Japanese Kid Show Horror


This is a sort of redo of the original
podcast. I talked about some Japanese kids

shows that you might not be familiar
with and it is a part of Japanese culture

and therefore elements of it are weird
as shit. I should have checked how many

seconds it was before I said shit
because YouTube will. I don’t monetize

anyways whatever you’re going to worry
about it. There are two very common little

little kids shows in Japan. A couple
weeks ago on Engineers Japan I was talking

about coming writer. It’s a very common
show but it’s for like you know it’d be

six, seven, eight years old to really
get into it. There’s a lot of anime and

stuff. I actually find the kids get into
anime that’s popular even though it’s

I would say to adult I don’t mean
like adult sexy adult. I mean like cutting

off heads and stuff. Demon Slayer. My
daughter was for a really long time going

like I don’t want to watch scary movies.
The movies in TV shows you watch the

very violent, very scary. Then Demon
Slayer was popular and she watched Demon

Slayer. It had way more violence in it
than a lot of the stuff that I was I was

trying to watch with her. You can’t you
can’t argue with what’s popular. I mean

that’s actually what it comes down to.
What’s popular is what the kids want to

watch regardless of whether it’s
appropriate or not. The first show is

“emba man.” “emba
man” “empa is a kind of

bread” and “man” is
“man” so “emba man” is like

bread dude. Bread guy. Bread man. It is one
of the biggest shows in Japanese history.

Started in 1973 so it’s been going for like
50-152 years up until 2013. That was the

comic when the author of the comic died.
So an entire career based off a

single character which is pretty impressive
because it’s been that successful.

Around 1998 started a TV
show. The TV show is still

ongoing now. It is a
it’s a kids show. It’s like…

“Doraimon” I don’t
enjoy “Doraimon”

actually was one of
the first things I tried

to read when I was learning Japanese
was “Doraimon” because I found kids can be

pretty simple. Problem is it was really
boring because these stories are so

formulaic and this is a problem with
kids shows. They are formulaic if you’re

going to watch them
as not a child. Because I

guess it’s good for kids
they get the same pattern

so they kind of understand what’s going on.
Like even if they don’t 100% understand

what’s going on. “Doraimon” the kid
wants something. “Doraimon” says “I’ll give

you this thing” but
you gotta be careful with

it. The kid abuses it,
messes up his whole

life and then they fix
it together. They learn

a lesson until the
next week. So the irony

to me is in “Doraimon” the lessons never
stick. So what’s the point of learning a

lesson every single
week or every single

episode or every single
comic if none of the

lessons stick. The
lesson is almost always

don’t abuse this thing
you have. Don’t abuse

the power. Don’t abuse
whatever. The kid does

and then he goes “Wow
I won’t do that again”

and then like the next episode he does the
exact same. “Umpomons” is not so different.

My kids watched it. I
always had a bet. So this

is sincere. I always
had a bad feeling about

“Umpomons” there was
something about it that I found

insidious. We did have an
event in my house where

we got a CD. “Umpon
Min is totally different”

“Umpomons is not totally
different” he’s piece of shit.

“It’s just good versus
evil. Bring it, it yet.” Well

let me get into it then
because I think you might

just be wrong. I think
it might just be evil

versus evil but we’ll need
one get into that. Okay.

We had an incident in my
house. We had an incident

in my house where we
got an episode of Barney,

the big purple dinosaur
thing and I thought “Ah

I’ve seen clips of it on
the Internet. People are

singing the stupid love.
I love you. You love me

song.” So I thought “Okay
that’s gonna be pretty

innocent” and then mid
show they started singing

the song. It was a song
about how America is the

greatest country in the
world and I turned it off

and I said “We’re not
watching this anymore and I

threw out that tape.” The
kids didn’t understand the

poem but I was like “This
American centric idea was

not going to be
introduced to my children as

America being the greatest
country in the world.”

It was a problem for
I think international

distribution of a TV
show. It’s very hard to say

we’re going to be very
patriotic in our show and

then sell that to other
countries where you’re

basically saying “Yeah
the country you live in,

kind of shit, country
you live in?” Number two,

it best because America is the greatest
show, the greatest country in the world.

I was sitting there going
like “Okay I don’t want

to introduce that. I don’t
want my kids thinking

America is the greatest
country in the world that

has its issues.” Japan
has its issues but if I was

gonna choose, I would
choose Japan every time to

be honest, I was thinking
about these shows as

I was watching with my
kids in a different way. I’m

bum-bum so let’s get to
the concepts and the base.

It has been one of the
highest ranked hero shows for

the entirety of its run
for under 12-year-olds in

Japan. It’s a very
popular show. Pretty much

every Japanese person
you meet will know the show,

they’ll know about the
characters and whatnot.

Um-bum-bum is the main
character. There are a lot of

the heroes, our food-based
head characters. It’s

not like we have a word
for anthropomorphic animals

which is a lot of the
other characters. I guess

it’s anthropomorphic food
but then I would think of.

a bun, forming legs and the
bun is the body and the head

whereas “Empelman” has what
in this show is a human body

with a bread head on
it which is already very

disturbing if you think
about it. Still, kids show so

we’re gonna forgive
that element of the

Frankenstein element of
it. There are fruit people,

so there’s food
people, so there’s like

“Shokapamman” which
is like white bread head,

There’s “Ampelman” which
is just you know bread head.

I think it’s the red bean
paste in it. There’s a

couple more. I don’t
know. I haven’t watched the

show in a long time.
Then there’s the bad guy,

technically the bad
guy, “Bikingman” which

translates to “Bacteria
Man” is gold is to cover the

world in bacteria
which in a weird way is

actually done because
if you think about it,

everyone’s covered in
bacteria, everything’s covered

in bacteria, “Bikingman”
has actually already won the

war. His manifesto of “I Will Cover the
World in Bacteria” already successful. Mr.

Warren has put in the chat
“Yaki-Soba-Pon-Man” so “Pon

is Bread” so it’s “Yaki-Soba”
which is like a noodle

that put the noodles in
the bread. I have to make

sure that people know
what we’re talking about.

Then they take that
contraption and they

make a head out of it
and put it on him. Now,

I didn’t watch all a lot
of episodes. I watched

a bunch. “Bon-Man”
seems to have the only

head that’s replaceable.
This is a big important

thing. If “Bon-Man” meets
you and I’m hungry. I’m

just in the forest and
I’m lost and I’m hungry,

“Bon-Man” can bend
down and I can eat his head

already again, very
disturbing, but kids show and

I think it’s weird and
funny and they like it,

so I’m not going to
complain about that aspect of

it. I think their goal is
to say like you should

share with other people.
Pretty nice sentiment. I don’t

think you should share
your body with other people.

That’s not the message
I would be going for. Then

he gets weaker though,
so if you eat some of his

head, he has less
physical power. If the bread

that is his head gets
dirty, he has less physical

power. That’s very
important. So there is the old

man who bakes the bread
heads, so I don’t know

if there’s some kind of
voodoo power being inserted

into the bread, how
he does this, to create a

non-sensient head that
connects to the body. Usually

what happens is “Bon-Man’s
bread head is dirty.”.

He gets weak and then the
old dude in Mr. Wormhans

is trying to make
sure I say this, “Jammu

Ozzisa.” He throws
ahead, displacing the original

head, connecting
instantaneously, making a brand

new ompamans. The brain
is in the boat question. If

I replace every part of a
boat, at what point am I?

Do I have a new boat?
If I do it plank by plank,

what point does my boat
become new? If I replace

a head, is he the same
thing? Does he have the same

values? Where is his
heart and memories and his

animal? Where is that
stored? Because it actually

seems to be weak, we
think of it being in your head.

But if you dispose of the
head, your boat’s feelings,

experiences would go
with it, so it’s a fresh

person. I don’t know.
They don’t ever explain it.

Again, kids show they’re
not getting into this

scientific aspect. Or to me, this would
be clearly mystical aspect of the show.

“Jammu Ozzisa” is
doing some wild wild stuff

out there. One of
the main plot lines of

‘ampaman’ is that he is
bringing food to people

who need food. The
counter to that is that

biking man wants
food. Usually, biking man

creates a large overly
complicated machine, like a

Mac or something. He will
use that to fight ‘ampaman’

for the food. And then
‘ampaman’ will defeat.

He usually beats up
biking man and he’ll find

one he doesn’t ‘ampunch’
and he punches him and

biking man flies away in
the sun. It’s a consistent

joke on the show. The
distribution of these

foods has no oversight.
But that is always one of

the… There’s no government
oversight, there’s no

authority figure. This
world is completely devoid of

any authoritarian oversight
over ‘ampaman’. He is a

free entity and he is
unmatched in his abilities.

So he decides exclusively
on his own on what is good

and what is evil. So you
have… ‘ampaman’ decides

this group needs and
wants food. I will give them

food. Biking man, who
I do not like, he wants

and needs foods, I will
not give him food. Biking

man, who is hungry, tries
to take the food for himself

because he is not being
given any, like everyone

else in the world. And
then he is beaten for his

efforts. So that to me
does not sound like a hero.

That does not sound to
me like someone I should

aspire towards. That
does not sound to me

like the archetype of a good person. That
sounds to me like a dictator. ‘ampaman’.

and make any blanket
decision for any reason and no

one can stand in his way.
So that to me is already…

This is sort of a dictatorial
element to the world

they live in. So these
people who do get food

and do not get food.
That’s under ‘ampaman’s

rule’. It’s his decision
exclusively and no one can

fight back. And if you do
fight back, you get beaten

down for your efforts.
You get punched into the

sun on a weekly basis.
Why? Because you don’t

have food. You want
food. You need to get food.

There’s been no
conversation, no diplomacy, no

aspect of trying to
create some sort of peace

between ‘biking man’ and
‘ampaman’ because ‘ampaman’

will not listen to him.
They’ve never been able to

have that discussion.
That to me is one of the

bigger concerns. That is a
comedic version of looking

at the show. There is the
very real problem in that

I have two children. My
son and my daughter were

watching ‘ampaman’.
And as I said, at the end

of every episode basically,
‘ampaman’ looks at

‘biking man’ goes, ‘arm
punch’ and hits him and he goes

into the sun. ‘son’ then
looked at his sister when.

‘arm punch’ and then decked
her in the face as hard as he could.

That was the moment
when I realized that in

real life, ‘ampaman’ is
setting a bad example. I

will make jokes about the
violence in shows. That’s

a bad example. This
isn’t what you should do.

Ha ha ha. The reality
is, this is exactly what

it taught my son. When
he sees a sister is long

he says, ‘ampan’ she can punch her in
the face and it’s perfectly acceptable.

Which to me is the core
issue and why in my house

‘ampaman’ is not a very
popular character anymore

because I wouldn’t let
the kids watch them. My

wife growing up, Japanese,
didn’t see the issue.

You know about the
Christian allegory of ‘ampan’

man? Mr. Warmhands has
just put you know about the

Christian allegory of
‘ampaman’ and ‘no I don’t’.

Is this the resurrection?
So he’s changing his

head is his resurrection.
Is that what we’re

going to go for?
Mr. Warmhands has sent us

the connection between
Christians and ‘ampaman’.

So I’m going to go
through their statements

and we can do a quick analysis of those.
There is what is it, uh,

the lion in the witch in the wardrobe
apparently is a whole Jesus allegory.

Not knowing a whole
lot about Jesus if I’m

being really honest.
Some of my friends actually

find a laughable how
little I know about religion.

Um, a lot of this stuff
doesn’t make it like I don’t

see it. One of the
interesting aspects of being

raising my kids in Japan
as a sort of failed Christian

that in my daughter I
think she was about eight

or nine. We passed by
a church when we were

talking about the church
and she’s like, “What is

it?” And I go, “Do you
know Jesus?” And she’s like,

“No.” So I would say
as far as characters go,

Jesus might be one of the
most famous characters my

daughter didn’t know
him. Right? I was weirdly

proud about him. But
anyways, this is from Osaka

Church. So a church in
Osaka has created a link

between ‘ampaman’ and
‘Jesus’. This actually is

going to be a theme that’s
going to return probably

next month where we
talk about Jesus in Japan.

It’s in Japanese and
English, which is awesome.

Well, the first question
is, what is the connection

between ‘ampaman’ and
‘Jesus’? What they want to

do is take a popular its
character and connect

to Jesus and maybe draw
in those children. I can

see that’s actually kind
of an ugly tactic to me.

But you know, I get
it. They are both living

bread. Yes, I know.
When you go to church,

I believe it’s Catholic
church. You drink the

wine that is his blood
and then you eat the

wafer that is his bread.
The bread is his body.

So you can actually
eat the body of Christ,

the body in blood of Christ. You can
actually eat the body of ‘ampaman’. Mr.

My name is Collek,
correcting me. I think

when I start making
statements about religion,

the corrections will
be so vast that they will

be almost unnecessary.
So let’s just agree to

the fact that I’m only
going to know the big

bits and the big bits
that I learned from TV and

movies because I
certainly didn’t learn it in

church. Takashi Yayasai,
the author of ‘ampaman’,

a popular Japanese
anime, is a Christian. An

‘ampaman’ is the allegory
of Jesus. When I found

out about that, I was
so excited to find the

gospel in the story of
‘ampaman’. This feels like

they’re working really
hard to make this work.

But Mary conceived Jesus
by the power of the Holy

Spirit. On the day of
his birth, it is said that

a big, right star appeared.
Oh, I do remember this

isn’t the opening. A big
star goes down into the

chimney where Gem
Ojisan is baking the bread.

Oh my god, that’s actually
pretty good. Jesus always

helped the poor weaken
sick people unless it was

someone he didn’t like.
Oh wait, that’s ‘ampaman’.

Jesus always helped the
poor weaken sick people.

So he’s ‘ampaman’ always comes to the
rescue of those who cry out for help. If

biking man were to cry
out for help or to ask

for food, he would be
refused and then beaten

terribly. Those were
those were were healed.

Those are those just
type of those were healed.

And saved by Jesus
now found new life in him.

So basically, yeah,
you eat part of his head.

You get healthier. I
mean, it’s just food.

I don’t know. It’s,
again, it’s a bit tough.

Those who are given
bread from ‘ampaman’ regain

strength and became
fully energized. So I guess

they’re kind of relating
that to like Jesus

touched the leper and
healed him and he had more

energy. These kids in the food, in the show
that he gives food to tend to just be lost.

They’re not really in
that. There’s an image

that didn’t load and the
alt title for the images

eat my face. I think
maybe they downloaded the

images from other sources
and people who are saying

like weird things. Jesus gave his
life for our sins and gave us new life.

‘ampaman rescues
others by sharing a piece of

his own sweet bread
face with those in need.

Often ‘ampaman’ gets
beaten up in battles with

biking man, the antagonist,
or is exhausted by

sharing a part. We kind of went over that.
You eat part of his head against weaker.

Jesus resurrects after his
death, he wins over death

and give hope to people
and change their lives.

In this picture, for the
people listening to the

podcast, ‘ampaman’ is
actually removing his own

head and then accepting
a new head from

Jamojisan, who in this
analogy would be God, like

soon. He regains his
health and strength when

Uncle John Bakes had
the new head placed under.

the official. He defeats
his enemy. I think they’re

making biking man out
to be Satan. The problem

being that biking man
really just wants to live

in peace. He wants to
be left alone. He wants

to eat some food. The
food that everyone else is

getting the partake of
so freely. Why is he being

excluded? He is meant to be Satan. I
don’t think that’s a fair, fair comparison.

When I was a child, as I
was watching ‘ampaman’,

I thought he was different
from other heroes and

there were several things
I couldn’t understand. Why

does ‘ampaman’ share
part of his face made out of

bread when he knows
that he will become weak by

doing that? He does it
because it’s an obligation.

It’s sort of the desire to
maintain power because

if his subjects look up
to him and see him is the

sole source of power
and health, then they

will be forever subjected
to him. That’s why.

Why does he just release
biking man even though he

knows he’ll come back?
That is actually not what

happens. That is my complaint.
He doesn’t just release

him. He beats him and
then punches him into the

sun. That isn’t just release
him. I guess maybe in

a certain Christian view,
that’s how you release

people, but I don’t think
that’s the right way to do

it. But because now I know
Jesus, I can understand

‘ampaman’. True hero is
the one who can give himself

to others. No, not always.
Oh wait, there is an image,

an image from the old cartoon of ‘ampaman’
giving part of his head to biking man.

That might be the one that
underpant, underminds my theory.

From ‘On Panman’
Wiki, Bay Kinman’s design

was heavily based on
Vialzabo of the Christian

religion. The Dix-Yo-Nearing-Fernal
describes Vialzabo

as a demonic fly who is
also known as the Lord of

the Flies, which was an
inspiration for bacon mince

fly like appearance.
He’s also a personification

of the black bread mold,
Rizopistelonifer, which

was found on bread surfaces
and causes damage to

bread, which would make bacon men an enemy
to ‘On Panman’, who’s head is a bread.

It’s obvious that ‘On
Panman’ does not exist, but

Jesus is still living
today. I have some issues

with that statement
because why is it so obvious

that Jesus exists in
‘On Panman’ isn’t? I think

there is actually enough
proof for both. And to be

honest, I’ve seen more
stories about ‘On Panman’

than I have about
Jesus.’ He gave not the

part of his body, but
he gave his life to us

the living bread that will
last forever. ‘On the cross

Jesus says, ‘Eat my
bread of life, believe in me,

receive eternal life,
and…’ I don’t think that’s

what ‘Bike’ ‘On Panman’
says when he does it, though.

Becoming a Christian,
having a relationship

with God, he’s dropped
to ‘On Panman’ parts now,

just talking about how
you can become a Christian.

That’s not what
I’m looking for in life.

The author clearly set out heavily
inspired by the stories of the Bible.

I mean, the Bible doesn’t
have Jesus punching

Satan to death and then
throwing him into the sun.

So I actually would disagree with that.
To me, the core element is that final scene

where he does the ‘On
Punch.’ I mean, there’s the

turn the other cheek
bit, but then you keep just

dismissing the aspect
of ‘On Punch.’ ‘On Kick.’

He is a violent and
inherently violent character

who sees violence as the solution
to every problem that is brought up.

Obviously, creative liberties were
taken with the concept of Jesus,

where it’s now Jesus
on the cross and he does

that stupid kung fu
thing and he pulls it out,

and he’s got the pieces of wood still using
these sorts of nailing people with those.

That’s the creative Liberty we’re talking
about because that is what happened.

And you aren’t obnoxious, Ben.

I’m an obvious pettent.

Well, I think you’ve missed the
point of this whole episode then.

Because if I didn’t do
the pettentry, then we

wouldn’t have the
entertaining aspect of the show.

That’s when you’ll get Jesus’
eating Satan into the sun.

I want to see. I want to
see get when Jesus beats

him in and down and then
punches him into the sun,

then the comparison
between ‘Unpo Man and

Jesus’ will solidify in
my head and my heart.

So in the real world,
beyond just the stupid

joke I made, I actually
do not think ‘Unpo Man’

is a good show for children.
Anything that teaches

kids to solve issues
with violence, as a real

final option is not a
good show. And the fact

that kids actually did
emulate what they saw

that to me that’s a real world
example of why that was not acceptable.

There is another show.
And it’s a show that in

real life I do quite
enjoy. I actually quite

like the songs I like
the stories I actually

quite liked most of what
they did in a show called

Shimajito. Shimajito is
a little tiger and basically

every lesson is be
polite, be kind, be friendly.

That’s kind of a thing I
can get behind as a parent,

as someone who’s
actually watching this show,

hoping that kids pick
up some lessons. They

spend an odd and an
amount of time talking about

toilet training. Like
you need to tell your

parents when your P
bucket is full. And that’s.

a good lesson for the
kid and it’s very helpful

for the parent. If the
kid is very comfortable

telling you, as we’re
about to get in the car, my

P buckets full, then you
can take them, they can go

P, you will solve a problem
before it becomes an

issue. So I appreciated
Shimajito is a little tiger.

This is an anthropomorphic
show. All the characters

in Shimajito are animals
that act like people,

their sentient, they speak,
they walk around, they

have jobs, they do
things, they live their lives.

There’s a girl in his
class, his friends, a little

cat and a little parent
person. There is a raccoon

who’s very selfish, who
has a Butler, apparently

Butler and the goat
in in Japanese, who’s a

play on words, but I don’t
remember it right now.

And then there are two
bully kids in their pigs,

bit on the nose, but
whatever. The interesting

thing to me, when I
started doing an analysis of

this show, just mentally,
so I’m watching the show

with my kids and it’s
not particularly engaging

for the parents. I’m not
the target audience, so

that’s not a complaint.
That’s just the reality.

I think people need to start taking
sort of target audiences into account.

Like if I’m not the target
audience and I don’t

like it, that shouldn’t
be a complaint about the

thing I’m watching, the media I’m watching.
Shimajito’s favorite food is beef steak.

No, it’s not a steak.
Japanese beef steak is

ground beef into a
Patty, they put sort of a

demiglass sauce on
the top, they serve with

rice, he likes ground
beef patties. That’s fine.

But if you listen to what
I had just presented to

you, all the animals in this
show are anthropomorphic

animals and Shimajito’s
favorite food is beef.

Which leads us down a
very dark pan. Because I

either, there are cows,
as we know them, that

are food cows, but for
some reason they are not

anthropomorphic. I don’t
remember ever seeing

a cow in the show.
Or, and this is the really

sort of Sci-Fi dystopian,
soil and green version of

the story. There are
anthropomorphic cows who are

essentially a race of
people. I did always wonder

about crossbreeding.
There are anthropomorphic

cows. They are essentially
their own species. I

don’t know, I was talking
about the crossbreeding.

So because Shimajito
is a tiger and a little

girl in this class is a
cat, but they’re both

anthropomorphic. So could
they get together? Could

the cat get together
with the parent? Or is it

just like animal
species only parrots can

get together or only
tigers can get together?

It would create sort
of barriers, almost racial

species barriers between
the kids. It would create.

difficult aspects to
living sometimes. Because

maybe you fall in love
with someone you can’t

breed with. Will is that the purpose of the
relationship? I don’t know. This is, again,

love doesn’t listen to
genetics, but they’re

living in anthropomorphic
worlds. So they are

different from the animals
we know. So I did kind

of want to know the
rules, but I get it. It’s

kids cartoon show. I’m
not going to get too deep

into it, but the
anthropomorphic cows and beef

being a food stuff in
the show was problematic

to me. Because
there has to be a farm,

which I would probably call an internment
can of anthropomorphic cows that are being

red and raised, murdered
and ground up for food

so that Shimajito can
have beef. And then I was

thinking, is it just
this one, is it just beef

cows? Is it just cows? Are
the cow people somehow

different from the other
ones? Because that led

me back to maybe they
aren’t anthropomorphic,

but I don’t remember
everything in the show. So

we have the two bullies,
the two pig bully kids.

I wondered, okay, do we
ever see them eat pork?

Because that would set
up an in-world rule set.

Like if it’s an
anthropomorphic animal, that

food does not get eaten.
Therefore, they have

laws and rules. If it
is an anthropomorphic

thing and we eat pork,
maybe there are two kinds,

there are non anthropomorphic
pigs, anthropomorphic

pigs and we eat them,
but wouldn’t that be

weird? Because we have
anthropomorphic people and

we would have, I guess,
the closest thing would

be simmians, so some
kind of gorilla or monkey

or something and we eat
those. I can see people

having sort of moral issues with that
because they’re so closely related to us.

I started at that point
looking out for, do they ever

eat pork on the show? Do
they ever bake in? Do they

ever have a ham sandwich,
that kind of stuff? I never

caught them doing it,
but that was at the tail end

of when my kids were
watching Shima Giudos. I didn’t

get to see enough shows
to make a full sample size.

It is something I tried
to look up on the Internet.

Weirdly, I don’t think
anyone else has had these

thoughts. Do they
eat pigs in a show with

anthropomorphic pigs? Do
they eat beef in a show with

anthropomorphic cows?
Has no one ever looked at

that? It made me wonder
why is no one wondered

why Shima Giudos loves
beef so much and then one day,

let’s say if Shima Giudos
goes feral, he’s out in

the world, he sees an
anthropomorphic cow and

he just goes and eats
it. This is a pretty dark

underbelly to the show
which causes me great

concern because what is
the message, the message is

that maybe there are
classes of people, a class

of people that should
not be eaten, a class of

people that should be,
that is acceptable to eat.

Where is the morality in
this world is the question

I’m asking? So we end
up with a soil and green

type situation and I’m
wondering what the world’s

all about because Shima
Giudos really seems like it

lives in a world with no
morals. And at that point,

again, is this a show I
should be showing to my kids?

Because what if my children
have inherited aspects

of my personality, let’s
say, maybe they’ve inherited

some of that analytical
ability and they grow

watching Shima Giudos,
they see Shima Giudos, where

they’re like, “Hey, maybe it’s acceptable
to eat a certain class of people.”.