a guy, has like echolocation of sorts. Poops normally. Now the Fantastic🎙 00:05:20.084–00:05:42.644
  • Four also has a character called the Flame. I don’t actually know if that’s his name. I know he has fire based powers. This was interesting because really if you think about it, you are… flame and you poop.🎙 00:05:42.644–00:05:58.138
  • You don’t have to wipe. So he’s in human form. He goes to the toilet and then he just goes, flame on. I know that’s the only thing I know. He says flame on. Flame on and then he would burn any poop particulate away🎙 00:05:58.138–00:06:12.278
  • because it’s outside his body. It doesn’t explain what happens internally which leads me to an interesting secondary question because let’s say the flame gets coronavirus or a flu or something. A fever is designed to kill the…🎙 00:06:12.278–00:06:56.798
  • virus in your body. If he flames on, does that immediately kill all the virus within his body? Is he’s not immune? He can catch it, but he can catch it every single day. Flame on. He’s burned it. He’s killed all the virus in his body because we don’t know anything about his internal temperature🎙 00:06:31.013–00:06:51.933
  • because logically speaking, if his internal temperature gets that high, it should actually like burn his heart. So his heart and all his internal organs must be somehow immune. to this incredibly high temperature.🎙 00:06:51.933–00:07:03.836
  • So it would say to me that he cannot get a fever because his body’s immune to high temperatures, but he does have the ability to flame on, turn his body into a human torch. Oh, it’s the human torch, not flame.🎙 00:07:03.836–00:07:22.396
  • I would like to point out that I did not do a significant amount of research before I did this. You think if I had done any sort of research, I would know the names of the character. factors, which I do not. I did look up one, and it was the laziest name I’ve ever come🎙 00:07:24.156–00:07:39.932
  • across in all of history. But the human torch must be immune internally to high temperatures, which means he can’t get a fever to fight the virus, but he could flame on and then burn it out. I know that there’s an interesting thing if you get syphilis. What you can do🎙 00:07:39.932–00:08:01.332
  • is get malaria, and the fever from the malaria is so hot. it actually kills the syphilis. And then hopefully you survive the malaria. You can go off and get syphilis again. I don’t know why it’s a weird loop. When I learned about🎙 00:08:01.332–00:08:15.970
  • that fact, it was a weird loop that stuck in my head that if you get syphilis, go get malaria and then you can go get syphilis again. You just loop that forever. And no problem. So do all firepower people, people with firepower have this ability? Or there is the second🎙 00:08:15.970–00:08:34.710
  • dairy alternative. that once the virus, if it’s strong enough to get into the human torch’s body, that because he cannot generate a fever physically, that he’s actually really, really susceptible to diseases,🎙 00:08:34.710–00:08:51.728
  • which I would be very surprised by. So that’s something to take into account when you think of the human torch. Then we move on to Mr. Fantastic. No, Mr. Fantastic. Stretchy powers. Let’s look okay in comics.🎙 00:08:51.728–00:09:08.689
  • I’ve actually never been impressed by stretchy as a power. So we have Mr. Fantastic and then the wife from The Incredibles. A Last a Girl, I believe is the name. Again no research done at all before him.🎙 00:09:08.689–00:09:22.689
  • But our poop themed questions. The last of persons, the last of people, Mr. Fantastic has the ability to stretch his body in all kinds of almost magical way. So stretches arms really far stretch really wide and block bullets🎙 00:09:22.689–00:09:42.694
  • Become incredibly flexible. I assume we also become rigid Which almost makes me not want to talk about when mistering fantastic poops He’s able to there’s two choices again. I came up with Able to flex the internal organs and body in such a way that it could come out in an incredibly🎙 00:09:43.414–00:10:07.974
  • fast single powerful move that maybe there’s no wiping needed necessary. No wipes needed. Or, and this was to me the grosser one, could descend to such a degree that the fecal matter would just drop out and no🎙 00:10:07.974–00:10:29.574
  • wiping would be necessary. Once I started thinking about this, this is the problem is once you have the thought, I started thinking about the things poop, wiping, and how problematic that would be. It then led me to extrapolate on every character in that team and then of course expand into🎙 00:10:29.574–00:10:48.202
  • the greater superhero pantheon. I hate stretchy abilities. I actually, as soon as you start thinking about what they can and cannot do, it’s really gross. Everything they do is kind of gross. And I know they’re in planning a new Fantastic Four movie, but stretchy powers just don’t🎙 00:10:48.202–00:11:07.242
  • look cool. And that’s a problem with Mr. Fantastic is even if Mr. Fantastic is. is a cool character, stretchy powers don’t look good. Now we get to the final member of the Fantastic Four, the fourth member, Invisible Woman, which I actually looked up to check, because I🎙 00:11:07.242–00:11:24.457
  • was like invisibility girl or something. It’s Invisible Woman, which is the laziest name. So you have the thing, the human torch, Mr. Fantastic, and Invisible Woman, which is like an afterthought. So I feel really bad calling her Invisible Woman. We need a better name. Even like…🎙 00:11:24.457–00:11:43.897
  • invisibility girl. No, that’s still pretty lazy. I think when you put woman and girl in it, it’s a bit. Yeah, the thing, human torch, Mr. Fantastic. You could have a Mrs. something. That would be better. I feel like the writers dropped it on this one.🎙 00:11:44.188–00:12:04.988
  • So perfectly normal human being can turn invisible. When they poop is the poop invisible. It’s really the question, the only question. We think all the other functions must be normal. You got a YAP.🎙 00:12:06.028–00:12:33.708
  • you got a bidet, you want to do whatever you want. So we actually don’t have to talk about that, which is weirdly good, but I had an extended conversation with my friend, Mr. Warmhands, about would the poop remain invisible🎙 00:12:19.456–00:12:35.496
  • or would as the poop left the body become visible as it left the body if an invisible woman decided to be invisible while she was pooping? Now I realized really quickly. Invisible woman doesn’t have to take off all her clothes to become invisible.🎙 00:12:36.616–00:12:55.558
  • She can wear those clothes, which means that the invisibility isn’t limited to the skin of the person with the power. It’s not the only person to have invisibility powers. But it does mean that it’s a surface level thing that you almost generate a field around🎙 00:12:55.558–00:13:15.198
  • you that creates invisibility. So it’s like I’m wearing my clothes. the bubble goes around my clothes. So I think of it as a bubble that goes around you, that creates invisibility, which would mean🎙 00:13:15.198–00:13:29.219
  • that the poop is invisible until it leaves the bubble. Now that could mean, again, so let’s say, if you just look at the, well, again, you know, in a video, this is a podcast. I can’t talk about it like on video.🎙 00:13:30.119–00:13:41.399
  • But right now I’m wearing a t-shirt and a jacket, and a very light jacket, but it has a hood. Now I don’t want the jacket to be invisible and the hood visible. So, the bubble must encompass everything around me that is in contact with my body completely.🎙 00:13:41.399–00:13:59.281
  • I’m wearing glasses. I don’t want when I go invisible just my glasses are floating in the air. So, anything that’s in contact with my body, which would actually just be the sort of horns in the nose bit, but these edge bits still need to be invisible.🎙 00:13:59.281–00:14:13.001
  • So, the bubble has to be almost aware enough to cover the entirety of my glasses, the entirety of my t-shirt and jacket. I don’t want just a jacket because if it has to be touching my body, t- Technically, my jacket right now, if I’m wearing a long-sleeve shirt, isn’t touching my body,🎙 00:14:13.001–00:14:28.741
  • you would just have a jacket floating in the air. So the bubble, I don’t know if I would be conscious of it as the user or if it’s just an intelligent bubble that covers anything that is on my body, which would mean the poop🎙 00:14:28.741–00:14:42.361
  • remains invisible until it disconnects from the body and in this case falls away. So then it would become suddenly visible when it’s in the air. and no longer connected. So that would be like, I’m invisible🎙 00:14:42.361–00:14:58.098
  • until I take off my jacket and I throw my jacket away. As soon as I let go of my jacket, the jacket would become visible, I think is what we’re talking about in this situation. Now I started extending the pantheon a little bit🎙 00:14:58.098–00:15:10.458
  • and talking about it, thinking about other people. And Superman is the ideal superhero. I find him very boring because of that. Superman technically is powered by the sun. It’s almost like a form of photosynthesis.🎙 00:15:10.458–00:15:26.298
  • Photosynthesis is very… efficient, there is no sort of waste matter connected to photosynthesis. But I have actually never seen Superman eat, like canonically. So does Superman eat? So does Superman have any waste products?🎙 00:15:26.298–00:15:44.267
  • Is actually the first question. There is the possibility that Superman eats, but his body is so efficient, because again, that’s supposed to be sort of a God super level person, that there is no waste matter🎙 00:15:44.267–00:15:59.427
  • every bit gets used. But because the primary source of energy is the sun, it would actually lead us to the question, does Superman have a butthole? Because it’s completely unnecessary. And we also know that when something is unnecessary, generally evolutionary speaking, it sorta🎙 00:15:59.427–00:16:19.314
  • disappears. So Superman, by extension, I believe does not have a butthole. Now, I did watch, I have a comic I read once, and it was Superman. It was sorta to play on the idea that Superman is an alien.🎙 00:16:19.314–00:16:57.754
  • and it was the first time Superman and Lois Lane were going to have a sexual intercourse. And he takes off his shirt, he has the perfect chest and body and Lois Lane’s like, ooh, she takes off some of her clothes and then he takes off his pants and then she reels back in shock🎙 00:16:34.530–00:16:48.770
  • and says, why does it have pincers? And he says in response to grab you because of course Superman is an alien and therefore his genitalia, his physiology is all very different. But we do know that Superman’s species reproduces.🎙 00:16:48.770–00:17:09.463
  • We didn’t don’t know exactly how. We’ve never seen it like a sex scene from Krypton. But because everything else is human-esque, there is an implication that Superman has a penis and could reproduce that way.🎙 00:17:09.463–00:17:21.943
  • So let’s just give him that. But if he’s powered by the sun, there’s actually no reason for him to have a butthole because he doesn’t expel any feces because there’s no feces to expel. I did like the idea, though.🎙 00:17:21.943–00:18:07.503
  • He’s so efficient, he doesn’t poop. So he eats a pizza. Every bit of the pizza is used perfectly within the body system, but then that also would imply that there is no poop. That actually offsets old theory I did🎙 00:17:38.766–00:17:58.406
  • in the old podcast, Velocipodcast, is how does Superman fly? And one of my theories that it was that you’d need something pushing away from the body, a jet stream. which I think would be an extended super fart.🎙 00:17:58.406–00:18:12.549
  • Now, I could just be a single system where Superman opens his mouth or brings Aaron through his nose, goes straight through his body and pushes it out. So it’s not like a stinky fart because it’s not sort of fermenting in the body at all.🎙 00:18:13.749–00:18:27.309
  • But that’s actually how Superman would fly. He pushes himself through the air on a jet stream that comes out his butt. That’s why he flies in that way. Like you always see him. He does float like he hovers like a.🎙 00:18:27.309–00:18:41.709
  • Osprey, but that just means his butt is aimed downward. And he’s always got his legs in a sort of odd position, and that’s to make sure that he can be like, but of course Superman being Superman doesn’t make fart sounds.🎙 00:18:41.622–00:18:55.742
  • It’s just a perfect jet stream shooting down. And then you notice when Superman takes off, there’s always like a away from his feet. Something’s creating that force. No, it’s not a jump. Jumps don’t do that.🎙 00:18:55.742–00:19:11.142
  • There’s just be some sort of jet and that jet, there’s only one thing in that area, and that’s his butt hole. That means the fart actually makes a lot of sense. But then it sort of contravenes what I just talked about where he would have no butthole.🎙 00:19:11.142–00:19:23.891
  • But he could have a butthole just for flying because that is again evolutionary, very useful thing for someone to have. If you would like me to talk about the buttholes of any of your favorite superheroes, feel free to send me a message. You can send an email to chumpoficechest at gmail.com🎙 00:19:23.891–00:19:45.331
  • or you can send a message. I do prefer this system because I get to hear your lovely voice. type.com slash Trump and beef chest. Leave a message. Do you believe your favorite superheroes have buttholes? Would you like those buttholes examined because let’s face it at C. McBe🎙 00:19:45.331–00:20:04.332
  • Podcasts, I am more than happy to take a deep look into your favorite superheroes butts.

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RRR

The #bollywood movie RRR helped me define what I am looking for in films, and a lot of stuff out there is really lacking by comparison.

  • I had planned on talking about this maybe two months ago, but then the whole COVID thing happened and then I went to Canada and I ended up taking a month off. I have spent, I don’t evangelize many things.🎙 00:00:00.000–00:00:27.560
  • I, okay, let’s be honest, I’ve had an afternoon come. cocktail. So my normally fairly well planned out and yet still somehow messy podcast is going to be messy and planned out, but I’m going to ignore that because of my afternoon🎙 00:00:27.560–00:00:43.523
  • cocktail. Why did I do that? I don’t know. New Jersey, Japan this morning was a bit rushed. I don’t know why I had a steak and a rum and coke. That was my lunch. Oh, and some kimchi because I’m a very international kind of person. But🎙 00:00:43.523–00:01:01.483
  • None of that matters because I’m here to talk about a Bollywood movie. And again, I’ve been evangelizing this film for months now. Basically, if you are a close friend of mine, I have insisted that you watch it.🎙 00:01:01.899–00:01:19.899
  • And probably if you’re a close friend of mine, you’re like, Peter, I’ve heard you talk about movies in the past. You watch a lot of dog shit primarily to analyze why it is dog shit. Like I’ll watch 70s Kung Fu movies.🎙 00:01:19.899–00:01:33.939
  • and look at like what they can and cannot do. I will look at cheap films and think about like did they achieve what they wanted to achieve? Did they do the thing they wanted to set out to do? I like to watch movies, even bad ones. I don’t necessarily watch the bad ones because I find🎙 00:01:34.005–00:01:50.485
  • them amusing. I want to watch the bad ones because I’m like this is a failure. What made it a failure? There is a Netflix movie with Ryan Reynolds. I think it’s Underground 6. There’s Underground number.🎙 00:01:50.485–00:02:22.805
  • It is to me the single worst film ever made and it’s because they had the money They had the talent they had the ability they had the time they had everything they needed to make a good movie and yet somehow fucked up every step the🎙 00:02:07.382–00:02:24.462
  • Michael Bay Camera work it does look good but It does not help this movie the throwaway lines and characters and lack of depth Ruins the film because you don’t feel connected to anyone in the film by the end of it. I think if I was going to run a movie,🎙 00:02:25.222–00:02:45.297
  • like a media film study class, one of the first movies we would watch is Underground 6, so that we could analyze all the things that went wrong with Underground 6. So that if you were to make your movie, you would not make those same mistakes. So for a lot of the bad movies I watch,🎙 00:02:46.017–00:03:04.657
  • it’s analytical. And I enjoy the analysis. It’s not necessarily that I enjoy the film. I enjoy the analysis. that I get to do while watching the film. So I watch a lot of movies that no one else would watch.🎙 00:03:04.657–00:03:15.505
  • This takes me out into strange paths. I recently watched a movie that happens at Taipei, so a Chinese film. It’s a zombie movie called The Sadness. And it was cheap, but gross. And the thing is, it was, the gross doesn’t bother me.🎙 00:03:15.505–00:03:33.185
  • Often I’ll quite enjoy gross, like Ricky O, The Story of Ricky, is one of my favorite films because the grossness is humorous in this. It was just gross and it was almost like gore porn and it did nothing for me.🎙 00:03:33.185–00:03:48.642
  • There’s a horror movie called The Hostile. Plot wise, it’s a very good movie. The gore porn held there within actually diminishes the film itself. It makes it less of an enjoyable film. There is a limit.🎙 00:03:48.642–00:04:01.682
  • I actually think implied gore, implied violence, implied things are more effective because your imagination fills it in and makes it more powerful. That said, we’re here to talk about one of the greatest films that was ever made.🎙 00:04:01.682–00:04:34.142
  • It is a film from Bollywood and I don’t watch a lot of Bollywood films because I don’t enjoy the dancing song sort of bits But they have these over Overly dramatic action scenes that are super fake and they’re not fun. They’re funny as clips on the internet almost like his gifts🎙 00:04:15.264–00:04:31.684
  • But they’re not funny as films. So I don’t tend to watch that many RRR rise roar revolt So I’m gonna refer to it as triple R for the rest of the podcast because that’s what I’ve been calling it It’s just easy to hear🎙 00:04:32.604–00:05:03.904
  • to say than RRR because the R sound is too hard to say three times in a row and the title itself is too long. Triple R is one of the greatest movie going experiences I have had in years. It is pure enjoyment and adulation and I’m not sarcastic. So what I was going🎙 00:04:46.121–00:05:08.121
  • to say before my alcohol riddle brain kicked in was like I’ve made every close friend I know watched this and they’ve all been hesitant at the beginning because they think Oh Peter is trying to force a bad shitty🎙 00:05:08.121–00:05:47.161
  • weird, Bollywood film on me, I don’t want to watch it. And then I have to explain to them, no, I sincerely enjoy this film and I sincerely think you will too. Every single person who’s watched it, who’s come back afterwards, has said to me,🎙 00:05:20.586–00:05:33.386
  • this is one of the greatest movies they’ve ever seen. This is one of the most enjoyable films they’ve seen in years. This is a fun movie experience. And so the analytical part of my brain would not let it go. I’ve seen the movie in total🎙 00:05:33.386–00:05:46.866
  • three times now. I’ve watched parts multiple times. I’ve had very set complaints about media in recent years. And one of those complaints is that every character, this actually started sort of the mid,🎙 00:05:46.866–00:06:00.909
  • sort of early 2000s, mid 2000s in video games. And it was primarily that men didn’t seem to be capable of writing women characters as strong women. Because what they did was they took every female character🎙 00:06:00.909–00:06:14.909
  • and they made them sarcastic and kind of mean and bitchy. And these were supposed to be the tough, strong women. And this is how they showed it was by making them be really awful every time someone spoke🎙 00:06:14.909–00:06:26.372
  • to them. I know strong women and they don’t talk like that. They just talk like normal people. In fact, strong characters tend to be poorly written overall. The strongest, most powerful, confident men and women I’ve met are super chill because🎙 00:06:26.372–00:06:46.092
  • they can be because things don’t threaten them because, you know, stuff comes at them and they’re like, I can handle this because I’m a strong, capable human. being male or female. The strongest dudes I know have this quiet confidence and it just🎙 00:06:46.092–00:07:03.475
  • exudes from them and it makes you not want to mess with them. The boisterous ones are the ones I was like, ah, you just get him all riled up and he won’t be able to do things properly. You get him all riled up and he won’t be able to be effective. So I have a🎙 00:07:03.475–00:07:19.195
  • very direct idea of what a strong man is. So the writing of these characters. is problematic because I think the writers are not the character. I actually did an old Velocipod cast maybe three, four years ago and it was how that writers struggle to write🎙 00:07:19.195–00:07:35.498
  • geniuses because the writer themselves is not a genius. So they’ll create a situation, create a solution and then have the genius figure it out or they’ll imply genius without actually demonstrating any sort of genius attributes because they can’t come up with themselves🎙 00:07:35.498–00:07:48.538
  • because they’re not a genius. So that’s problematic. I think that also falls into the saying that they are probably not strong. confident men or women. Therefore, they struggle to write strong, confident men or women effectively.🎙 00:07:48.538–00:08:03.376
  • So they just make them sarcastic. They always have something to say back. The strongest, most confident men I know, you say something to them and they would just look at you and go, that response is so belittling. It’s just like almost like your attack on them isn’t worth their🎙 00:08:03.376–00:08:18.896
  • time. And so I’ve struggled with in recent media, everyone is shitty and no one supports each other. So you have like a military. unit and everyone in the unit is Addy Chasar’s throats, but that’s going to be an ineffective🎙 00:08:18.896–00:08:34.116
  • military unit. They’re not going to come together and solve a problem. A truly effective unit of any sort is going to be a group of people that likes and supports each other. Yes, there can be some ribbing, but the ribbing would primarily come from one or two characters,🎙 00:08:34.116–00:08:49.036
  • not all of them. And I think that is maybe where the first mistake is made. Making every character sarcastic and shitty means that there is no such thing as not sarcastic and shitty. means there is no love behind the teasing or jibing or anything like that.🎙 00:08:49.036–00:09:04.552
  • So there’s a sincere lack of positivity in modern characterization of lead characters because they wanted to be strong. Therefore they write them as kind of shitty assholes. This is sort of the Rick and Morty Rick paradox where Rick is the bad guy.🎙 00:09:04.552–00:09:23.032
  • He’s broken. But because he always has as a quip, he always has something he can say back to people. He always has a sarcastic remark. People admire that and they want to aspire towards that where he is.🎙 00:09:23.032–00:09:59.352
  • for all intents and purposes, the bad guy of that show. He’s broken. He’s trying to get his shit together and he can’t actually do it. Whereas if you have a character come in and they’re soft and quiet and yet still strong and weirdly I’m thinking, Birdman, that’s the good guy. That’s🎙 00:09:33.195–00:09:50.715
  • the strong character and we need to emulate that. We need to see more of that. We don’t see that in Western media. So Bollywood being a different culture has a whole different take on this. And that’s why it was so refreshing for me as a Western viewer.🎙 00:09:50.715–00:10:04.555
  • The two main characters, now the thing is the first problem is they actually have to end up like having three or four names throughout the film because there’s their real name, there’s their cover name, then there’s kind of their like nickname.🎙 00:10:04.181–00:10:18.181
  • So I’m going to call one of them beam because I think that’s his real name and the other one the Raj, which I actually think is short form of Raj something else. I watched it in Tamil. It was it was Hindi over dubbed in Tamil with.🎙 00:10:18.181–00:10:34.181
  • subtitles. So there was a lot of maybe subtleties or confusion and like names and stuff like that. Because they start out, they’re both kind of undercover. So they’re using fake names and then they switch names part way through. And then they introduce what they’re🎙 00:10:34.681–00:10:45.761
  • full names. And then I kind of got lost with the name. So I have the names, it’s beam and Raj. These two men love each other like no two men have ever loved each other in the past. Now it’s a bromance. It’s it’s a purely platonic love. And this is something that’s🎙 00:10:45.761–00:11:02.561
  • also problematic because platonic love, sincere love between two is something that’s very difficult to depict on the screen. Because there’s a weird thing now where all love has a sexual undertone.🎙 00:11:02.561–00:11:19.376
  • And we’ve lost the idea of platonic love as a real thing that happens. And it’s probably because of toxic masculinity. It’s probably because men have trouble showing it. But these two men, there is a friendship montage.🎙 00:11:21.056–00:11:36.416
  • So they meet each other, they hang out for a bit. And the friendship montage is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, but it’s because it’s pure, magical, unadulterated joy. There’s part of it is, Beam gets radged up on his shoulders🎙 00:11:36.416–00:11:50.265
  • and starts doing squats. They start doing chin ups. They’re just exercising together. They’re running out in fields. They go to return a goat to a shepherd, but then the shepherd starts chasing them away🎙 00:11:50.265–00:12:00.425
  • for attacking the goat and they run away, laughing and having a good time. One is very modern. It’s a dichotomy. He’s actually from a tribe out in the forest, but he’s the one he f- fixes motorcycles and rides motorcycles where Raj is the modern man and he’s undercover🎙 00:12:00.425–00:12:18.568
  • as a police officer and yet he’s the one who rides a horse. So they kind of put all this stuff together but it’s the yin-yang aspect where they like the opposite things in every moment but at the same time they compliment each other.🎙 00:12:18.568–00:12:33.608
  • Which is, I would say it’s very difficult to do but RRR did it so well and so quickly. They establish that these guys love each other and then one scene for some reason really stands out where beam walks up to Raj and goes like what are you doing?🎙 00:12:33.608–00:12:47.168
  • I’m writing a letter to… my girlfriend. He’s like, Oh, you have a girlfriend. She must be wonderful. And he’s super supportive. He never says a shitty thing. And I think it’s been years and years and years that I’ve seen a film🎙 00:12:47.168–00:13:00.542
  • where a character walks up to a character and talks about a love relationship or any kind of relationship and doesn’t say something shitty. And so just this like, Oh my God, you’re amazing. Your girlfriend also must be amazing. She’s lucky to have you. You’re lucky to have her. I hope this🎙 00:13:00.542–00:13:16.062
  • is the best relationship that ever happens. And then Raj is helping beam. Like with how to hit on another girl, how to how I like set up a situation where he could actually spend time with and talk to another girl and it’s beautiful.🎙 00:13:16.062–00:13:29.269
  • Because it’s completely self sacrificial. I will spend my time. I will spend my energy. I will help you achieve your goal. And this leads us to the very first dance off in the film. So there’s a couple of songs and all the songs are good. They slap.🎙 00:13:29.269–00:13:45.269
  • There’s a thematic thing that repeats that I’m going to talk about in a minute. But they do a dance off and it’s beam and Raj versus all the white people. And the white people do not get a good take it.🎙 00:13:45.269–00:14:13.269
  • this but it’s awesome. It is so disparaging of the British and their occupation of India but it is so fictional that it’s awesome. Like I would put on a British accent just so I could go in there and get beat up or shot by Raj or beam or whatever. It doesn’t matter. I would have loved🎙 00:13:55.059–00:14:12.739
  • to be the bad guy in this movie just so I could be in and amongst this story but they do this dance-off and the dance-off the woman that beam is in love with is watching and then it gets down to all the white guys have fallen to the side.🎙 00:14:12.739–00:14:40.979
  • They just can’t keep up. Beaman Raj are doing the final two person dance off. And what does Raj do? He sees that the girl that Beam likes is watching, she’s watching Beaman wants him to win. So he fakes losing, even though maybe he could have win, he probably could have because he’s🎙 00:14:27.357–00:14:43.017
  • kind of more, he’s more of the physically capable character in many ways. He’s presented that way. To the point where, and then he falls and then that means, Beam gets to win. So he sacrifices his loss.🎙 00:14:43.017–00:14:57.397
  • He takes a loss so that his friend can win just so his friend can look good in front of his girl It’s just awesome, and it’s just such a beautiful thing and that becomes the crux of the story because🎙 00:14:57.391–00:15:10.031
  • their goals For the most part of the film are antithetical Raj is trying to catch beam. He doesn’t know it’s beam yet beam is trying to kidnap or re-kidnap So a little girl is kidnapped at the beginning film beam is trying to get her back🎙 00:15:10.031–00:15:25.191
  • So it’s like an undoing of a kidnapping and then Raj’s task to stop him Raj has an ulterior motion that, but he has to complete this task to achieve his ulterior motive. And this becomes the conflict between the two characters because they both need to achieve🎙 00:15:25.191–00:15:42.752
  • their goals, their greater goals, goals bigger than themselves. But how can they achieve their goals? Are their goals worth achieving if they have to portray the only, like their best friend, the only person in this world they truly love in a pure and kind way?🎙 00:15:42.752–00:15:57.872
  • I mean, you can say that the love relationships between the men and the women are pure at their entire spirit. I don’t believe it. I think it’s uh, these the the the man love here is the purest You could ever see on film🎙 00:15:57.872–00:16:09.231
  • So that’s the bromance and it’s all very positive and then you get to the there’s there’s the music which I mentioned before so i’m going to talk about it now the music is exquisite It’s but it’s also thematically connected because the first half of the film it’s a three hour film by the way🎙 00:16:09.391–00:16:27.711
  • So if you’re gonna sit down you really want to plan this out The first half of the film they’re seeing this song about what happens when these two guys meet opposites, they have opposite goals. The line that stuck out to me the most is🎙 00:16:27.791–00:16:40.321
  • what happens when a volcano meets a storm. Surely this can only end a betrayal. Surely this can only end in violence. And it’s setting up the second part of the film where do they betray each other? Do they end up fighting each🎙 00:16:40.321–00:16:54.301
  • other? And it’s amazing because the movie is planned out so well that the song is leading you to the like inevitable conflict. It’s predicting it and that makes the inevitable conflict even that more powerful because you know it’s🎙 00:16:54.301–00:17:09.181
  • coming because the song has been telling you it’s been coming. the whole time. The themes throughout. So beam is represented by water and Raj is represented by fire. So again, there are opposites but complementary. There’s a🎙 00:17:09.181–00:17:23.543
  • scene where I showed it to my friend and he goes, why are these guys walking underwater to shake hands? So they’re underwater, they’re shaking hands, but a tanker from a train that is caught on fire has sunk down in the background. So🎙 00:17:23.543–00:17:36.543
  • it’s actually the moment when fire and water come together, the fire is in the water. It’s coming up from the gas. flames in the background, but they’re underwater and they come together in Shaeh Kansan. This is showing the connection between the characters is🎙 00:17:36.543–00:17:48.791
  • inevitable and it is the greatest thing. And that thematic consistency is throughout the film. So anytime you get a really you know strong shot of Raj there’s probably fire in the background or his that the screen is encircled in🎙 00:17:48.791–00:18:03.071
  • fire and then when they have battles and stuff there’s water around beam or he’s very wet and sweaty and then there’s one where he smashes a fountain in the fountain that’s fountain spraying behind him. This is also when you get to one of🎙 00:18:03.071–00:18:14.591
  • the bigger action scenes of the film. Now, one thing I have complained about primarily like superhero movies is the inconsistency of powers. So powers in, let’s say the Marvel universe, it’s very hard to tell what a character can🎙 00:18:14.591–00:18:31.708
  • and can’t do. So Thor and the Hulk are the ones that come to mind first because in one moment, they will be able to do something in the next scene, like five minutes later, they’re not able to do something that’s actually much easier than the thing they did previously.🎙 00:18:31.708–00:18:45.948
  • And then at the end of the movie, when it’s necessary, they can do something. something. And that actually really bothers me because well, I should have a sense of danger because I know that Thor or I know that Hulk isn’t strong enough to do this thing.🎙 00:18:45.948–00:18:57.360
  • Boobies are actually making it so that they have whatever power they need at the time for dramatic purposes. But actually that needs to be established at the beginning what they can and cannot do. And either they overcome it and succeed or they, you know, do something to achieve🎙 00:18:58.560–00:19:13.920
  • the goal, which is beyond their powers. It was the Star Wars Obi-Wan TV show where most of the show he has very basic. He hasn’t been using the force. He has very basic, very limited force capabilities.🎙 00:19:13.920–00:19:30.012
  • But then in the very last one where he fights Darth Vader, he suddenly lifts up a bunch of rocks. And I’m like, that really took me out in the moment because I’m like, I don’t think he should be able to do that🎙 00:19:30.012–00:19:38.812
  • just because he hasn’t been able to do anything even close to that. That is like a double 10 times stronger than he was 15 minutes ago or every other episode of the show. R-R does the exact same thing.🎙 00:19:38.812–00:19:51.492
  • Triple R does the exact. same thing and that their power is whatever they need to be in the moment. But why is it in this movie it’s okay? And I realized that this movie is the cumulation of all Kung Fu films mixed with Bollywood.🎙 00:19:51.492–00:20:07.716
  • Because it’s so open and honest about what it is, because it’s so clearly gold towards one thing, they have to be able to do whatever they need to be able to do in the moment because all we really care about is that they look cool or look interesting or it looks funny or it looks fun.🎙 00:20:07.716–00:20:23.416
  • They’ve proven these guys are strong. but they haven’t made them super superhuman strong and yet they have kind of established it. Beam at the beginning catches a tiger in um like a trap and he’s holding two ropes together to🎙 00:20:23.416–00:20:35.922
  • catch the tiger. He’s physically stronger than the tiger which is an impossibility. The tiger is probably like six, seven, ten times stronger than a human being. This would have been very easy for the tiger to get out of. There’s a scene probably one of my favorite scenes where Beam catches a🎙 00:20:35.922–00:20:49.042
  • motorcycle, picks it up and then hits two guys with it and you would honestly go why is he able to suddenly pick up a motorcycle and it’s a And it’d be literally the answer to me would be because he needs to do that in that moment🎙 00:20:49.042–00:21:00.355
  • to be able to do that scene. So there’s a sincerity to the silliness they’re willing to engage with. And because that’s consistent throughout the movie, they’re super powered and then normal people and then super powered and then normal people, they just are capable of doing🎙 00:21:00.355–00:21:17.155
  • whatever they have to do no matter what. But it’s to the singular goal of entertainment, whereas in a movie like any of the Marvel film or any of the… Star Wars movies where they’re trying to set up a narrative as being a serious thing,🎙 00:21:17.155–00:21:31.116
  • it now doesn’t make sense because it’s not serious if suddenly my power multiplies by ten when I just happened to need it and it’s convenient for the plot. But I think maybe more than anything else, honestly anything else was this may be cultural🎙 00:21:31.116–00:21:46.356
  • is that by the end of the film, throughout the film, I could never guess what was going to happen next. And maybe that to me was the best part. I was consistently surprised by whatever was going to happen.🎙 00:21:46.356–00:21:59.716
  • So it could have been serious, it could have been silly. It could have been dramatic. It could have been entertainment. Just just pure entertainment. I couldn’t guess what was coming next because they mixed everything in so well.🎙 00:21:59.716–00:22:09.350
  • So I didn’t I honestly by the end of the film could not tell if they were actually going to end up in conflict I kind of knew they were gonna end up being friends and resolve that issue because that’s the best way to end a film🎙 00:22:10.030–00:22:21.190
  • It’s a happy film. So it’s going to end on a positive note So the only way to end on a positive note is everything works out in the end and all the British die because the end of any good Story all the British die, but I think maybe the last part I need to mention🎙 00:22:21.190–00:22:34.510
  • is that this is perhaps the first film in my entire life. So I’m 50. I’ve watched movies, tons and tons of movies. This is maybe the first time I’ve actually ever watched a film and thought, why did these men still have their shirts on?🎙 00:22:34.492–00:22:47.992
  • They’re doing fights, they’re doing action scenes, take their shirts off. I’m all for gratuitous sexuality, for, you know, have tight pants and women wearing bikinis and stuff. But these guys were so awesome. I just wanted more of them.🎙 00:22:47.992–00:23:04.572
  • and the clothes were just getting in the way. So there’s a couple scenes, but it seems very early on, they do some high candy and it’s great. Like even as again, a heterosexual male, I had feelings and I was like,🎙 00:23:04.595–00:23:15.835
  • God damn, Raj should never have a shirt on and beams looking pretty good too. And they do another nice thing. Raj is completely, you know, smooth and beam has a lot of hair on his chest. So they even got like one for each sort of taste.🎙 00:23:15.835–00:23:27.075
  • No matter what you like, it’s in there for you. So I am sincerely recommending to anyone who listens to Seamik Bee. If you have three hours and Netflix because it’s on Netflix. I know that but if you have to type pirate it,🎙 00:23:27.075–00:23:39.189
  • it’s hard. It’s hard to find a copy without with English subtitles. But if there’s any way, spend some time and try to get a copy of Triple R and just sit down for three hours and watch it. I guarantee you’re gonna have one of the🎙 00:23:39.189–00:23:53.389
  • best experiences. Cinematically, you’ve had in years and years and years because of the purity of the emotion held therein, which a lot of movies, because I think maybe they’re done to committee or there’s too many people involved. They lose🎙 00:23:53.389–00:24:06.829
  • some of that purity of emotion. that we’re seeing again like Avengers films and Star Wars films. Those are supposed to be emotional stories but quite often things happen you’re like, well, I mean they got 50 characters on screen, who cares?🎙 00:24:06.829–00:24:19.488
  • You should absolutely try to get this film sit down and watch it. I’ve recommended to everyone, I recommend it to you. And I think if you stand and watch it, you’ll realize that I’ve just done you one of the biggest favors you’ll have had of this year.🎙 00:24:19.488–00:24:32.288