Speed Dating with MrWarmHands

  • Look at that. Hey, like and subscribe. Drive time radio. I would love to do some drive time radio. Wob, wob, wob, wob, wob, wah. That’s right, Peter, Peter and the, the, the, the warm and the chunk.🎙 00:00:00.00000:00:14.780
  • All way to work. The warm, the warm chunk is down your ear. I was just about to say, feel the warm chunks on your prime time drive. There’s to be somewhere disgusting there, like on your person. Feel the warm chunks wash all over you.🎙 00:00:14.78000:00:32.420
  • Yeah, Do they have? Drive time radio in England. They must yeah, yeah So is it the same is it the same like cheesy bullshit they make fun of it? It’s less Now than it was why I actually haven’t listened to it. So it might be exactly the same, but it was not ridiculous🎙 00:00:32.42000:00:48.246
  • Ridiculous North America, but it was getting less when I left This is essentially a new segment on the podcast and it is going to be you and I having conversations and we thought it would be a good idea to🎙 00:00:48.24600:01:17.961
  • introduce ourselves. So we found some you look, you suggested speed dating questions and then I they were all dog shit. So I went and found some other ones. You went and found some other ones. That’s a matter of opinion.🎙 00:01:17.96100:01:31.601
  • Yeah my opinion. Sometimes opinions are wrong. Well sometimes they’re right. But I found a list and the first it has subsections the first subsection is creative. funny questions to ask. Now, here’s the most creative funny question because it’s number one on the list.🎙 00:01:31.60100:01:52.994
  • What’s the weirdest movie you’ve ever seen? Which does not seem particularly weird or creative. No. That is a general theme with all of these questions. No matter what adjective you put before, like, question, they’re all the same questions.🎙 00:01:52.99400:02:06.994
  • And they’re all super vanilla. I have realized, maybe, that the world is so bland. That it’s like, I was trying to imagine someone like, ah shit, I gotta go to a party. I’ve never been to a party before because I’m a loser and lonely.🎙 00:02:06.99400:02:23.994
  • And I’m going to my first… I gotta be really charming. Okay, I’m online now. This is gonna be great. Okay. What’s oh, what’s the weirdest movie you’ve ever seen? I never would have thought of asking that question. Oh my god. No one’s ever asked me that before and then just like blowing🎙 00:02:23.99400:02:37.632
  • The mind. Okay, would you like number two? We’re not gonna answer these? No, no. What was the first question again? I forgot that’s how good it was. Yeah, what was it? What’s the weirdest movie you’ve ever seen?🎙 00:02:37.63200:02:47.252
  • The weirdest movie I’ve ever seen and I’ll stand by this. I’m sure there’s weirder ones. Pie by Darren Aronoski. The first ones. Lion in the boat, the tiger in a boat? No, no, no. That’s life of pie. Oh, this is this is mathematical pie.🎙 00:02:47.25200:03:05.252
  • I don’t think I’ve seen that. It’s all in black and white and it’s just bizarre. Like I can’t even… really describe it. A mathematician kind of thinks he hears the voice of God through numbers. Yeah, it’s… Nothing weird about that. Yeah, I think it’s his best movie. Like, I tried to🎙 00:03:05.25200:03:26.392
  • people gush about the other one, the drugs one, with Heath Ledger. The drugs one. Yeah, because it’s all about drugs. Like, I know what it’s called. People do love their drug movies. But I didn’t… Well, this one’s not like… Like, um, what’s the Matthew McConney? Like,🎙 00:03:26.39200:03:42.792
  • he’d be like, cool if you did that one. I don’t know. It’s all about dope and being like a high schooler. Oh, I actually think I know what you mean. days and confused. Yeah, people love that movie. I because it’s but it’s not like that this that🎙 00:03:42.79200:03:59.097
  • money is all about masturbation. It’s no because so there’s people who do drugs make media about doing drugs. Like the people who smoke marijuana everything they do events write a book or something about marijuana. I’ve also found that there’s authors and they write there’s two more categories🎙 00:03:59.09700:04:15.657
  • that works is authors who write books about authors and then movie creators so a director let’s say who makes a movie about making a movie and I’m like you’re just you’re just jerking yourself off at this point.🎙 00:04:15.65700:04:29.253
  • Okay, a bit too meta for you. Well, it’s, but it’s not. It’s actually so direct line. Just self indulgence. Yeah, it’s like, if it was meta, it would be like unrelated to your life somehow, but this is like, oh, I’m going to say how hard it is🎙 00:04:29.25300:04:44.973
  • to be an auteur because I consider myself an auteur. Okay. I’m going to talk about the trials and tribulations of being a movie director and how hard it is and no one understands it. No, no, no.🎙 00:04:44.97300:05:16.213
  • And then he’s doing that as he’s pulling his pants down. Oh, God. No one understands me. I’m going to make a movie about how hard it. Yeah. No, that’s just, that’s, I hate that. So my first question to you, my, my potential future life partner,🎙 00:04:58.14100:05:15.101
  • what’s your spirit animal? A raccoon. OK, elaborate. No, I think I’ve told you this. No, I’d like to. No, I’ve finished. Fuck off. That would be the best speed dating. Answer the question and then just go, no.🎙 00:05:16.50100:05:34.911
  • I will not explain it. I’m not that’s it. Look, the timer went off. It’s time to switch questions. Hey, you didn’t say it. You had to, what is it? You have to fucking interpret it yourself. There’s no way I can explain this to you.🎙 00:05:34.91100:05:44.951
  • I had the experience in university. I got wicked, wicked drunk. And I think we were drinking on the university golf course. And I do believe I tried to put my penis in a golf hole. I think you could just say bull for a second.🎙 00:05:44.95100:05:59.151
  • I was like, no, no. I think I basically tried to have sex with a guy. of course. And then on the walk home and you know that like seven hour drinking session walk? Like you are going so slow. You can you struggle to to move and pulling your legs.🎙 00:05:59.15100:06:21.157
  • Yeah, your your basis is so I so I’m still on the university campus and the one I went to was huge. Like it was like a 15 20 minute walk across campus and that’s not including like extra stuff. So in the middle I was just like I.🎙 00:06:21.15700:06:32.677
  • I gotta sit down and I, there was, this is the potential of where you fall asleep. When I sat down and I was just like, doing that drunk breathing like, oh, oh. I think that you’re breathing right now.🎙 00:06:32.97700:06:44.257
  • Yeah. Oh, it wasn’t. Okay. It wasn’t picking up. I was doing that drunk breathing like dead silence. Like, oh, she’s dead. But I do know people that drunk breathe like that. There’s two, there’s two kinds of drunk breathing.🎙 00:06:44.25700:06:56.897
  • There’s, I’m so exhausted because my body’s still processing alcohol and it shouldn’t be. And I’m about to throw up. Because I was on the train because it’s deep. Oh, it’s yeah, because they do deep breaths when they’re trying to stave it off.🎙 00:06:56.89700:07:10.988
  • But then when your body like sort of is ramping up to it, I was on the train and there was these cute drunk guys gone on the train and they had just they gone out buying shoes and then got drunk, which is a weird combination.🎙 00:07:10.98800:07:20.828
  • And then one guy started doing the, and I’m like, oh, he’s going to puke. He’s going to puke. And then I was like, he’s going to puke somewhere on the train. We’re not making it to like the door open.🎙 00:07:20.82800:07:30.068
  • He puked into the bag where his new shoes were. And these were sneaker heads. This is like clearly what they had done that day specifically was to go out and buy shoes. Imagine how much money those sneakers probably cause.🎙 00:07:30.06800:07:43.627
  • Easily, yeah, cause you know, if you’re a sneaker fan, you’re buying 120 bucks is the minimum. Minimum. That’s like fucking nothing, yeah. Yeah. So anyways, I was doing that exhausted drunk breathing🎙 00:07:43.62700:07:56.987
  • and just like trying to regain enough energy so that I could actually make it to my dorm or I think I lived in a dorm at that time. This is all after humping the golf course. Oh, that had to be peak drunk.🎙 00:07:56.98700:08:08.507
  • Okay. Pre or post. You were out on the top of the… but the mountain of drunkenness. Yeah, no, no, I think the only way I would try to have sex with a golf course is when I was like, this is a great idea.🎙 00:08:08.50700:08:18.996
  • And then like 10 minutes before or 10 minutes later, you realize it’s not a good idea. Yeah. So how far after the next week? This would have been been an hour or two hours later. An hour, okay. Because the walk’s gonna be 30 minutes.🎙 00:08:18.99600:08:32.076
  • Okay, you were like just barreling down into the valley of fear. Yeah, my body is shutting down. And so I was sitting on this stair. and a raccoon came up and sat down next to me and started looking at me and I was drunk enough to realize that🎙 00:08:32.07600:08:48.814
  • It’s a wild animal, but I shouldn’t touch it and then I started talking to it I was like this is again. This is drunk logic. I was like I’ll tell it my problems And like my my my wishes and desires in life and I talked for like in my head🎙 00:08:49.29400:09:03.914
  • It was like ten minutes. I think it might have been like five to ten minutes And then and then two hours it could have been two hours, but it did sit there I don’t think that wild animals gonna sit there for two hours and then🎙 00:09:03.91400:09:14.054
  • I mean it wasn’t really well, so this is this is actually the second part is so I so I tell him all my problems and he listens Yeah, now everyone’s like you do this thing to you. I was like no. No. I’m not saying he understood🎙 00:09:14.18700:09:27.047
  • he listened and Then the raccoon got up and touched me on the shoulder and went away No, no, I was sitting on the I was sitting on the ground. I’m sitting on basically stairs going down somewhere They just gotta fun its hind legs got how unlike and put his little paws on my shoulder and kind of like🎙 00:09:27.70700:09:47.227
  • and then left. Yeah, basically. And like, everyone’s like, that didn’t happen. So I was like, no, no, I’m not saying like, it understood or it meant something. I’m saying, this is what happened.🎙 00:09:47.99400:09:57.914
  • Even in my drunk state of mind, I’m like, that’s not like him talking to me. And people really, really doubt that story, which I find weird. And then I went home and I, and. And you were like, I’m drunk, not a fucking lunatic.🎙 00:09:57.91400:10:09.114
  • Yeah. Yeah. So that was, that was my spirit animal. Yeah, you realize right there and then that you were connected to me. I’m connected to raccoons. At some level with the raccoons. Yeah. I was gonna say with spirits, which is the whole other.🎙 00:10:09.11400:10:25.061
  • I’m tempted to just do my list, but I should go through the list and find the good ones. But creative, funny questions to ask. What’s that question? No, I don’t know. I’m gonna I’m gonna read text missing.🎙 00:10:25.06100:10:38.181
  • I’m gonna read it to reiterate the title so that people know how bad these questions are. Ritten, who wrote this? I’m now going to find out it’s actually yourself. Nataline Mejia sucks. Okay. Oh, sorry.🎙 00:10:39.38100:10:53.301
  • Creative, funny questions to ask. Number two, what’s a pizza topping? most people hate, but you secretly love. And I would tack onto that. Why are you keeping this a secret? Yeah, why, what? Who are you?🎙 00:10:53.30100:11:07.142
  • I don’t think that’s a question. There’s like a guilty pleasure kind of thing, which I don’t agree with as a concept. Yes. I don’t, yeah, I think, I think a guilty, who gives a fuck? Yep. If you like something like it.🎙 00:11:07.14200:11:21.382
  • Yep, people go, you just go, you’re a shallow minded bull bag. We’re gonna have to come up with a list of things that we use on the podcast. I have run into people judging my food, and now I take great offense at it,🎙 00:11:21.38200:11:39.934
  • and it’s Japanese people. Because eating in the staff room at work, I would go by lunch, and then I used to be addicted to caffeine really badly, so I used to have a Coke every day. And then I bought sushi and a Coke,🎙 00:11:39.93400:11:54.854
  • and my Japanese coworker was like, you can’t eat those together. Continental sin. And I was just looking early going. Yes, I can. She’s like, well, no, no, but they don’t go together. And I’m like, well, if I put them both in my mouth, they do.🎙 00:11:54.85400:12:08.919
  • Yeah. The argument was just like, this is what I want. This is what I want to eat. So fuck off. And she got super judgmental. I was like, I was like, what is it about Coke that doesn’t match? And she’s like, well, you should drink tea.🎙 00:12:08.91900:12:20.559
  • I’m like, but you people drink beer. She’s like, oh, beer’s okay. I’m like, well, why is beer okay? And not this? She was like, well, this is- It’s carbonated. Yeah, but she was like, this is traditional.🎙 00:12:20.55900:12:27.839
  • I’m like, beer’s only been in Japan. Like eight weeks, what are you talking about? Like, so I got, I now get really, really pissy about that. I know. a fan of that. What would you say is the weirdest food or the most unusual food🎙 00:12:27.83900:12:44.553
  • you like? The most unusual food. Yeah, because the secret part is the part I actually disagree with. I don’t know. Do you take a hard stance on any food? No, not really. Yeah, me too. I’ll try anything once. I figure you should eat🎙 00:12:44.55300:13:01.213
  • what you like. Yeah, just eat what you like and it’s not weird. Like, I mean, again, I think as a middle-aged, white, western man, I should look at the world and think pretty much anything that any other country eats is weird.🎙 00:13:01.21300:13:28.233
  • Yeah. But I think it’s great, you know. I’m happy that the world develops all kinds of different things to eat. And I want to go around and experience it. Yeah. Yeah. Food is the best. Food’s amazing, man.🎙 00:13:17.73400:13:35.294
  • Have you ever tried something that was just absolutely horrendous? Uh, yeah. I tried like a Chinese duck head. Uh, things with faces I struggle with. Well, it was like… kind of it’s weird because I think you’re supposed to eat the brain but the texture🎙 00:13:35.29400:13:53.313
  • was gross and then I just like sucked on the beak a bit and was like I mean I’m glad I tried it but never again yeah yeah I because that’s I don’t like Natto which is a very common thing but it’s not even a taste or the smell for🎙 00:13:53.31300:14:08.693
  • me it’s actually the texture yep same yeah I actually find I can deal with the taste is actually kind of nice like I like it it’s okay that texture just like the like it gets to like the back of my throat I’ve realized I don’t like🎙 00:14:08.69300:14:22.093
  • anything slimy it just feels like a massive booger in your mouth, to me. So my image though, because when they mix it and then they like lift it up and put it down and it’s like the strings they’re expanding and contracting the strings.🎙 00:14:22.09300:14:36.012
  • I always think of like an alien, their mouths ooze, clearly. I was like, an alien baby birding you. That’s how I think of what I think of that though, which is why I can’t eat it anymore. You can eat it, yep.🎙 00:14:36.01200:14:50.072
  • Okay. All right, my next question. Yep. What’s expensive but worth it? It’s actually a lot of things. Shoes? Yeah. I mean, you should pay more for shoes because you walk way more than you think.🎙 00:14:50.07200:15:11.074
  • Wow, you sound like my mum. Well, you should buy good shoes and a good bed because if you’re not in one, you’re in the other. Oh, actually that’s pretty good advice. Yeah. Shoes is pretty good advice.🎙 00:15:11.07400:15:23.314
  • Especially if you’re anything where you walk or stand a lot. You need good shoes. Because it affects your back, it affects your, like, shoes are important. I know people who buy cheap shoes and they’re falling apart during the day🎙 00:15:23.31400:15:34.659
  • and they’re like, dude, you look like an idiot. And then by default, I have to buy expensive shoes because of size on feet. Look here in Japan, I know. Yeah. So how do you get shoes? Because I order from England.🎙 00:15:34.65900:15:48.219
  • Yeah, online. Sometimes they get lucky in stores and they have sneakers discounted because they’ve randomly got big size on soon. But it’s pretty rare. Because I buy solo ver, which is the original makers of Doc Martens.🎙 00:15:49.61900:16:20.219
  • the Doc Martin company got bought out and then they started making their shoes. So these are more Doc Martin than modern Doc Martens, which is interesting. Say Doc Martin again. Doc Martin. And again?🎙 00:16:05.35400:16:17.674
  • Doc Martin. And again. Doc Martin. No, say it twice. Doc Martin, Doc Martin. I love it. Why? Never stop. I don’t know. There’s like a weird like glottal stop between your Doc. Ah, that is the North American flap T because I don’t actually say T sounds.🎙 00:16:17.67400:16:33.354
  • Yeah. I don’t know. I just, it’s sexy to be. It’s also my name. Doc Martin. Doc Martin, Doc Martin, Doc Martin. Doc Martin. Doc Martin, I should go to the Irish with it. You’re going to get her some Doc Martin.🎙 00:16:33.35400:16:50.307
  • What? The card? The card? No, I don’t know what the fuck I’m just talking. Cling on now. I’ve also, I hold on. That’s what Cling on is. It’s a super strong Irish accent. I would go more expensive.🎙 00:16:50.30700:17:07.907
  • So I bought a cheap microphone. Like, it depends what you’re doing. So things you use all the time, it’s better to buy a better quality. So I had a microphone when I started the podcast and I got a cheap one.🎙 00:17:07.90700:17:19.221
  • And then it wasn’t really designed for the computer and this and that. And I was like, and it had problems. Whereas as soon as I bought the mic, I’m using now the hyper X solo cast. Should you want to sponsor the show?🎙 00:17:19.54100:17:29.601
  • Zero problems since. So like that just saved me trying to like, Oh, I’ll try to take that sound out in post or I’ll try to do this. And I was just like, no, I just record it and I go now, which is amazing.🎙 00:17:32.02100:17:42.001
  • So like if you’re on the computer as much as you and I. You should buy mid-tier computer parts. I actually think high-end is usually ripping you off. I mean, but you and I both become fans of Razer.🎙 00:17:42.00100:17:56.797
  • Yeah, and I think Razer is mid to high, but I don’t buy the high-end stuff. I buy their mid stuff, and it’s great. Yeah, I’m really happy with what they provide. I actually think you should not go cheap on most things because the problem is it all wears out and explodes on you when you’re not ready.🎙 00:17:57.19700:18:14.897
  • I’m looking around my room going like, no, everything’s… I don’t I don’t I don’t spend extra money, but I’ll spend money on trying to get a good one Like for example, I love listening to music right and I buy🎙 00:18:14.89700:18:27.486
  • reasonably like expensive headphones for like for me like family man. Yeah, I don’t have massive amount of Expendable income, but I like to buy nice headphones. Hmm Yeah, it always just lasts like a year to 18 months and then all of like the🎙 00:18:28.20600:18:46.406
  • The fabric covering on like the cushioning starts to come off. I And then they slowly just disintegrate Yeah, and it doesn’t seem to matter how much I spend I Would what kind do you getting like overhead? Yeah overhead? Yeah, it’s a cans because I I was buying headphones🎙 00:18:47.00600:19:04.796
  • Yeah, a pair every year and I was slowly creeping up in price and I was like I’m still I’m spending like five thousand yen and still it’s only lasting a year and then I got the bows Bluetooth Headphones that are I spent like three years now. Maybe more and they’re not like disintegrating🎙 00:19:04.99600:19:21.676
  • The pads Dave to them. So I, but I went online and just replaced them. Yeah. So it was just the pads. It’s not like the issues. I thought the battery was dying, but I think just the charging thing I was🎙 00:19:21.67600:19:34.963
  • using wasn’t very good. So the batteries find like three years later, the batteries still find everything. Yeah, I love those. But they’re expensive. They’ve cheering them. They never know. Centigrade. No, I think it’s because they use better🎙 00:19:34.96300:19:45.203
  • materials. I think because I’m buying like look like I spent like 12, 12,000 yen on my headphones this time, which is not cheap, but it’s all. So not high end. Yeah. And I think they’re just still cutting back on costs in the fabric.🎙 00:19:45.20300:20:01.822
  • So maybe I’ll just buy some. I’m going to try buying slightly more expensive ones next time. Because these these the most ones I have, they’re like 25,000. Yeah, it was my birthday present for my wife.🎙 00:20:01.82200:20:14.362
  • I think they’re more than that. I maybe she got him at Costco though. Oh, OK. Because yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen both or anything under three. Oh, she she didn’t pay that much. I guarantee. But the guarantee.🎙 00:20:14.72200:20:27.148
  • No, no, no, no, no, because… Shh. No, no, no, no, because I was looking at them and like, ah, I think I might buy these. I think I might buy these. But I was thinking of buying them because they were at Costco and they were like 25,000🎙 00:20:27.14800:20:40.068
  • yet. But again, now that’s three years, one or two more years and they’ve paid themselves off. I would have spent that much on replacing other ones anyways. Yeah, every year. So that’s what I want.🎙 00:20:40.06800:20:52.708
  • I don’t want to keep replacing them. Yeah. So… I finished. I’m satisfied with your answer. I’ll be fine. Alright. Wow. Oh yeah. Cool. Alright. Cool. Yeah. Alright. Finished. I’m satisfied with your answer.🎙 00:20:52.70800:21:09.468
  • Oh, good. Alright. Wow. Alright. Cool. Oh yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. More people to see, come on. Oh, okay. I’ve gone a shit. We really fucked up speed dating, man. Fun icebreaker questions is a separate list.🎙 00:21:09.46800:21:12.135
  • Oh, yeah. So I thought this was- Oh, is that your question? No, no, I’m just trying to give you the content so that we can make fun of how about these questions? I’m not insulating at the end. Fun icebreaker questions is a separate list.🎙 00:21:12.13500:21:22.375
  • I’m Canadian. Okay. The Canadian question is something you should start researching because you’re not gonna be able to communicate. If you want, I’ll start doing the fun. Icebreaker questions, eh?🎙 00:21:22.37500:21:33.055
  • haha Okay? because that’s the problem is because they say a as an I said starting a list there and then the next would be be yeah so the the name of this list is fun icebreaker questions the first one is🎙 00:21:33.05500:21:46.587
  • one of the least fun icebreaker questions I’ve ever seen so I want to do the first two okay because the first one’s not going anywhere I can pretty much guarantee are there any interesting things your name spells with the letters🎙 00:21:46.58700:21:59.007
  • rearranged my head I take no I know my first response was no no to me or you. No, no, is there anything my name spells with the letters rearranged that’s interesting? You’re thinking about your name?🎙 00:21:59.00700:22:18.641
  • Yeah. The answer’s no. Who are you asking yourself? I’m asking you now. Oh, okay. I guess ATM. That’s it. Other than that, yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely dog shit. Who wrote the real short shit names?🎙 00:22:18.64100:22:34.121
  • Who wrote the short shit names? I can’t think of many people whose names were. Heather Harper, get your shit together. Occupational psychologist from the University of Manchester. clearly a wasted degree. If you think that is a fun icebreaker question, you are a boring, sad🎙 00:22:34.12100:22:49.085
  • individual. I really hope you don’t see this in your feelings. The second question though, in the fun icebreaker questions, if you are a potato, what way would you like to be cooked? Actually, maybe influenced by living in this country, but I’d like to be dropped in a deep fat🎙 00:22:49.08500:23:07.485
  • fryer hole. So, my… Okay, really? I don’t know, just because I live here and people say, like, fried potato and now I… I think that’s hilarious. Mm-hmm. It’s like, because who else is gonna say that?🎙 00:23:07.48500:23:23.916
  • Yeah, just drop me in a deep breath, right, a hole. Don’t cut me nothing. Maybe my problem is I’m too literal. You asked me that question I immediately went, I would rather not be cooked, because it’s like murder.🎙 00:23:23.91600:23:33.316
  • I would rather be left in the ground to live my life as a happy potato. I think both of us basically give answers that women would go, oh. Oh, for fuck sake. Oh, for fuck sake. Fuck sake. Yeah.🎙 00:23:34.35600:23:48.356
  • Oh. This game is shitty, but it does. You’re fucking wise. Let’s just drop. me in whole what the fuck you on about oh leave you in the ground yeah you fucking troglodyte get away from okay so any way you prepare potato you have to skin it🎙 00:23:48.35600:24:02.443
  • I do not want to be skinned and then you like slice it up I’m like no I don’t want to be dismembered and then you deep fry it well hopefully by that time I’m dead but see I think a potato if it had a consciousness yes would not exist🎙 00:24:02.44300:24:15.363
  • within the particular confines of the potato I think it would be like whoa attached above so it would be experiencing it even post-death well I don’t think it would feel pain I think it just experiences things.🎙 00:24:15.36300:24:31.615
  • So when the potato is cut up, is it then split consciousness? Or is it one consciousness now spread out amongst several? Because let’s say you cut the potato in half and I give you half the potato🎙 00:24:31.61500:24:41.735
  • and you go back to Fukushima. Does the potato, is it aware of where the plant is? It’s now quantied. The entangled. But it’s separated, yes. It’s separated and quantied me entangled. So if I wanple my potato and punch it,🎙 00:24:41.73500:24:55.415
  • then maybe your one will just start wobbling. And brought back violently too. Have you ever read about starfish? And you cut the starfish in half and then you separate? and you wiggle one arm, because they grow back, yeah?🎙 00:24:55.41500:25:11.082
  • But you wiggle one arm. How do they? Like sponges. Yeah, I think if you cut, I think you have to be careful. I think you could kill them. Oh, wait, because they grow back. Yeah, yeah, they grow like, so if you can cut one in half,🎙 00:25:11.08200:25:22.082
  • you’ll get two starfish, eventually. Oh, that’s cool. But if you wiggle one, you wiggle one leg, the other leg will move, supposedly. I don’t know if that’s true. That’s the thing I read. I mean, yeah, scientists on an off day.🎙 00:25:22.08200:25:35.722
  • It’s internet information, so I’m always a bit weary. But what are you saying about sponges? Like sponges, you can blend up two or three of them in a cup and just leave it to sit at the contents afterwards.🎙 00:25:35.72200:25:48.682
  • and they will separate into their the three original parts and reform really? Yep, yeah, sponges are metal as fuck. Yeah, they know. That’s actually pretty cool. Yeah, that’s terrifying. It’s also terrifying, like if they become sentient and decide to take over🎙 00:25:48.63300:26:08.553
  • or someone harnesses that technology. Yeah. That power because yeah, you can blend them. And they will reform. That’s what. Yeah. Anyway, let’s move on before my mind. Your drips out my nose. I just realized we’re actually doing the Joe Rogan experience.🎙 00:26:09.35300:26:42.553
  • Oh, are we? Yeah, we’ve got to talk about apes now. Oh, do we? So he has a couple of… It’s how apes are crazy and evolutionary, and then he talks about ayahuasca or some drug or microdosing, and then he talks about MMA.🎙 00:26:29.80400:26:48.284
  • That’s the formula. But we’re really close to bordering that right now. I mean, not really. It was just a side topic. Yeah, we got to do it for two and a half hours. And then we’re doing the drill broken.🎙 00:26:48.28400:27:00.604
  • I think your turn. Yes, I did. I did. I did. I did. Yeah. Your turn. Yeah. Okay. What title would you give your biography? I’ve just ruined this be dating because I can’t answer. Yeah. It’s a biography. I’m writing it.🎙 00:27:00.60400:27:23.261
  • It’s not. It’s an autobiography or it’s a biography written by someone else. And I’m titling it. That’s already confusing. I’m a bit pedantic for these questions. I would not do well speed dating.🎙 00:27:23.26100:27:54.261
  • Yeah, sit the parameters. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Come on. Let me know. I need to know. If it’s an autobiography, then I would naturally make fun of myself. If someone else wrote it, they might be more complimentary or derogatory.🎙 00:27:34.36900:27:51.489
  • I would say something relatively serious and then make fun of it. So it would be chunk McBeef chest, a life in dire straits. Sort of. I’d make something. stupidly long title that was actually off-putting it so that it didn’t sell.🎙 00:27:51.48900:28:10.393
  • I can’t, yeah, that’s really hard because I’d have to actually, I think you’d have to go through and get the stories and is there a common theme other than just I’m in it, like struggle or something and then you’d pull the title from that.🎙 00:28:13.59300:28:27.753
  • I think I called my Matt Gibson from G to Ibsen. That’s actually pretty good. That’s snappy because you came up with Seamik. I was like chunk of each s let’s add 10 more words to make it so that people never can search for it🎙 00:28:29.51300:28:46.933
  • And you’re like no, I was like no it has to be simple has to be simple I always do this wrong has to be simple and then you were like just don’t say the whole fucking word now I was way better. I Never would have thought of that I see me when I struggle. I always start adding🎙 00:28:47.27300:29:02.653
  • And making fun. Yeah, but making fun of the other thing. I just did Yeah Alright, I like you go sure if you wrote an autobiography we do would you be complimentary to yourself do you think I I know my my my last sentence would be like at the end at the🎙 00:29:03.23300:29:25.247
  • end of the day he was a piece of shit yeah my might be at least he tried yeah at least he tried is pretty good I don’t know I think I’d be generally complimentary I think I’d just be honest and then within that honesty I’d🎙 00:29:25.24700:29:43.747
  • probably be a little brutal so yeah I don’t know. Ah, there you go. So now we’re making better questions. You got some? No, there was my phone telling me to work out. Okay. Because normally I do.🎙 00:29:43.74700:30:01.466
  • Um, I had a question there and it’s gone now. But we’re making better questions, right? Well no, I immediately started thinking of better questions. Like, like, yeah, summarize your autobiography or the final line or something would be a🎙 00:30:01.46600:30:14.646
  • slightly better. I see your embarrassing list has the funniest thing you’ve done while drunk. But I think you’ve already answered that. Oh, I’m sure I’ve done worse. Yeah. Trying to have sex with an entire golf course is pretty epic though.🎙 00:30:14.64600:30:28.218
  • And then like speak to a raccoon like it’s my dad. You’re a dad not my dad. I’d be way more open with your dad than I would be with my dad. Yeah, yeah. So this is the second. So these are broken up into bits which I quite like.🎙 00:30:28.21800:30:45.258
  • So this is we’re back to what’s her face. Nataline. This is her second set of questions, is embarrassingly funny questions to ask. But I mean… In fact, we are more fun. Then these aren’t bad if Heather sucks🎙 00:30:45.25800:30:59.650
  • Maybe that’s on her list. Do you suck at us? Email me Do you have an embarrassing nickname? What’s the funniest thing you’ve done? Yeah, what’s the funniest thing you’ve done? Well, drunk is pretty good. What’s that? Well, we you could do yours now. What’s the funniest thing you’ve done? Well drunk or just I mean I can’t know🎙 00:31:02.29000:31:19.090
  • I’m literally can’t say for legal reasons. How about embarrassing nickname do that? I’ve never had people give me a nickname Unfortunately, I have. Oh, really? What do you think? All right, so I guess this kind of ties into being drunk.🎙 00:31:19.09000:31:35.939
  • It was all drunk with my friends while we were too young. And we kind of drank a lot and then fell asleep in my friend’s garage. It’s the best place to fall asleep. Yeah. And I start having a very vocal dream.🎙 00:31:35.93900:31:55.699
  • Oh, wow. Yeah, well, I was telling Mr. Magoo, the detective mole, to get on with the case. Oh, wow. And if he needed anything to come back and see me. So you were like the chief? Yeah, I was like the chief for Mr. Magoo,🎙 00:31:56.81900:32:11.139
  • the detective mole. My friends, this is before. Account. Cell phones or anything right yeah, so there’s no video evidence. I’m so glad I grew up in that fucking day I can I just say oh no no me too because fuck me I🎙 00:32:11.13900:32:24.776
  • I don’t think I would have been anything anymore Yeah, I don’t think I would have been like is I either I would be like a tik-tok star because I’d done so much dumb shit Or yeah, I would be a social pariah🎙 00:32:26.31600:32:36.236
  • There’s no in between though like you don’t get in between it’s either You’re awesome because you do this stuff or everyone’s I can hate you because you do this There’s no there’s no middle ground. So what was the nickname that came up it though?🎙 00:32:37.25600:32:48.127
  • Yeah, mr. Magoo. Oh, just mr. Magoo. Yeah, so then my friends just called me Magoo forever And I I kind of hated it, but I so don’t mind it. I I had some weird ones of my friends. It was Julio Smolio🎙 00:32:48.44700:33:02.407
  • Carlito spoon toe staco one eye Jesus and captain Huh? Captain’s all right. Yeah, is any because his dick was always wet. That’s all right. All right, yeah. Make sure you mark this as adult.🎙 00:33:03.24700:33:31.400
  • I mean, it always has been. I mean, the last episode probably was me talking about with the astronaut, like the gun. That’s on here. That’s on here number 12. What’s the best, uh, no, no, no, no.🎙 00:33:31.40000:33:45.000
  • What’s, what’s, where’s the meme on? Oh I mean, I did see that on the previous one. What’s the most obscure meme? Yeah, what’s your favorite kind of obscure meme? I struggle with what a meme is though.🎙 00:33:45.00000:33:55.341
  • It’s a picture. I know, I know. It’s a picture. But then like everything’s a meme now, I think. Everything’s a meme now, yeah. So like what’s your favorite thing on the internet? Yeah, basically the internet is for memes.🎙 00:33:56.34100:34:12.141
  • That song has now changed from porn to memes. Mm-hmm. The internet is for… Awkward funny questions to ask. The first one is very awkward. Oh yeah? Do you like standing up or something? I don’t know if I want to know.🎙 00:34:12.14100:34:26.020
  • Really? Go on, answer. Me, I bidet, this shit out of myself. But you don’t wipe at all. Oh no, no, no, no, it’s still wet, so you got to wipe. And then you got to check you got it all. But I am usually just pat drying, basically.🎙 00:34:26.02000:34:40.300
  • But it sits down. Yeah, because you’re not standing up getting bideted, right? No, no. The bidet in my house is so powerful. I actually have to go into the next room or it will shoot me into the next room as the people.🎙 00:34:41.22000:34:51.940
  • I want to grip onto the walls. I’m gripping the door. And I’m just trying my hardest to stay in position so that I don’t get blown into the other room. Biday is like the best thing in the world. And so like you do have to like check that you got it all🎙 00:34:51.94000:35:09.258
  • and dry yourself. You don’t want like a sopping wet butt before you pull your pants up. That’s gross. I don’t like it. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Honestly. I just, I neither want it to go inside me.🎙 00:35:09.25800:35:25.718
  • Just whoa. I see you. Nothing at all. I don’t know. Like maybe we’ve opened up a whole lot of years. You can like really stretch your butt cheeks apart and get it up there. It comes out your nose.🎙 00:35:25.71800:35:36.986
  • I have a really runny nose today. I don’t know. Me too. I have been dating too hard. Yeah, yeah, God. It just went all the way through. It got up into my sinuses, but I mean, I’m starting to breathe really well now🎙 00:35:36.98600:35:49.746
  • since I’ve been bedaying. Like while we’ve been talking. Yeah, actually this chair. What is this? The blouse hood. It’s just pumping right in. Yeah, I actually just have like a rose. I know it’s yeah.🎙 00:35:49.74600:36:04.401
  • It’s not even bidet anymore. Have you ever been enemod? No. OK. I kind of want to, though. I want to get a coffee. I had to, oh, that’s too much for me. I had the enemod, but I think I’ve told that story🎙 00:36:04.40100:36:18.121
  • like a million times. Yes. Awkward funny. Yes, that is actually awkward to start with. Have you ever blamed a fart on someone else? Constantly. I have children. Yeah, it was literally the reason I had children. I didn’t have children. I get a dog🎙 00:36:18.12100:36:34.468
  • I mean, I’ve only heard Dave fart once and I’ve I blame him for every fart in the house He’s got some of the worst there they are he he’s really quiet. He’s goes like but I fart and he starts barking🎙 00:36:34.46800:36:47.268
  • and then He was like what the fuck is that and then the The other night I was editing a video and he was barking in the background of the video and he started barking at him barking It was like this weird inception🎙 00:36:48.54800:37:02.228
  • Hmm, oh this list now, I’m gonna ask you some of them. Okay I can see him because my list is basically done. I think most of them are not crap Would you rather pee every time you laugh or shot every time you sneeze?🎙 00:37:02.22800:37:16.036
  • I Would choose the shart only because I laugh a lot more than I sneeze. Yeah, I would go the same logic man But is the shark this again? I can’t do I can’t answer the question without setting the parameter🎙 00:37:17.07600:37:30.956
  • So I understand it fully like when they say shart is it like you fart in a tiny bit of poop comes out Or you like literally shit yourself the entire time Yeah, yeah, I guess. Because if it’s like a massive, like, I sneeze and then I like blow my pants off because I’ve🎙 00:37:30.95600:37:44.869
  • shat so much, that’s a problem. And then P, is it like a little P or a lot? Because if it’s just like a tiny, like… If it’s P though, you could wear an adult diaper and just get a cutie day. Or wear a tampon.🎙 00:37:44.86900:37:59.109
  • No, tampon. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take the tampon and just stretch it over the top of your penis. You’d have to be like rock hard all day to keep it on though. See, I went the other way. Oh, stick it in there.🎙 00:37:59.10900:38:12.509
  • Okay. I actually, I did condom covering. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think… I feel as if it’d be a better… Oh god. This is literally just a question of poly… That’s what I meant. No, no, no. We just…🎙 00:38:12.50900:38:27.046
  • You need volume before you can answer that question. If I laugh and a drop of P comes out, I wouldn’t even notice. If I sneeze and I like poo is running down my leg, I would notice. Yeah. I might sneeze some more.🎙 00:38:27.04600:38:45.046
  • Awkward text you once sent to the… wrong person. We were in an office chat and I was complaining about my co-worker and because we were complaining about my co-worker I’d clicked on her name. I was literally just sending her🎙 00:38:45.04600:38:56.723
  • the shit I was unhappy about. And she’s sitting across from me just reading the chat. She knows this is not going to her. And I’m just like, are you sure you’re not getting these messages? She’s such a f***ing… And then about about 10 messages in I realized what I’d done. And then I was like,🎙 00:38:56.72300:39:13.043
  • look, okay, I was like, I was like, okay, I can save it. I was like, okay, done venting. I really have a serious conversation about, you know… and just adjusting attitude. And everything was fine.🎙 00:39:13.04300:39:23.963
  • Uh, yeah. She never had a problem ever again. Yeah, she quit that year. No, it wasn’t better for all of us. Yeah. Okay. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever smelled? Oh, cause you know you’ve smelled stuff🎙 00:39:23.96300:39:40.443
  • and it makes you like choke vomit. I’m trying to think though. Cause I feel like regular answers, the stuff like other vomit poop. Yeah, cause I pick up. I pick up dog shit and so every now and then you get a really strong dog shit you oh🎙 00:39:40.44300:39:57.036
  • You get one of those I don’t know. I’m kind of immune to it. Oh now. I’m just saying like Sometimes yeah, it’s pretty rare now, but it has happened like I remember when I was a kid And I had to like clean up the yard🎙 00:39:57.65600:40:10.056
  • It was just like ten things of dog shit and it was like number eight was fine and then number nine You’re like oh, oh, oh, oh, like I don’t know what happened that day, but I Yeah, and like vomit. I’m okay with🎙 00:40:10.05600:40:22.036
  • I’m alright with my family’s vomit. I think knowing where it came from. This is also you’ve had kids know Your relationship to poop and vomit changes when you have a baby. It so does. Because I basically poop doesn’t bug me anymore at all.🎙 00:40:22.03600:40:37.549
  • I’ve had it all over my hands. Yeah, under my fingernails. I remember the first time I got under my fingernails. I was like, oh, I did the third time. He just like, oh, yeah, I got to clean that.🎙 00:40:37.54900:40:47.549
  • Some mushrooms smell really bad. You know I love mushrooms. Yes. Now everyone else does too. Some of them smell. Whoo! Deepish funny questions. We’ve actually done 40 minutes. We’ll do a little more.🎙 00:40:47.54900:41:03.549
  • Oh, holy shit, really? Yeah, it goes pretty fast. How long would you survive? Seriously though? How long do you think you would survive in his zombie apocalypse? I think I would survive reasonably well because I know how to survive in the wild.🎙 00:41:03.54900:41:20.990
  • Oh okay. I was a very good boy scout. Very good. My dad was in the forces. He always took his out in the wilderness. He taught me how to catch his skin rabbits, how to fish and cook. This is Joe Rogan.🎙 00:41:21.71000:41:48.190
  • Yeah, okay. He’s a big bow hunter. Oh, okay. I listened to Joe Rogan before he went completely off the rails. For like two years he was really good. And then I still only listened to the people I was interested in, but because they are🎙 00:41:41.28900:41:58.109
  • like two, three hours long. Then he just got like his podcast and Conan O’Brien got into they stopped being interviewers and now it’s just a platform for them to speak. Just, okay. He talks more than the guests sometimes where it used to be he was like, I understand I🎙 00:41:58.10900:42:14.029
  • don’t know as much as you do. So I’m going to ask you questions. And then by interviewing lots of people he thinks he’s related knowledge. Yes. But he was an anti-vaxxer and shit. So. Which makes me think he’s a fucking one.🎙 00:42:14.02900:42:27.106
  • I sell something I talk about a lot actually though because like my family never want to go camping the way I want to go camping. Yeah they don’t understand. Like I mean I want us to have fun camping but I kind of want to teach them how to do🎙 00:42:27.10600:42:41.946
  • stuff. How to do stuff. Yeah. Yeah. How to be like I don’t have this thing and then how to make it or do it or get it. So I think I do alright. How about you? I think over confidence would be my downfall.🎙 00:42:41.94600:43:00.346
  • If It’s okay. I can’t see and that’s always going to be the problem if I lose my glasses my glasses break or my eyes deteriorate Oh shit. I’m fucked. Yeah Because I actually had a friend said like in a post-apocalyptic world🎙 00:43:00.34600:43:16.152
  • Peter would do really well if you could get his hands on things Because I know I can kill stuff with my hands really really well But I have to but then if you think about the process of getting something in your hands. I can’t do it🎙 00:43:17.03200:43:28.672
  • No, and it’s risky. Yeah, and there’s zombies around so zombies. I Actually think I think I would think I’m gonna do good and then get fucked pretty early on. I think I’d be one of the zombies pretty fast because I probably try to fight🎙 00:43:28.67200:43:42.661
  • them in some premise. Yeah, maybe even like to be noble. Yeah, but seriously, I probably would. And then zombies get up and then there’s yeah. And then another one bites me from behind because I’ve never fought like eight guys at the same time. So I think my overconfidence🎙 00:43:42.66100:43:57.501
  • would be my downfall. And so actually, I think I would do really well. And then I would die in the second or third day with confidence. I would die with confidence. you could come and stay with me.🎙 00:43:57.50100:44:10.938
  • Oh, yay. So you can trap stuff and then I’ll kill it with my hands. Nice. Ah, we keep them around. Number six, let’s do number six and then we’ll finish. Okay. Yeah. Oh, shit. This is the same.🎙 00:44:10.93800:44:27.738
  • I, okay. So the question is what funny saying would be written on your tombstone to describe your life, the life you lived. I again, I’m going to ruin the question. So you go first. On my tombstone.🎙 00:44:27.73800:44:59.418
  • I think I think uh, no, I want to have some kind of pun and now I can’t think of anything That one that went anything boring like like here lies Loving father and husband better fuck that shit maybe just something like like🎙 00:44:41.45100:44:58.731
  • Like inhale. It’s always a heavy battle party I Don’t want a tombstone. I kind of want to be for don’t want a tombstone either Yeah, I don’t want to be buried and have like a specific place that people feel like they have to come to🎙 00:44:59.45100:45:14.411
  • Creamate and throw it away. Yeah, like, but if I read me with a new tree, oh, that’s nice. Yeah, something if I had a tombstone. I Would want to have some side a gimmick on it like says something relatively serious, but it has a flap you can lift up🎙 00:45:14.41100:45:29.638
  • Or like an LED screen. So but no, no, but something something’s like I actually weirdly would want to make it interactive Like oh wait, there’s something you can do and then it’s like ends up or make a gamer🎙 00:45:30.57800:45:39.898
  • Like I don’t know I would want to make it so that it looks really boring But if you take the time to look at it, there’s something really cool there. So like one of those sliding puzzle things. Oh yeah, like that or a door and then🎙 00:45:39.89800:45:52.673
  • door like a door you open the door. Yeah, something. I think that that’s that actually sums me up. Like I would I would want looking on the outside but but if you go in there, got some shit, it’s great.🎙 00:45:53.31300:46:08.673
  • Right. Okay, yes, we will stop there. So I’m in the stream. Yeah, now you know all about us. You know exactly what kind of people we are. And then from this point forward, we’ll do topics. We made some topics.🎙 00:46:08.67300:46:40.433
  • Yeah. We would appreciate more. Yeah. If anyone’s listening, anyone, anyone, please help me. Send some time. Send topics. Yeah. That’s like, send nudes. But send topic. Send nudes. No, let’s not take that off the table.🎙 00:46:24.14100:46:44.381
  • Send nudes. Men or women, I’m just, I just want to be, I just want to say I got nudes. Yeah. I don’t even want to look at them. That’s what I say I got. If you’re a raccoon, listening. Send nudes. You have to fuck an animal. Go.🎙 00:46:44.38100:47:01.735
  • Three, two, you can’t, you’re taking too long already. No, open. Oh. Same answer. Yeah. So mate. Okay. That’s a perfect place to stop. Alright, God. You