The KFC Incident

I have   my two   domokuns.

I have   my little   Dark Souls   guy.

I got   my cross  -stitch alien  from the  movie Alien. 

Oh, I   can see   the shape   of it.

Yeah.

That is   one of   my favorite   things I   own.

That’s fantastic. 

Did you   make it?

No, no,   no.

I don’t   have that   talent.

One of   our coworkers  used to  cross  -stitch for   fun,

and she   made this   for me   for my   birthday.

So it   cost her   the frame,  which is  probably   just a   piece,

but it’s   so awesome. 

Yeah.

No, it’s   really good. 

To have   cross -stitch  mixed   with aliens  is such  a – 

cross -stitch  is like  a mellow  activity, and  then there’s  an alien. 

Oh, awesome. 

And it   looks amazing,  too.

It does.

You can   tell the   shape even   from all   the way   over here.

My most   expensive toy,  probably   this guy.

He’s from   Dark Souls. 

He worships   the sun.

Anyone who  plays Dark  Souls   probably knows  this guy, 

and this   cost me   a stupid   amount of   money.

Is that   the get  -good guy? 

No.

So Dark   Souls is   a really   –

like it   is a   dark fantasy, 

so most   of the   people we   meet are   like really  mopey and  sad.

And he’s   like, I’m   trying to   find the   sun.

Let’s engage  in   jolly cooperation. 

Oh.

So there’s  a   phrase called  jolly   cooperation,

and then   you can  call   him – 

if you  save   his life, 

you can  call   him to  help   you with  boss   fights.

He helped  me   finish the  first   game,

which I   was struggling  with,

which I  have   deep, deep  affection

because I  put   a lot  of   work into  saving   him.

And Dark  Souls,   as I  hear,

because I’ve  never   played it, 

is an  extremely   frustrating   experience.

I think  this   is a  demonstration   of people’s  patience.

So I  don’t   think Dark  Souls   is hard  at   all.

What it  does   is are  you   able to  keep   going?

So you  can   level up. 

So you  level   up by  killing   stuff,

and you  get   their souls  or   whatever,

and then  you   level up. 

So if  I   go fight  a   boss and  it’s   too hard, 

I can  go   and just  level   up.

And most  people   aren’t patient  enough   to do   that.

So you  either   have to  be   really good  at   the game, 

which I  don’t   claim to  be   really good  at   anything,

or have  the   patience to  go   and kill  stuff

and then  come   back when  you’re   overpowered

and you  beat   them really  easily.

But I  think   people are  so   impatient

that they  can’t   do it. 

So then  they   die a  bunch   of times, 

and they’re  like,   I hate  this   game.

Okay.

But is  that   not every  game?

I don’t. 

This takes  it   up.

That’s formula. 

Yeah.

It takes  it to  a   higher level,  though.

Like, I  think   most games, 

like when  you   get to  a   boss,

you expect  to   be able  to   beat the  boss,

which is  not   necessarily true, 

because Dark  Souls   doesn’t necessarily  have   a linear  path.

So you   can get   to a  boss   who’s way  too   hard for  you,

and you  have   a choice. 

You can  try and  try   and try  and   try,

or you  can   go away  and   come back. 

The first  boss   in every  Dark   Souls game 

is too  hard   for you  to   beat,

and so  it’s   trying to  teach   you to  run   away.

And some  people   don’t learn  that   lesson,

so they  don’t   get past  that   first part. 

That’s it, 

because they’re  applying   the same  approach

they have  for   different games  to   this one. 

Video games,  I   think, teach  you,

like, okay,  you’re   here.

You should  be   able to  finish   this.

Where Dark  Souls   is like,  you’re   here.

This guy’s  way   too hard. 

Maybe you’ve  got   to go  off   and learn  something

or do  something   and then  come   back.

This is  a   double -edged  sword   of open  -world   games,

I think, 

because as  much   as I  love   the idea, 

and I  love   claiming to  say

I like   to play  open  -world games, 

I find  them   quite overwhelming. 

I do  do   them,

but it  kind   of,

it puts   a more, 

rather than  having   an adventure 

in this  open   world,

I consider  it   this area, 

complete these, 

this checklist  I’ve   created or  found,

then the  next   area.

It doesn’t  feel   like an  adventure   to me. 

Oh, it’s   like work? 

Yeah.

That’s how  I   felt a  little   bit

with the  Breath   of the  Wild

and Tears  of   the Kingdom  Zelda   games,

which were  open  -world games. 

I like  open  -world games 

because I  just   mess around 

and I  end   up doing 

all the  side   missions first, 

primarily by  accident.

So I’ll  come   back to  the   main game. 

There was  Assassin’s   Creed Odyssey. 

I met  this   pirate

and she’s  like,

can you  get   me this? 

I’m like, 

I already  got   it.

And she’s  like,

can you  get me  this?

I already  got   it.

I finished  like   12 quests 

in about  two   minutes

because I  just   handed in  all   the stuff 

because I’ve  been   around

to all  the   little islands 

and done  all   the stuff 

and just  did   not realize  like,

oh,

I’ve just   completed this  game

and I’m  way   over -leveled. 

So everything  started   getting really  easy

when I  played   the actual  game.

Oh,

I see. 

This is, 

yeah,

are you  a   bit of   a completionist 

when it   comes to  games?

I will  open   the map. 

I will  do   any mission 

that’s marked  on   the map. 

But if  it’s   like,

you have  to   come here 

at a   certain time 

and you   miss this, 

I won’t. 

once I  finish   the main  story,

I lose  interest.

But if  I   do stuff 

before the  main   story is  finished,

I will  do   everything.

But I   don’t care  about   trophies

and I   don’t care  about,

like I’ll  look   at the  trophy   list

and go  like,

oh,

that seems  fun.

I’ll try  it.

But if  it’s   not fun, 

as soon  as   I stop  having   fun,

I’m done. 

It annoys  me

if a  side   quest in  a   game

remains incomplete, 

but I  don’t   really care  about   trophies.

I just  see   them as  a   bonus.

But with  linear   gameplay,

if the  pacing   of the  game

is designed  well,

you’ll get, 

you know, 

a satisfying  amount   of story 

at each  kind   of interval 

and the  side   bump

is kind  of   between that 

spread nicely. 

But you’re  creating   the pacing 

in an  open   world game. 

So I   try to  imagine

how much  story   I’ve got  left

and how  many   side quests 

should I  do

before the  next   beat of  the   story

to give  myself,

I don’t  know,

a false  linear   style feeling 

as I’m  playing   it.

But that’s  a lot  of   mental effort 

on my   part.

So you’re  trying   to create 

almost a  linear   game

out of  an   open world  game   then?

Exactly.

Okay.

Because I, 

what’s your  favourite   game then? 

Does it   have to   be a  game

or a  series?

Whatever.

It’s not  school.

There’s no  right   answer.

You’re not. 

But there  is

a linear  right   answer.

There is  a correct  answer

to this  question

you’re asking  me.

I’d say   the three 

most fun  series   for me 

are Pokemon, 

Legend of  Zelda

and the  Tales of  series.

Tales of? 

Each game  in   the series 

has a  different

last word. 

Tales of  Sinfonia,

Tales of  the   Abyss,

Tales of… 

Oh, okay. 

I don’t  think   I’ve played 

any of  those.

Eternia.

They’re really, 

really, really  good.

Really long  games.

RPGs.

Since I  haven’t   played them, 

I can’t  make   any comments. 

No.

I mean, 

you can  comment   on the   name.

My favourite  is   Tales of  Sinfonia.

What does   that mean  though?

Like,

this is  the   problem

with a  lot   of the… 

When you  get   into

ancient,

I don’t  know,

like fantasy  RPGs   and stuff, 

they start  to use  words

and I  often   don’t know 

if it’s  a   real word 

or I   just don’t  know   that word. 

And then  I   feel,

am I   dumb

or have  I   not read  enough?

So sometimes  I   see words, 

I’m like, 

I really  just   like to   know

if that’s  a   real word 

before I  ask   questions.

So,

symphony,

what is  it?

Symfonia?

Yeah, symfonia. 

Is that  a   word?

You’ve given  this   word

more thought  in   this 10  seconds

than I  have

in the  20   years I’ve  played   it.

Like a  symphony,

I imagine. 

Well, yeah, 

but that’s… 

So,

symphony is  implied

in the  etymology

of the   word,

but has  that   word…

Is that  a…

Okay,

I gotta  look it  up.

I never  heard

the actual   word

symfonia.

I think  it’s…

I think  it’s…

I imagine   it’s a  bit

like a  Frankenstein   word

created for  the   game.

Symfonia is  Greek,

is a   much -discussed  word

applied different  times

to bagpipe  the   drum.

Shut up. 

What?

Greeks would  not   talk

about bagpipes. 

In ancient  Greek   music,

same as  Concord

or consonants 

in medieval  music,

a name  applied

to several  distinct

instruments such  as

bagpipe,

hurdy -gurdy, 

or virginal, 

and then  just   says

same as  symphony.

That’s made  it

more confusing. 

To be   honest,

I wouldn’t  say

there’s anything 

to do  with   music

in the   gameplay

or the  story,

so I’m  not   quite sure 

why it’s  called   symphony.

What’s a  hurdy  -gurdy?

I’ve heard  that,

but I  don’t   know

what it  is.

I was  thinking

the same  thing.

You know  what   a hurdy  -gurdy   is?

Hurdy -gurdy. 

Okay,

you look  up   that.

We’re going  to   spend

the rest  of   the time 

just looking  up   words.

It looks  a   little bit 

like a  cross   between

a guitar  and a  violin

with accordion  mixed   in.

That’s just  nonsense.

What am  I   looking at? 

It has  a   crank.

What are  you   cranking

if you’re  plucking

the strings? 

I don’t  know.

Are there  any   hurdy -gurdy 

players out  there?

So it  must   be

multiple things 

happening at  the   same time, 

like two  instruments

in one. 

Hmm.

Oh,

so what  I’m   looking,

the one  I’m   looking at  now

has the   crank,

strings,

and keys. 

And then  I   got a  picture

of this  guy

playing the  hurdy  -gurdy

and he   looks like 

he’s having  a   heart attack. 

Okay.

I don’t   know.

I’m getting  a   lot of 

medieval -looking 

women in  forests

holding a  hurdy  -gurdy.

That’s the  vibe

I’m getting  from

players.

This guy  has   hurdy -gurdied 

himself out. 

Oh my  god.

Like,

why would  you   even

paint that  poor   man’s

face like  that?

That’s awful. 

I’m assuming 

he’s probably  singing

whilst playing. 

The sound, 

the only  sound   I imagine 

coming from  that   mouth

is,

The mouth, 

the mouth  shape

isn’t pretty, 

is it? 

No.

It does   look,

it does  look   pained.

If I  can   get the  sounds

and maybe  play   some

hurdy -gurdy  music

in the  background.

Ooh.

I bet  that’d   be good 

for D  &D.

You know, 

playing D  &D

and having  tavern   music.

That might  be what  it is 

because again, 

but even  that

usually is, 

it’s like   a couple  guys.

It’s like  a   quartet

or something. 

Because you  have

the little  drums.

They always  have

like a  nice   little

gentle beat 

in the  background.

Yes.

It’ll have  like   a soft  drum

and then  it’ll   be

like a   little,

I always  think   of

mandolin?

Something like  that?

Yeah.

Yeah,

sometimes maybe  a   little

flute or 

little guitar 

as well. 

Alright,

just hold  a   second.

I’m going  to   get Dave. 

He’s grumpy  on   the tape 

on the  bed.

He can  sit   on my   lap

for a  while.

And then  he’ll   get annoyed 

from sitting  on   my lap. 

Dave’s name. 

Was it  always   Dave

or is  it   short for  David?

Well,

I only, 

because my  kids,

we got  a   dog.

He obviously  had   a name 

with his  previous   owner,

but we  don’t   know

who that  was.

And then  he was  rescued.

And then, 

so the   rescue place, 

they choose  like

very Japanese  names.

It’s like  Muffin

or something 

and popcorn 

and stuff. 

And all  Japanese   kids,

dogs,

animals names 

are like  food.

Like the  most   common name 

for a  cat

is Latte

or something. 

It depends  on their  color.

But then  my   kids were  like,

well,

we have  to   give him  a   name

because he’s  part

of our  family   now.

And they  were   coming up 

with really  awful   names

that I   did not   enjoy.

And I  just   looked at  them

and I  went   Dave

and they  were   just like, 

what?

And I  was   like,

well,

every Dave  I   know

is really  nice.

And they  were   like,

oh,

because that’s  a   really

unique name. 

It’s a  Western   name.

And they  got   really excited 

about Dave. 

And I  was   kind of 

just threw  it   out.

I wasn’t  100  % serious, 

but I  was   like,

we could  use   an English  name.

And I’ve  always   liked

giving my  dogs   names

that were  just

regular people  names.

Which is   exactly

what Dave  is.

Everyone knows  Dave.

Yeah.

Everyone has  a Dave 

in their  life.

I’m not  saying

they’re all  good,

but most  of   the Daves

I’ve known

have been  pretty   cool.

They’re always  good

at DIY. 

Yeah.

Yeah.

No,

100%.

Yeah.

Let’s watch  the   footy.

There’s a  really,

really old  comedy

sketch show  from   Canada

called Kids  in   the Hall. 

It was, 

he sang  a   song.

He sang  a   song

about terriers 

are my   favorite breed. 

And he  sang   a song 

about all  the   Daves I  know.

And so  maybe

in my  brain,

I just  conflated

those two  songs

into Daves 

are all   the dogs

I know. 

These are  the   Daves

I know, 

I know.

These are  the Daves 

I know. 

David Hockner, 

he works  in my 

dad’s store. 

He’s worked 

for 12  years.

He’ll probably 

work here 

four more. 

Yeah.

All the  dogs

you live  with

are called  Dave.

Yeah.

I rescued  a   beagle

that was  just   out

walking around. 

So I  picked   him up 

and then  I   called him 

Ricardo Montalban. 

And I  had,

his actual  full   name

was Ricardo 

Lamborghini Montalban 

because I  just   liked

the way   that sounds. 

And then  I   took him 

to the  shelter

because I  couldn’t

take him. 

And they  kept

that name. 

Did they? 

Yeah.

They were   like,

okay,

well,

what’s his  name?

I’m like, 

well,

I don’t  know   his name 

because I  just   found

him on   the street. 

He’s obviously  like

actually someone’s  dog.

So I’m  hoping

the owner  finds   him

again.

But until  then,

they wrote  on   the name 

tag,

Ricardo Lamborghini 

Montalban.

Crikey.

Yeah.

What inspired  the   name

to just  get   out of  the   car?

No,

I just  looked   at him 

and he  was   like

a fat, 

slow dog. 

I was  like,

yep,

Ricardo.

I like  Spanish

sounding names. 

Like in  my   book,

my book, 

the main  character

is called 

Montana El  Diablo,

which Montana  is,

I love, 

I think  naming

your child 

after a   state

is very  funny.

Like calling  your   kid

Paris or  India

or a   place.

Yeah.

Because then  they,

can they   go there 

or not? 

Like if  you   were

from Montana, 

would you  go   to Montana 

or would  it   be weird 

if you’d  never   been

to Montana? 

I think  in   this case, 

Montana by  the   people

who live  in   Montana

is called  Montana.

So being  called   Montana

sounds weird. 

But if   you,

if you  are   called,

I can’t  think   of a   good example, 

the people  who   live

in a   city or  a country 

that don’t  call   it

the same  name

as you   call it. 

Oh,

okay.

So if  I   was called 

Germany

and I  went   to Germany, 

it’s weird. 

I don’t  think   that,

maybe that’s  not   so weird 

because it’s  called

Deutschland.

So it’s. 

But everyone 

in Deutschland 

knows that  other   people

call it  Germany.

So Japan, 

Japan has  Japan

and technically 

it’s not  Japan.

It should  be   Nihon

or Nippon. 

The fact  that   there’s

three or  four   names

is already  a   bit much. 

I can’t  think   of examples 

where the, 

the Western  name

isn’t widespread 

in that   country.

Yeah.

We,

we’re,

the problem 

you’re running  into

is that. 

Yeah.

Well,

the problem 

you’re running  into

is that  English

is a   very dominant 

language in  the   world

right now. 

So what  we   say

in English 

is what  people

are going  to   say.

Is there  anything

you’re doing 

for pride  month?

I actually  did

want to   ask that 

when you  mentioned

pride month. 

Do you  do   anything?

I don’t  do   anything

for pride  month   really.

Just be   proud.

And just, 

oh,

if I  can   muster it. 

Every month 

is pride  month

for me.

arrogant sob. 

Yeah.

No,

you should  be   proud

of one  yourself.

You don’t  have   to be 

effervescent or  exuberant

to enjoy  pride   month.

I just  don’t   know.

I’m not  avoiding   it.

I just  literally

don’t think  about   it

at all. 

But it’s  not   to say 

I’m not  proud

of things  I do 

and places  I   go.

You seem  weirdly

conflicted about  it.

No,

no qualms. 

It’s just, 

it’s just  not   my thing. 

I don’t  really   like

crowded places. 

I’ve not  really   been to, 

I’d planned  to   go to 

Nottingham Pride 

in England  once   before

with my  friend.

But we  got   waylaid

at a  pub.

And so  we   went

to Nottingham  Pride

eventually.

But all  the   good stuff 

had finished. 

And actually  it   seemed

to be  just   fine.

And there  was   just

little markets 

and clusters  of   people

rather than 

big bustling  events.

Because I  just   get

uncomfortable   in

crowds like  that   anyway.

So maybe  that’s   why

I don’t  do   any events. 

No,

I don’t. 

Like,

if they  had   a

straight white  man   day,

well that  would   just be 

like a  race   riot.

So,

the Proud  Boys,

I don’t  go   to those. 

Proud Boys. 

Is that  a real  thing?

In America, 

Proud Boys  are   essentially

like a  racist   group.

They claim  to   not be  racist.

But they’re  the   ones,

they’re in  the   news.

They do  marches

whenever there’s 

immigrants and  stuff.

It’s just, 

they all  look   like

relatives of  mine,

which.

Okay.

It’s a  little   off -putting. 

Like,

I’m losing  my   hair,

so I  keep   thinking

I should  just   shave my  head.

But I’m  like,

man,

do I  look   like a  Nazi.

Like,

I look  like   a fourth 

white kind  of   guy

when I  shave   my head. 

It’s not  really

what I’m  going   for.

I think  the   beard

saves it  though.

The beard  helps   a lot. 

It does. 

It’s,

it’s,

it’s,

yeah.

If I  shave   my head 

and shave  my   face,

I’m a  poster   boy

for those  people.

I think  you’d   probably,

yeah,

that looks  right.

But,

ah,

but you  could   counteract

that by  getting   a tattoo 

of not  something   racist,

something not  racist

on your  head.

Where,

where would  I   put it? 

So like  on   my forehead, 

where am  I   putting this? 

That’s it, 

back of  the   head.

And what  does   it say? 

Not racist? 

It says, 

not a  Nazi,

not racist. 

Actually,

I’m a  very   nice human  being.

Oh,

so like  a   little   disclaimer   almost.

Fit it  in.

Yeah,

yeah,

yeah.

I have  a   big head. 

I could  probably   put that  much

on my  head.

And I, 

I am  getting   that,

like,

I’m losing  my   hair

on the   top.

So I’m  getting   that ring. 

So if  I   got it  around   the sides, 

if I  wanted   to cover  it   up,

I still  cover   it up. 

Hmm.

Which would  be   pretty nice. 

My dad  had   one of  those   rings.

I think  it,

it comes  for   all of  us   eventually.

Is this  that   part?

So,

um,

my brother  went   bold,

uh,

rather quickly, 

uh,

in his  twenties.

I think  he   started,

he was  getting   like the, 

the,

the ring, 

it’s a  little   circle shape 

on the  top   of the  head.

Oh yeah. 

Of,

um,

of hair, 

but this  was   receding here. 

That kind  of.

So I  had   a widow’s  peak,

but the  widow’s   peak looked  good   for a  long   time.

So I  actually   was quite  lucky

because it  was   receding in  the,

the,

the,

the two  parts   in the, 

I don’t  know.

So it  was,

Oh God, 

it’s awful. 

No,

it was, 

it started  here   and here, 

but when  I   still had  hair   in the  middle

and it  wasn’t   thin,

it looked  pretty   good.

Like I  could   do stuff  with   it,

but then  it   just,

you could, 

I didn’t  know   I had  a   bald spot  on   the back  of   my head. 

The day  I   discovered it  was   so sad. 

I was  on   an elevator  and   it had  a   camera and  a   little screen. 

And then  it   showed you  like   ads.

And then  it   switched to, 

I was  reading   the ad  and   then it  switched   to the  top   of my  head.

And I  was   like,

Oh fuck. 

I didn’t, 

I didn’t  know   about any  of   that.

Like,

I was  like,

what’s all  this   nonsense in  the   back?

I thought  I   was okay. 

And that  was   like,

I was  like,

no,

I’m done. 

Oh,

crikey.

Bless you. 

I mean, 

I personally  don’t   find anything  problematic   about a  balding   head at  any   stage of  balding.

So you  can   be yourself  around   me.

I don’t  care.

It’s a  problem.

Losing my, 

losing my  hair.

What part  of   the LGBT, 

I guess  that’s   just plus. 

B.

It’s B. 

Bold bastard. 

That’s B. 

Bold bastard. 

That’s LGBTQ+. 

Yeah.

Losing my  hair   doesn’t bother  me.

Losing my  hair   unevenly really  pisses   me off. 

So like  it,

I had  a   strip in  the   middle and  then   like one  side   was way  less   than the  other   side.

And I  was   like that  just   like lose  it   in older  order.

Okay.

Like a  Mexican   wave of  hair   loss.

Or something. 

Do it  properly.

Don’t,

don’t like  half   my head  is   gone.

Asymmetry doesn’t  look   good with  hair   unless you’re  doing   it on  purpose.

Yeah.

Because I  wasn’t   doing it  on   purpose.

It didn’t  look   good.

I suppose  it’s   maybe a  similar   problem to  trying   to grow  a   beard and  it   being patchy. 

Yeah.

No,

I do. 

Like I’m  lucky   that my  beard   is pretty  full   and regular. 

It’s gorgeous. 

Yeah.

Well,

I mean, 

when it   comes in  right   now,

I’ve switched. 

I was  using   a beard  oil   and it  wasn’t   doing it. 

My skin  was   getting really  dry.

So I  switched   to beard  balm.

B -A  -L  -M.

Balm.

B -A  -L  -M.

It’s balm. 

It’s beard  balm.

But I, 

I don’t  know   why I’ve  decided   to make  it   really clear  that   it’s because  I   said,

my family  English   is their  second   language.

So I  said   beard balm  and   they were  like,

you’re what? 

And then, 

cause they  thought   it was  B  -O -M  -B.

Yeah.

So I  had   to go, 

no,

no,

balm.

But you  can   say it  really   quickly.

It’s beard  balm.

And it’s  a   thick,

thick moisturizer. 

It’s really  gooey   and you  stick   it on  your   face.

It’s more  fun   to play  with   right now  than   it is  to   actually apply. 

So I’m, 

I’m using  it   properly.

I hope. 

Is it  one   of those  things   where it  goes   in and  you’ve   got to  leave   it and 

wash it  out   later?

Or do  you   just.

I know  it’s   because   basically I  think   it’s after  you   shower,

when your  beard   is wet, 

you put  it   in and  it   locks in  the   moisture   moisture.

And then  it   like moisturizes  your   skin.

Cause I, 

I did  get   a lot  of   dry skin. 

So I   don’t want  beard   dandruff.

Oh,

that’d be  awful.

Wouldn’t it? 

Yes,

it is. 

It’s terrible. 

Where else  can   you get  dandruff?

Uh,

anywhere.

I mean, 

dandruff is  just   dry skin, 

but it  just   gets stuck  in   your hair. 

And then  like   the snows  of   Kilimanjaro   happen.

So that’s, 

Oh,

yeah.

Yeah.

So you  could   technically get  pubic   dandruff.

Yeah.

Anywhere you  have   hair.

But it, 

like you  say,

it’s going  to   be dry. 

So exposure  to   air and  not   hidden under  clothes   and layers  that   that’s going  to   be the  driest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So maybe  nudists   get dandruff  in   their pubic  hair.

They could. 

Absolutely.

Yeah.

We should  bring   on a  nudist.

Uh,

I do,

you know, 

I don’t  know   any nudists. 

We could, 

we could  start   hunting for  people   with   alternative   lifestyles and  then   like interview  them.

I’m okay  with   that.

Yeah.

Cause my  understanding   with this  thing   we’re doing  right   now is  I   can just  add   people to 

this room, 

like up  to   30.

I know. 

28 nudists. 

Imagine that. 

Okay.

So we’re  doing   this.

We have  28   nudists who  are   in the  nude   while talking  to   us.

Would you  feel   like you  have   to take  off   your shirt? 

This is  social   pressure.

This is  all   social pressure. 

Hmm.

I think  I’d   be fine  with   it nowadays. 

Cause I’m  used   to going  to   the onsen  and   things.

I would  take   off my  shirt   if it  made   them more  comfortable,

but I  would   be self  -conscious   about it  for   sure.

Okay.

I’d be  tillated   by it. 

I have, 

I have  a   disgusting   nipples.

I have  really   pink nipples  with   just the  hairs   that grow  around   them.

So it  looks   like two  octopus   octopi.

Call back. 

Yeah.

So I  would   be,

I would  actually   want to  shave   the hair  around   my nipples  before   I did. 

So do  you   actually have  exactly   eight hairs  per   nipple?

No,

no.

It’s more  of   a,

an   impressionist   painting.

Okay.

Okay.

Of an  octopi.

than an  actual,

like,

like a  realistic   hand drawing  depiction   of one. 

Well,

since we  spoke,

I had  an   event.

This is  a   quick change  topic.

Okay.

I said  something   to my  wife   and I  want   to say  the   same thing  to   you and  see   how you  interpret   what I  say,

because I  think   you’re going  to   interpret it  correctly.

But she, 

her interpretation  of   this made  me   feel bad  about   how she  sees   me as  a   human being. 

So I  went   to Osaka  for   a couple  of   days and  I   stayed in  a   hotel.

You said, 

Oh,

are you  doing   anything   exciting?

And I  said,

Oh,

I’m eating  KFC   in my  underwear.

What do  you   imagine I  was   doing?

I imagine  you   wearing only  underwear,

eating KFC. 

Yes.

Which is  the   normal human  thing.

And I  was   actually saying  like,

I’m being  kind   of gross  by   sitting in  my   underwear and  eating   food.

That’s greasy. 

But,

you know, 

I’m on, 

I’m essentially  on   my own  for   the first  time   in forever. 

I think  the   vibe of  that   is like  saying,

I’m like  doing   embarrassingly   nothing with  my   time right  now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Literally just  existing   lolling around. 

I’m in  a   Japanese business  hotel,

which is  a   bed,

a TV  and   an incredibly  small,

small desk. 

I am  going   to be  as   lazy as  humanly   possible.

My wife  interpreted   this as  I   took Kentucky  fried   chicken and  put   it in  my

underwear.

And I  was   eating it  out   of my  underwear.

That’s what  I   thought.

She would  think   when you  told   me,

cause I  had   a quick. 

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I  don’t   know what  I’m   hurt.

Like,

do you  think   I would  do   that is  actually   hurts me  more.

The fact  that   you thought  this   was a  thing   I would  do   or could  do   really

bothers me. 

Wait,

when she, 

when she  shared   this   understanding   that she  had   a bit, 

was she  disgusted   by it? 

Was she  just   matter of  fact   about it? 

What did  you   put the  chicken   in your  underwear?

Which brings  up   a whole  thing.

Like I’m  wearing   my underwear  and   I put  chicken   in it. 

Did I  take   the underwear  off   and put  the   chicken in  it?

I never  got   into that  detail.

Cause it  was   too late  by   the time  we   were having  the   conversation,

but I  was   so focused  on,

do you  think   I would  put   food in  my   underwear and  then   eat the  underwear,

eat the  food   out of  my   underwear as  a   human being? 

Like,

is that  what   you think  of   me as  a   person?

And it  also   says like, 

what did  you   marry?

What,

what’s good. 

I was  deeply,

deeply hurt  by   this.

Maybe she  thought   she finally, 

I can  relate   to you. 

I’ve been  doing   this for  years.

Yeah.

I finally  found   my match. 

Yeah.

It’s something  you   could do  together.

But she  wasn’t,

she wasn’t, 

she wasn’t  making   it seem  like   this was  an   appealing point  of   my character. 

This was  like,

Oh,

you’re so  disgusted.

Yeah.

I know. 

I’m just, 

if she  was   surprised,

she saw  me   that way. 

Well,

was she  surprised   about it? 

Yes.

Well,

then she  didn’t   see you  that   way then. 

But then  when   I said  it,

Oh yeah. 

I don’t  know.

That makes  sense.

That would  be   more insulting. 

Well,

when I, 

when I  said   it to  her,

she didn’t  sound   like it  was   an unreasonable  thing   for me  to   do.

She was  like,

of course  you   would do  something   that weird. 

And I, 

I don’t  know.

I’m,

I’m a  little,

this is, 

this is  taking   me down  a   notch for  sure.

Perhaps.

Thinking.

Of the  most   positive.

Um,

scenario here. 

Perhaps she  was.

Um,

postponing her  shock.

Because she, 

maybe she  expected,

is this  something   cultural?

So if  I   show instant  discuss,

it’s going  to   be very  problematic   and very, 

you know, 

offensive to  you.

Maybe she  was   just coming  at   it with  an   understanding eye  before.

And maybe  express   her surprise  elsewhere.

You are  being   so kind. 

And I  appreciate   that.

Because yeah, 

I can’t, 

I can’t  get   over it. 

I I’m, 

I’m so  hurt.

I’m hurt  that   someone would  think   that I  would   do that. 

Okay.

Do you  know   anyone in  real   life that  you   think would  do   that?

If you  had   to choose  someone?

So what, 

one of  the   things I  really   enjoyed it. 

No,

I don’t. 

I don’t. 

Like if  someone   did it, 

you would  have   to explain  to   me the  appeal.

So there’s, 

there’s a  thing   like in  university,

I did  a   lot of  psychology,

which I  really   enjoyed.

And it  was   a big  thing   for me  was   like,

okay,

there’s fetishes  I   understand.

And there’s  fetishes   I don’t  understand.

And then  how   do you  get   into a  point   where there’s  a   fetish?

I just  don’t   get like, 

there’s people  who   are into, 

you know, 

doms and  subs   and stuff. 

And I’m  like,

I kind  of   get it. 

Maybe I’m  not   into it, 

but I  would   get it. 

There’s people  into   like doing  things   to other  people.

Maybe I  don’t   want to  do   it,

but I  understand   it.

Then there’s  like,

I’m going  to   lay down  and   have someone  shit   on my  chest.

I don’t  even   get that. 

Like,

like I  don’t   get what  the   appeal is. 

Like that’s  a   level of  humiliation   beyond just  sub   and dom  stuff.

Honestly,

on both  sides,

I don’t, 

wouldn’t get  anything   from shitting  on   someone.

And I  absolutely   would not  appreciate   someone shitting  on   me.

Yeah.

That’s,

that’s a  tough   one to, 

to get  if   you just  not   already getting  it.

No,

but that’s  it.

And I’m  not   even saying  it’s   a bad  thing   to do, 

or you  shouldn’t   do it. 

I’m thinking  if   it’s two  consensual   adults,

just shit  on   each other  all   you want, 

please have  a   room prepared  in   advance.

But I  don’t   get it. 

And so  to   me,

eating fried  chicken   out of  your   underwear,

I don’t  even   get where  that   would come  from.

I mean, 

actually takes  me   to your  point   where maybe  there’s   something in  her,

where she’s  actually   like,

oh,

this makes  sense   to me. 

Shitting on  someone.

It’s,

I don’t  know.

I think, 

I guess  maybe   some,

some people  have   the fetish  of   kind of  being   reduced   completely to  not   even a 

person,

just something  like   some have  like   a humiliation  thing   where they  don’t   want to  be

seen as  a   human anymore. 

They want  to   be seen  as   some,

I don’t  know,

object just, 

just to  be   used and  abused   as,

and I  get,

well,

I don’t  know   if I  get   it,

but I’m  not,

I’m not  big   into it. 

Like you  say,

anyone who  can   do anything  you   want,

as long  as   they’re   enjoying it  and   not on  anyone.

Then maybe  it   comes from  that.

Okay.

So the  most   extreme case  of   this was, 

I think  it   was a  German   dude.

It might’ve  been   Japanese,

but they  met   online and  they   agreed that  the   man,

a was  going   to murder  man   B and  then   eat him. 

Oh,

it’s nice. 

And that’s  two   consultant   consenting   adults.

Yeah.

Part of  me   is like, 

that’s wrong. 

Cause it’s  murder   and stuff. 

But then  part   of me   is like, 

they,

if they, 

if they’re  both   down to  it,

well,

cause he  has   to kill  the   other person. 

So that   is,

that is  technically   murder.

Is it  not   technically   euthanasia?

If the  person’s   asking for  it?

No.

Cause euthanasia, 

I don’t  know.

Oh,

now we’re  gonna   have to  look   up euthanasia. 

I think  euthanasia   is like, 

you’re putting  someone   on essentially  out   of their  misery   or cause  they’re

sick.

No,

no euthanasia  is   just killing  another   person,

but I  don’t   know.

Is that, 

do you  agree?

I think  I’ve   not looked  it   up for  a   while.

I’m looking  it   up right  now.

Yeah.

I would  just   say a  consensual   someone killing  you.

Okay.

Medical practice  of   intentionally   ending a  life   in order  to   relieve pain  and

suffering.

So that’s  why   I connected  it   immediately with  being   sick.

So I  have   terminal cancer. 

I’m not  going   to survive. 

I’m in  a   lot of  pain.

Euthanasia is  essentially   putting me  out   of my  misery.

Not the, 

the dead  dying   part is  secondary   to what  you’re   doing is  actually   helping me 

relieve pain. 

Drugs won’t  do   it anymore. 

Yeah.

That’s the  typical   view of  it,

isn’t it? 

But what  is   sick?

We don’t  know   this person  who   wanted to  be   eaten.

Maybe there  was   a different  kind   of sickness. 

Well,

there’s   emotional pain  because   in Canada, 

you can  have   medically assisted  suicide.

Uh,

or they  call   it medically  assisted   death.

And it  basically,

my father  did   this.

Uh,

he just  wasn’t   going to  get   better.

You basically  agree.

They just  jack   you up  on   drugs.

They actually  had   him out. 

This is  such   a nice  way   to die. 

They had  him   out on  like   a terrace  on   a nice  day.

And they  had   some friends  come   over and  they’re   like,

Oh,

he liked  guitar.

Why don’t  you   come out  and   play some  of   his favorite  songs?

They jacked  him   up on  drugs.

He’s feeling  really,

really good. 

And then  went   to sleep. 

And that’s  amazing.

It is  like,

if you’re  going   to choose, 

I was  like,

everything   about that  sounded   awesome.

And so  I   talked to  him   in the  morning   before he  did   this.

I couldn’t  be   there,

but it  was   like,

I actually  was   like,

I have  a   lot of  respect   for what  you’re   doing.

Cause this  is   scary,

but it’s, 

you know, 

you’ve,

you’ve chosen  how   to do  this.

That’s really  cool.

Mental.

Yeah.

Yeah.

To be  like,

I’m going  to   do it. 

And because  it’s   in Canada  and   it’s part  of   the vaccine, 

like doctors  and   stuff,

they go  through   like months  of   counseling leading  up   to it  and   make sure 

everyone’s okay  with   it.

Like,

you can’t  just   like,

I want  to   do it. 

I think  Sweden   or something  has   something   similar,

but they’re  like,

Oh,

you can  do   it if  you’re   depressed.

And that’s  a   lot.

You might, 

the problem  is   like,

you could  come   out of  depression.

I’m not  going   to say  more   easily than  being   sick,

but like  terminals   disease,

you’re not  getting   better.

Like that’s  guaranteed.

It’s hard  to   quantify the  difficulty   of depression. 

against   different,

more physical  diseases.

It’s difficult. 

I think  because   me,

there’s something  that’s   mental.

There’s always  a   hope you  could   get better, 

which is  why   I would  have   a lot  of   trouble   agreeing to  it   as a  third   party.

Ethically   speaking.

And I  don’t   have a  question.

I don’t  have   an answer  for   this question  either.

But if  somebody   was depressed  and   they would, 

and they  wanted   to take  this   option of  medically   assisted death, 

is it  right   for other  people   who aren’t  in   the brain  of   this person  to   have a 

say in  that?

Well,

it’s so  the   way I  actually   had to  participate   in some  of   the counseling, 

because they  wanted   to make  sure   that I, 

and the  first   thing is  they   want to  make   sure that  no   one’s influencing  the

person.

That’s actually  number   one.

So it’s  not   me pushing  for   this other  person   to actually  go   through with  this

process.

So they  have   counseling with  individuals   and then  the   family is  a   group and 

stuff.

So I  did   a couple  of   those,

but me  being   so far  away,

I wasn’t  having   a particularly  positive   or negative  effect   on it, 

I think. 

So I  wasn’t   a big  concern,

but it  was,

yeah,

they were  just   trying to  make   sure that  like   no one  was   pushing it. 

And then  it   was like, 

okay,

do you  understand   this is  real?

Like you’re  going   to do  this.

And it’s  not   like something  you   can back  out   of once  you’ve   like,

once they’ve  put   the needle  in   the thing, 

you can’t  stop.

So that’s  another   thing you  have   to be  really   aware of. 

You can’t  like   change your  mind   at the  last   minute.

But they  keep   trying,

they almost  try   to get  you   to stop. 

So like  to   really just  to   make sure  that   you know  what   you’re doing. 

No,

I imagine  that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cause if  that’s,

if,

if the  desire   for it  goes   through all  the   resistance and  all   the things  that

could dissuade  them,

yeah.

Then perhaps  it’s   more likely  that   it’s the  best   thing for  them.

Like in  my   dad’s situation, 

it was  like,

I am  so   uncomfortable.

I basically  don’t   sleep anymore. 

Like I  sleep,

I wake  up,

I sleep. 

So I’m  just   tired all  the   time.

My essentially  poor   wife,

she has  to   live with  this.

It’s not  really   fair to  her   anymore.

Cause I  can’t   help her  in   any way. 

She has  to   just take  care   of me. 

Her at  this   time,

like retirement  age,

this isn’t  how   she should  be   spending her  time.

So like  he   was being  considerate   of himself  and   other people. 

So like, 

I’m uncomfortable. 

Everyone else  is   uncomfortable.

It just  sucks   for everybody. 

Yeah.

So like, 

yeah,

it was, 

it was  an   interesting   process to  go   through.

Interesting.

I’m sure  it   was.

About it. 

Yeah,

I’m sure  it   was.

It’s,

it’s   fascinating.

Yeah.

And that  came   from chicken  in   the underwear. 

So it  did.

That is  a,

what a  jump.